Urban Meyer is a complete scumbag.

[jrry32]

It depends on what you think in situations like these. People generally fall into the "condemn them no matter what - there's no excuse", or "each situation is different, let's wait until we know more".

Throughout almost every article is something along the lines of "Urban and/or Shelly did not believe Courtney was not being entirely truthful".

That's enough for me. I don't believe anyone is required to get involved in someone else's relationship. So the fact that Urban clearly had reason to doubt the veracity of Courtney's claims, whether that is right or wrong, is a perfectly logical reason for why Urban did everything that he did.

I had a good friend. I had met his GF a number of times. They were seemingly a great couple. She was very nice whenever we hung out. They seemed like they had a great relationship. He was nicest guy and incredibly personable. Well, another friend of mine texted me an arrest report. It seems this friend was arrested for a very serious domestic violence charge. I read her victim statement that detailed the abuse not only from that day but from the past. Do you know what I didn't do? I didn't assume she was lying because the guy was my friend. As out of character as it seemed, I know from having friends who handle that sort of work that abusers are often great at putting up a facade. It's a way they're able to control their victim. They convince the victim that he or she has no way out because nobody will believe her/him.

She sent texts with pictures of the abuse. There was a previous incident in 2009 that was apparently quite serious. Sorry, Frantik, but that justification doesn't fly with me.

 

[FrantikRam]

I had a good friend. I had met his GF a number of times. They were seemingly a great couple. She was very nice whenever we hung out. They seemed like they had a great relationship. He was nicest guy and incredibly personable. Well, another friend of mine texted me an arrest report. It seems this friend was arrested for a very serious domestic violence charge. I read her victim statement that detailed the abuse not only from that day but from the past. Do you know what I didn't do? I didn't assume she was lying because the guy was my friend. As out of character as it seemed, I know from having friends who handle that sort of work that abusers are often great at putting up a facade. It's a way they're able to control their victim. They convince the victim that he or she has no way out because nobody will believe her/him.

She sent texts with pictures of the abuse. There was a previous incident in 2009 that was apparently quite serious. Sorry, Frantik, but that justification doesn't fly with me.

I agree with what you're saying and it makes sense.

Where I differ is this: I believe based on what all has come out is that instead of Zach and Courtney seeming like a great couple, they seemed like a volatile one. Based on comments from both Shelly and Urban, and even Courtney's own mother - this makes sense to me.

Does that excuse Zach Smith? Hell no. He's a piece of shit.

What it does is make Urban's job much, much trickier.

I suppose a comp to your situation is if your friend told you that his GF has attacked him - I'm not saying that is what happened, but it's what I believe based on the statements being made by many parties. Does it make it okay that he hit her? No. Does it make you think twice before intervening? Definitely.

Urban is way, way, way down on the list of guilty parties here.

Zach
Police
Courtney's friends
Courtney's family
Courtney




Urban


What has been irritating about this situation is that because Urban Meyer is more well known than the rest of the people on that list, he's public enemy number one. That's incredibly stupid.

Her friends and family had much more of an obligation to do something - and in reality, Urban not hiring Smith at Ohio State may make this situation never come to light - him firing him and the public not knowing about everything may have never made this come to light. It's not as if Urban had any actual influence to actually make the abuse stop. The other people on my list actually did.


It's horrible when someone is in an abusive relationship - my sister was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and finally broke down to me and our mom about it. It really opened my eyes. And the list of people to blame for that would look very similar to what I outlined above.


I get your issues with him while he was at Florida. When I first heard this I was ready for Ohio State to dismiss him. I felt weird ever since realizing that he coached Aaron Hernandez. But in this isolated incident, I'm happy with where this landed.

 

[Dieter the Brock]

I just want this gif to reset this convo

 

[jrry32]

I agree with what you're saying and it makes sense.

Where I differ is this: I believe based on what all has come out is that instead of Zach and Courtney seeming like a great couple, they seemed like a volatile one. Based on comments from both Shelly and Urban, and even Courtney's own mother - this makes sense to me.

Does that excuse Zach Smith? Hell no. He's a piece of crap.

What it does is make Urban's job much, much trickier.

I suppose a comp to your situation is if your friend told you that his GF has attacked him - I'm not saying that is what happened, but it's what I believe based on the statements being made by many parties. Does it make it okay that he hit her? No. Does it make you think twice before intervening? Definitely.

Urban is way, way, way down on the list of guilty parties here.

Zach
Police
Courtney's friends
Courtney's family
Courtney




Urban


What has been irritating about this situation is that because Urban Meyer is more well known than the rest of the people on that list, he's public enemy number one. That's incredibly stupid.

