LEGEND Dumbass of the Day

[Prime Time]

https://deadspin.com/giants-zak-deossie-reported-his-super-bowl-rings-stolen-1826550113

Giants' Zak DeOssie Reported His Super Bowl Rings Stolen, Actually Left Them On Top Of His Car
Samer Kalaf

Last month Zak DeOssie thought his championship rings were purloined, but a police investigation concluded that the Giants long snapper had done what many people have with coffee mugs, briefcases, and other items they forget about while getting into their car.

According to a May 6 police report filed with the Summit (N.J.) Police Department, DeOssie lost his Super Bowl rings for the 2007 and 2011 seasons as he left a charity event at the Grand Summit Hotel on May 2. DeOssie said he briefly set down the box containing his rings so that he could open the door after his wife unlocked the car. When he arrived home, he couldn’t find the box. He checked the hotel’s security camera footage but couldn’t find any sign of the rings in the parking lot.

Although the initial police report was for “theft,” the incident became much less scandalous after the supplementary report, which was also filed with Summit PD. The assigned detective determined from his investigation that DeOssie had actually left the ring box on top of his car when he drove away from the hotel, and that was how Summit resident David Smith found a smashed glass box with one Super Bowl ring on Manor Hill Road near the intersection of Pine Grove Avenue.

I asked DeOssie and his agent whether the other ring had turned up, but didn’t receive a reply. That 2007 ring is somewhere out there, or possibly in a landfill.

 

[Prime Time]

Video at the link.
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https://www.commercialappeal.com/st...rged-transporting-kids-dog-kennels/689124002/

Grandmother charged with transporting kids in dog kennels
Marc Perrusquia, The Commercial Appeal

(Photo: Shelby County Sheriff's Office)

In a surreal scene that could have been choreographed by a Hollywood comedy writer, a woman opens the back of a Ford Explorer and helps a young girl exit — from a small pet kennel where she'd been latched in.

Only this is no joke.

The woman in the viral video, Leimome Cheeks, 62, was charged Sunday with two counts of child endangerment after a bystander recorded her letting her two grandchildren out from pet kennels in a vehicle.

According to police reports, Cheeks drove the kennel-bound kids, an 8-year-old and a 7-year-old, for miles around Memphis on Saturday.

"Leimome Cheeks was interviewed and admitted to riding from Whitehaven to Collierville with the children in the kennel,'' a police affidavit says. "Cheeks further advised they also drove downtown, however she checked on the children periodically and later removed them from the kennel and put them in the rear seats of her her vehicle.''

According the the affidavit, Cheeks said "there was no room inside the vehicle earlier in the day,'' so she "told them to get inside the kennel.''

The report notes the temperature "reached 95 degrees and there were no vents in the rear of the Ford Explorer.''

Cheeks posted a $100 bond and was released Sunday. She will be in court Monday for an arraignment hearing on the charges.

Tennessee Department of Children's Services spokesman Rob Johnson said in an email Monday, "DCS is now involved and investigating,"

The Commercial Appeal has obtained a copy of the video. In it, a girl climbs out of a kennel from the back of Ford Explorer that appears to be parked in front of the Graceland mansion in Whitehaven.

 

[Dodgersrf]

Video at the link.
******************************
https://www.commercialappeal.com/st...rged-transporting-kids-dog-kennels/689124002/

Grandmother charged with transporting kids in dog kennels
Marc Perrusquia, The Commercial Appeal

(Photo: Shelby County Sheriff's Office)

In a surreal scene that could have been choreographed by a Hollywood comedy writer, a woman opens the back of a Ford Explorer and helps a young girl exit — from a small pet kennel where she'd been latched in.

Only this is no joke.

The woman in the viral video, Leimome Cheeks, 62, was charged Sunday with two counts of child endangerment after a bystander recorded her letting her two grandchildren out from pet kennels in a vehicle.

According to police reports, Cheeks drove the kennel-bound kids, an 8-year-old and a 7-year-old, for miles around Memphis on Saturday.

"Leimome Cheeks was interviewed and admitted to riding from Whitehaven to Collierville with the children in the kennel,'' a police affidavit says. "Cheeks further advised they also drove downtown, however she checked on the children periodically and later removed them from the kennel and put them in the rear seats of her her vehicle.''

According the the affidavit, Cheeks said "there was no room inside the vehicle earlier in the day,'' so she "told them to get inside the kennel.''

The report notes the temperature "reached 95 degrees and there were no vents in the rear of the Ford Explorer.''

Cheeks posted a $100 bond and was released Sunday. She will be in court Monday for an arraignment hearing on the charges.

Tennessee Department of Children's Services spokesman Rob Johnson said in an email Monday, "DCS is now involved and investigating,"

The Commercial Appeal has obtained a copy of the video. In it, a girl climbs out of a kennel from the back of Ford Explorer that appears to be parked in front of the Graceland mansion in Whitehaven.

Wtf.

 

[Farr Be It]

View: https://twitter.com/LacesOutShow/status/1004819748574638082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.12up.com%2Fposts%2F6083531-you-can-totally-see-legarrette-blount-s-junk-in-his-new-lions

Meat gazers.

 

[Prime Time]

http://www.chicagotribune.com/enter...-bachelorette-clay-harbor-20180611-story.html

NFL player from Illinois injured in football game on 'The Bachelorette'
Tracy Swartz

Contestants Blake Horstmann (from left) and Clay Harbor spend time with "The Bachelorette" star Becca Kufrin during a group date. (Paul Hebert / ABC)

NFL journeyman Clay Harbor scored a group date rose and a trip to the emergency room after he was injured playing football on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Harbor — who was born in Libertyville and raised in downstate Dwight — hurt his wrist on the last play of the game between his fellow contestants during a group date with star Becca Kufrin.

