LEGEND Make Us Laugh
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Karate61
There can be no excellence without effort.
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- Jeff
Would it be inappropriate to say "a face only a mother would love!"
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- Stu
Doesn’t matter... I ate my entire family before that pic was taken.
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- Peter
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- Stu
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A young man comes home one day and tells his dad:
"Dad, I met the most wonderful, beautiful girl and I want to propose to her. But, it's a little odd, because she lives next door."
The dad says:
"Uh, I'm afraid you can't do that. Don't tell your mother, but she's actually your sister".
A few months later, the young man comes home all excited and tells his dad:
"I met another wonderful, beautiful girl that I want to propose to. But she lives across the street."
The dad replies:
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, son... and again, not a word to your mother... but you can't marry her either. She's also your sister".
Pizzed off, the son decides to tell his mother about dad's infidelity.
She tells him:
"Oh, go ahead and date either one... they're not your sisters!" :eek::shocked:
"Dad, I met the most wonderful, beautiful girl and I want to propose to her. But, it's a little odd, because she lives next door."
The dad says:
"Uh, I'm afraid you can't do that. Don't tell your mother, but she's actually your sister".
A few months later, the young man comes home all excited and tells his dad:
"I met another wonderful, beautiful girl that I want to propose to. But she lives across the street."
The dad replies:
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, son... and again, not a word to your mother... but you can't marry her either. She's also your sister".
Pizzed off, the son decides to tell his mother about dad's infidelity.
She tells him:
"Oh, go ahead and date either one... they're not your sisters!" :eek::shocked:
1maGoh
Hall of Fame
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I almost asked for help on this one... Man I feel dumb. I realized the joke just in time.
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The 5 unwritten rules to becoming a millionaire
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5.
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RocknRam29
Live, Love, Laugh, & Learn
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They get asked about the recent fight during the Lakers-Rockets game. Probably NSFW. 
View: https://www.facebook.com/mutazz.chenery/videos/2258568897529161/
View: https://www.facebook.com/mutazz.chenery/videos/2258568897529161/
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NSFW. rated "R" . you've been warned. now enjoy.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkWJb8GoLwo
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkWJb8GoLwo
- Joined
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- Stu
A father asks his son what he wants for his 15th birthday.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, wanting to make his son happy, asks his son what that is.
His son replies, “I want a single ping pong ball.”
Confused, his dad agrees, and on his fifteenth birthday, the son opens his present to find a single pig pong ball inside.
“Dad! Thank you so much! I am the happiest kid on this planet!”
The next day, the father goes into his son’s room but doesn’t find the ping pong ball anywhere.
Next year rolls around, and the father asks his son what he wants for his birthday, probably a car, or a new video game.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The father, only wanting to please his son, asks what that one thing is.
His son says to him, “I want a ten pack of ping pong balls.”
The father was a little weirded out, but he did as his son wished, and on his sixteenth birthday, the son opened his present to find a pack of ping pong balls.
“Dad thank you so much! I love them!”
The next day, he goes up to his son’s room, and doesn’t find one ping pong ball anywhere.
Twelve months pass, and it’s time for the son to turn seventeen.
The father, ready for whatever outrageous gift his son might want, asks him what he would like for his birthday.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, thinking he’s about to spend a shitload of money on a new car, asks his son what that thing is.
“I want a jug of ping pong balls.”
The dad, who was just taken aback by the whole situation, bought his son a jug of ping pong balls to open on his seventeenth birthday.
“Oh my god! Dad thank you so much!”
On the next day, the dad goes into his son’s room, but doesn’t find a single ping pong ball anywhere.
Four seasons pass, and his son is becoming an adult. The father, who is about to send his only son to college, prepares himself for the amount of money he is about to spend on his favorite kid to send him to his alma mater, and asks him what he wants for his birthday.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The father asks him what that one thing just might be.
“Well dad, I want a warehouse full of ping pong balls.”
The dad is like, holy shit? “What is up with my son and his ping pong balls?” But he does as his son wishes, and the next day, he drives his son to the an old abandoned warehouse. They open the door, and ping pong balls just roll out. Everywhere.
“Dad. Thank you so much. I love you!”
Around 24 hours later, the dad drives down to the warehouse, opens the door, but there’s not a single ping pong ball inside.
