LEGEND Make Us Laugh

[HX76]

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.


Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.


When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.


The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.


The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.


Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.


How soon can I go home?'

 

[IowaRam]

Meanwhile in Iowa............

 

[RhodyRams]

 

[RamFan503]

So there’s a guy with a fake eye made of wood.

He’s very self conscious of it because it’s fairly obvious and he can’t afford to replace it.

He never goes out but his buddies convince him to go to the local barn dance.

He goes but just sits there.

Finally his buddies spy this girl with a wooden leg - pretty much looking like their buddy - just sitting there.

They convince him to go ask her to dance.

He works up the courage and asks her to dance.

Her response, “would I !?!” In great appreciation for being asked.

He turns and mutters “peg leg peg leg peg leg” as he walks away.

 

[RhodyRams]

So there’s a guy with a fake eye made of wood.

He’s very self conscious of it because it’s fairly obvious and he can’t afford to replace it.

He never goes out but his buddies convince him to go to the local barn dance.

He goes but just sits there.

Finally his buddies spy this girl with a wooden leg - pretty much looking like their buddy - just sitting there.

They convince him to go ask her to dance.

He works up the courage and asks her to dance.

Her response, “would I !?!” In great appreciation for being asked.

He turns and mutters “peg leg peg leg peg leg” as he walks away.

Uggg

 

[Karate61]

Is there a heater under that blanket? They’re both a bit on the butter face side if you ask me. Granted the blond has horse teeth but she probably smells like coconuts.

What teeth?

We don't f' the teeth, do we???

 

[Rmfnlt]

A middle aged man decides he wants to look younger, so he goes and gets a face lift.

On his way home, he stops at the new stand to get a paper. Curious, he asks the attendant how old he thinks he is.
The attendant says "37". The man is thrilled, as he is 47.

Walking a little further, he stops by McDonalds to get a bite to eat. He asks the counter person how old they think he is.
The counter persons say "29". Overjoyed, he tells them he's 47.

He heads to the bus stop to catch a ride home. There's a slightly older woman waiting for the bus. He asks her to guess how old he is.

She says "well, my eyesight isn't very good but, I have learned a fool proof way to guess a mans age."

The man says "how?"

She says "well, I take my hand, put it down his pants, play with his balls for a few minutes and I know how old he is."

The man is curious... he looks around and there's nobody nearby, so he tells her to take a shot.

After 10 minutes of playing with his balls, she proclaims "you're 47 years old".

He's amazed... and asks her how she did that.

She says to him...

"I was behind you in line at McDonalds".

 

[norcalramfan]

 

[RamFan503]

View attachment 26614

Teaching the kids they need to learn how to ride their own bikes.

 

[-X-]

 

[Prime Time]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgDtgyzVZYk

 

[bubbaramfan]

Two Hobos walking down a country road. "Damn. I'm hungry" one says. "Me too", says the other. "i've an idea" says the first, and picks up a horse dropping in the road, walks up to a farm house and knocks on the door. A woman answers and he says "Ma'am, if you don't give me something to eat, I'll have to eat this old, cold horse turd". "Oh, no, come in and I'll fix you something" the lady replies.

After he comes out and tells his buddy of his success, they walk on to the next farm house where the other hobo tries his luck.
He knocks on the door and an old farmer answers. "Mister, If you don't give me something to eat, I'm going to have to eat this old ,cold horse turd. Farmer answers "you don't have to do that, you can go out to my barn and get a nice warm fresh one."

 

[RamFan503]

Thought this was pretty funny. This is a picture of me during the parade of the zombies at RedRun in Virginia City last Saturday.

 

[Selassie I]

Thought this was pretty funny. This is a picture of me during the parade of the zombies at RedRun in Virginia City last Saturday. View attachment 26679

I know that I told you this a minute ago... but damn... you make a good looking zombie.

 

[RamFan503]

I know that I told you this a minute ago... but damn... you make a good looking zombie.

Y’know.... you’re not the first to tell me that. Not my first zombie rodeo

 

[RamFan503]

 

[FaulkSF]

 

[Dodgersrf]

Thought this was pretty funny. This is a picture of me during the parade of the zombies at RedRun in Virginia City last Saturday. View attachment 26679

So you put on a hat and went to a parade. what's the big deal?

 

[dieterbrock]

View attachment 26686

Do you have a pic of you made up to look like a zombie though??
Haha

 

[OldSchool]