Her friends and family had much more of an obligation to do something - and in reality, Urban not hiring Smith at Ohio State may make this situation never come to light - him firing him and the public not knowing about everything may have never made this come to light. It's not as if Urban had any actual influence to actually make the abuse stop. The other people on my list actually did.


It's horrible when someone is in an abusive relationship - my sister was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and finally broke down to me and our mom about it. It really opened my eyes. And the list of people to blame for that would look very similar to what I outlined above.


I get your issues with him while he was at Florida. When I first heard this I was ready for Ohio State to dismiss him. I felt weird ever since realizing that he coached Aaron Hernandez. But in this isolated incident, I'm happy with where this landed.

It's really not, though. Urban Meyer is in a position of power and was the person best equipped to help her.(along with his wife) It's not a surprise that he's taking a beating. Urban absolutely had influence, and he had the power to help her.

 

[FrantikRam]

It's really not, though. Urban Meyer is in a position of power and was the person best equipped to help her.(along with his wife) It's not a surprise that he's taking a beating. Urban absolutely had influence, and he had the power to help her.

Really? I don't see that at all.

All Urban could have done was tell them to get help (which it sounds like he did while at Florida) and fire Smith sooner.

Urban could not actually have made Smith stop - and really, had he fired him, that could have made it worse. We'll never know. It's not like Urban can force him to stop. And it sounds like there would have been no point to Urban calling the police since the police had been called in multiple instances.

 

[jrry32]

Really? I don't see that at all.

All Urban could have done was tell them to get help (which it sounds like he did while at Florida) and fire Smith sooner.

Urban could not actually have made Smith stop - and really, had he fired him, that could have made it worse. We'll never know. It's not like Urban can force him to stop. And it sounds like there would have been no point to Urban calling the police since the police had been called in multiple instances.

I see it quite clearly. Urban could have fired Zach, he and his wife could have offered Courtney a place to stay and resources if she wanted to leave Zach, and backed her up in the courts or with the police. There's a lot they could have done for an alleged friend. Instead, they did nothing and helped Zach maintain control.

 

[…..]

lol


Wow so now the Meyer's helped Zach maintain control over Shelley.

I love the internet!

 

[Ramlock]

Urban Meyer doesn’t pass the smell test.

And now, an apology on Twitter? He’s an arrogant POS.

Stand up and take it like a man, dickhead.

 

[…..]

Urban Meyer doesn’t pass the smell test.

And now, an apology on Twitter? He’s an arrogant POS.

Stand up and take it like a man, dork.

He sure isnt helping my crusade any, is he? LOL

If she really needs to be apologized to, I would hope he and his wife pick up the phone at least and make a heartfelt approach to her.

If Meyer keeps talking himself into scumbaggery, I'm gonna have to jump ship! Unfortunately, each time he talks, his situation gets worse.

 

[FrantikRam]

At this point Urban should be fired.

I still don't agree that he's a "scumbag" necessarily, and I still think his actions could have been justified.....up until media day.

Classic case of him lying about it being worse than what he's lying about - and certainly making it look worse. There would have been nothing wrong IMO with Urban saying "I wasn't sure whether or not to believe her, and so I kept Zach Smith on when I shouldnt have" - that's all he had to say. And this would have been over.

Now the circus he's created? Time to move on.

 

[jrry32]

lol


Wow so now the Meyer's helped Zach maintain control over Shelley.

I love the internet!

From a DV survivor:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/ali-owens/why-we-stay-a-deeper-look_b_10315292.html

Look at #1 on her list of why DV victims stay. I'll even quote it:
1. We are afraid of being shamed, judged, hated, or accused of lying.

You hear it all the time — an allegation of domestic abuse is waved away, with the reasoning, “I know him — he would never do that, she’s making it all up, he’s a nice guy.”

News flash: people with abusive tendencies are often very, very good at creating a public image that differs tremendously with what happens behind closed doors. In fact, a calculating and manipulative mindset is extremely common in people who abuse their partners. Anyone can seem nice; abusers don’t wear signs around their necks. Claiming that someone you know isn’t capable of abuse because “he seems so nice” is absolutely not a sound method of reasoning, because you do not know the whole story.

My abusive ex had charm and charisma in spades. We lived in a very small town, and he was constantly going out of his way to look like a “nice guy.” He was well-liked in the community — he would do favors for other people, or lend money to someone who was short on rent. His abuse was calculated, controlled, and only allowed to flourish when there was no one else around. Some of our closest friends — people who we saw literally every day — had no idea how cruel he was to me, because they never witnessed it. Because, in public, he was a “nice guy.”