8,772 hours later, the son is turning nineteen. But a few days before his birthday, he is in an awful wreck. He’s hospitalized. Hooked up to thirty different machines.
The father is devastated. He goes into his son’s hospital room, and asks him what he wants for his birthday. “Son, I’m going to make this your best birthday yet. I will buy you anything. Anything you want.”
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, who is already up to protocol, is like, “alright. How many ping pong balls do you want this time?”
“I want a boatload. As many as you can buy.”
The father, just trying to make his son’s days in the hospital enjoyable, buys a boatload of ping pong balls. He buys out every warehouse of ping pong balls. Uses his life savings to buy every single ping pong ball in America.
He walks into his son’s hospital room to tell him the news.
“Dad I can’t believe you bought me all of these ping pong balls. How can I ever repay you?”
The dad, who wants to know what the fuck is up with his son and these ping pong balls, asks, “well there is one way son.”
“What is it Dad?”
“What do you do with all of these fucking ping pong balls?”
The son was happy to tell his dad what he did with the ping pong balls. “Well dad,” he started, but never finished. The son died.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, wanting to make his son happy, asks his son what that is.
His son replies, “I want a single ping pong ball.”
Confused, his dad agrees, and on his fifteenth birthday, the son opens his present to find a single pig pong ball inside.
“Dad! Thank you so much! I am the happiest kid on this planet!”
The next day, the father goes into his son’s room but doesn’t find the ping pong ball anywhere.
Next year rolls around, and the father asks his son what he wants for his birthday, probably a car, or a new video game.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The father, only wanting to please his son, asks what that one thing is.
His son says to him, “I want a ten pack of ping pong balls.”
The father was a little weirded out, but he did as his son wished, and on his sixteenth birthday, the son opened his present to find a pack of ping pong balls.
“Dad thank you so much! I love them!”
The next day, he goes up to his son’s room, and doesn’t find one ping pong ball anywhere.
Twelve months pass, and it’s time for the son to turn seventeen.
The father, ready for whatever outrageous gift his son might want, asks him what he would like for his birthday.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, thinking he’s about to spend a shitload of money on a new car, asks his son what that thing is.
“I want a jug of ping pong balls.”
The dad, who was just taken aback by the whole situation, bought his son a jug of ping pong balls to open on his seventeenth birthday.
“Oh my god! Dad thank you so much!”
On the next day, the dad goes into his son’s room, but doesn’t find a single ping pong ball anywhere.
Four seasons pass, and his son is becoming an adult. The father, who is about to send his only son to college, prepares himself for the amount of money he is about to spend on his favorite kid to send him to his alma mater, and asks him what he wants for his birthday.
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The father asks him what that one thing just might be.
“Well dad, I want a warehouse full of ping pong balls.”
The dad is like, holy shit? “What is up with my son and his ping pong balls?” But he does as his son wishes, and the next day, he drives his son to the an old abandoned warehouse. They open the door, and ping pong balls just roll out. Everywhere.
“Dad. Thank you so much. I love you!”
Around 24 hours later, the dad drives down to the warehouse, opens the door, but there’s not a single ping pong ball inside.
8,772 hours later, the son is turning nineteen. But a few days before his birthday, he is in an awful wreck. He’s hospitalized. Hooked up to thirty different machines.
The father is devastated. He goes into his son’s hospital room, and asks him what he wants for his birthday. “Son, I’m going to make this your best birthday yet. I will buy you anything. Anything you want.”
His son says, “Dad, I have everything I could ever want. But there is one thing that would make me the happiest person alive.”
The dad, who is already up to protocol, is like, “alright. How many ping pong balls do you want this time?”
“I want a boatload. As many as you can buy.”
The father, just trying to make his son’s days in the hospital enjoyable, buys a boatload of ping pong balls. He buys out every warehouse of ping pong balls. Uses his life savings to buy every single ping pong ball in America.
He walks into his son’s hospital room to tell him the news.
“Dad I can’t believe you bought me all of these ping pong balls. How can I ever repay you?”
The dad, who wants to know what the fuck is up with his son and these ping pong balls, asks, “well there is one way son.”
“What is it Dad?”
“What do you do with all of these fucking ping pong balls?”
The son was happy to tell his dad what he did with the ping pong balls. “Well dad,” he started, but never finished. The son died.
Karate61
There can be no excellence without effort.
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Boooo!
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