During the nine-year duration of our relationship, there were so many instances in which I wanted to tell someone what was going on. But I was paralyzed by fear: fear that no one would believe me. Fear that they’d think I was only looking for attention. Fear that they’d call me a fool for sticking around. Fear that they’d label me a liar, just the way so many people have done to Amber Heard, without knowing anything about what actually transpired.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Except Courtney actually told people she believed were her friends. What did they do?

Do you still think it's funny, Dog?

 

[…..]

Do you still think it's funny, Dog?

No ....I never did take DV to be funny and I do not appreciate you asking in such a condescending manner, as if I ever did think any of this was funny and as if you are somehow educating me.

What's funny to me, is that you created that whole post and applied it to this case as if each instance of DV is eligible for your cookie cutter opinions. You just told the world you are OK prosecuting the Meyer's based on other people's stories.

It's disappointing that you'll grossly generalize this case merely to gain ground in the discussion. Another thing that disappoints me is that you would use other domestic violence victims and thier statements as some kind of mendoza line in judging the Meyer's, when in fact they are not accused of anything other than being indifferent.....and not pursuing the matter to a degree that meets your minimum standards, when you still have no idea the specific interactions they had with the victim.

You telling me about the stories of others, the tendencies of domestic violence offenders, the stigmas attached to victims and thier fears has nothing at all to do with Urban Meyer. Furthermore, ignoring the fact that each case is unique is terribly short sighted on your part and only goes to show how biased you really are in this instance.

I'm not saying Meyer is guilt free here. I'm just saying an awful lot of assumptions are being made and theres blame to be shared amongst the entire community making up this case. You say you see things so clearly, then make the assumtion that the Meyers didnt invite Courtney to stay with them. But well before that invitation wasnt givin, you also assume that the Meyers would have thought the situation serious enough to warrant such an intervention. You're saying to us that the Meyers should have somehow taken actions that undermined the police activity in the case and holding them to a standard that is unrealistic and unfair based on what you really know.

Anyway, despite all that, I suppose it's no different than a large international company that has a security breech and the CEO steps down as a result. In the end, the top guy must assume responsibility and take the fall. Even though there were policies and standard procedures in place, the CEO had knowledge of a weakness and opportunity for failure and since he did not prevent it, he must go. As I said in my ealier thoughts, you and pitch fork wielding John Q public have spoken and are more than willing to display your thirst for ousting the CEO when that energy could be better used finding ways to fix the policies and procedures.

 

[jrry32]

No, Meyer should have taken actions that reflected the man he claims to be and the friends he was supposed to be. His actions don't affect what the police are doing whatsoever. Dog, I explained to you how Meyer could have helped Courtney and why it was significant. If you want to chalk this situation up to being "unique" and argue that the DV survivor's explanation doesn't apply here, there's nothing more I can say. Her explanation is a dead-on ringer for what happened here.

You're right that Meyer didn't break the law. Him and his wife were indifferent despite the values they profess to have. Nobody can prosecute him for that, but Ohio State certainly could have sent a powerful message. They chose not to do so. I don't care to hear the excuses for why the Meyers aren't responsible for their shitty conduct. Urban hasn't changed a bit since his time at Florida.

 

[…..]

No, Meyer should have taken actions that reflected the man he claims to be and the friends he was supposed to be. His actions don't affect what the police are doing whatsoever. Dog, I explained to you how Meyer could have helped Courtney and why it was significant. If you want to chalk this situation up to being "unique" and argue that the DV survivor's explanation doesn't apply here, there's nothing more I can say. Her explanation is a dead-on ringer for what happened here.

You're right that Meyer didn't break the law. Him and his wife were indifferent despite the values they profess to have. Nobody can prosecute him for that, but Ohio State certainly could have sent a powerful message. They chose not to do so. I don't care to hear the excuses for why the Meyers aren't responsible for their crappy conduct. Urban hasn't changed a bit since his time at Florida.

I'm alittle concerned that they didnt get good information, from the wife, or the assistant coach. Her story changed alot, and she dropped charges at one point. Its been bothering me from the beginning. I'm starting to think they thought she was over dramatic, exadurating, chasing down the ex with crazy claims. He even has a pretty good explanation for the cut on her hand. Meyer at the press conference was not happy to have to apologize and he acted victimized himself. Thats why his apology was so awful, he didnt want to apologize, he was forced to do so. I'm starting to think the Meyers got caught up in something they werent expecting.