“Got hurt playing football on ‘The Bachelorette.’ That’s pretty funny. You know, I was in a vulnerable state. And you know, Becca taking care of me made me feel special and connected to her,” said Harbor, who was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2010 and is now a free agent.

Harbor, 30, returned to “The Bachelorette” mansion with his arm in a sling. He and Kufrin ended up kissing, and she gave him a rose so he could advance to the next round.

Calling it the hardest decision of his life, Harbor eliminated himself from the competition the following night so he could have surgery. Harbor said he needs to be able to play football to support his family. He was shown dining with his family at home in Naperville earlier in the season.

 

[Force16X]

http://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world/exhaust-ing-ordeal-woman-gets-head-stuck-in-tailpipe/1238350009


View: https://www.facebook.com/will.little.547/videos/1158873090919807/?t=0

 

[Prime Time]

Florida strikes again.
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http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/dumbass/man-seeks-meth-test-563914

Man Arrested After Bringing Meth To Police Station To Have It Tested By Cops

A man concerned that he had been rooked by a methamphetamine dealer contacted Florida police and asked them to test his drugs and “press charges” against the dealer if he had “been given the wrong narcotics,” according to an arrest report.

On Tuesday afternoon, Douglas Peter Kelly, 49, called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office and told a deputy that he had a “violent reaction” after smoking what he thought was “speed.” Kelly told cops that he believed that the drug in question was actually Flakka, the notorious synthetic stimulant.

After speaking with cops, Kelly drove to the sheriff’s office "because he wished to have the illegal narcotics tested." Kelly subsequently provided cops with a piece of aluminum foil that contained a “clear, crystal-like substance.”

A field test of the substance provided by Kelly resulted in a “positive reaction for the presence of methamphetamine,” police reported. While perhaps relieved that his dealer was not cheating him, Kelly’s mood likely changed when police arrested him on a felony narcotics possession charge.

Seen above, Kelly was booked into the county jail, from which he was released last night after posting $2500 bond.

 

[Dodgersrf]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle...nt-go-well/ar-AAyHNv3?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=U508DHP

Don't try this at home: Someone parked in front of a fire hydrant and things didn't go well
sheller@thisisinsider.com (Susanna Heller)
5 hrs ago


One of the first lessons in driver's ed is pretty simple: don't park in front of a fire hydrant. In fact, in many places, it is illegal to park within 15 feet of a fire hydrant.

But what would happen if you decided to tempt fate and park close to one anyway? Well, one driver in New Jersey (where else?) found out the hard way.

On Wednesday night, firefighters responding to call in Hamilton, New Jersey, had to work around a car that was parked too close to the hydrant. The result was equally horrifying and amusing.

"This is what happens when you park in front of a hydrant. This was taken last night at the fire on Norway Avenue in the Bromley section of Hamilton. Reminder, it is against the law to park in front of a fire hydrant," the moderator for the Facebook page captioned the truly iconic photo.

In New Jersey, drivers need to leave 10 feet of space on either side of a fire hydrant — and this is why.

© Provided by Business Insider Inc car2
Due to the car's proximity to the hydrant, firefighters had to break the windows of the Acura (pictured above) to help the hose reach the flames.

District 3 Fire Chief Steven Kraemer told NJ.com that the fire was pretty routine and there were no injuries. Responders quelled the one-alarm blaze within 20 minutes.

Of course, the Acura, and likely the driver's ego, are pretty damaged — but that's nothing a good mechanic can't fix.

 

[Force16X]

AND IN FLORIDA :http://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world...hugged-can-of-beer-during-dui-stop/1241959519

 

[Prime Time]

View: https://twitter.com/Jadenfootball21/status/1008183877410537473?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fbleacherreport.com%2Fnfl

 

[Riverumbbq]

Man who thought he was wearing 'stab-proof' vest dies after stabbing himself

By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Jordan Easton, 22, reportedly died in August 2017 after he stabbed himself thinking he was wearing a "stab-proof vest." (Facebook)

A British man who believed he was wearing a "stab-proof vest" died last summer after he took a knife to his own chest, local newspaper Teesside Gazette reported Saturday, citing an investigation into his death.

Jordan Easton, 22, of Thornaby, reportedly was in a friend's kitchen on Aug. 23, 2017, when he stabbed himself.

"While in the kitchen, he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realized it wasn’t the case," assistant coroner Karin Welsh said during a court hearing.

Jordan Easton was in a friend's kitchen when "he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realized it wasn’t the case," assistant coroner Karin Welsh said. (Facebook)

Easton reportedly was rushed to the hospital, where he died.

The newspaper reported that while his injuries were self-inflicted, there was no evidence that proved Easton purposely tried to harm himself.

POLICE: STABBING BEGAN WITH HOT SAUCE SQUIRTING INCIDENT

The man's mother, Alison Price, said in court that Easton stabbing himself was "out of character," and added she "can't absorb it."

Friends described Easton, who had just turned 22 five days earlier, as a "one of a kind kid" with a "golden heart."

The 22-year-old's death was ruled a "misadventure." The assistant coroner said that means he died from consequences which were not intended.

Easton's death was ruled a "misadventure," which Welsh said meant he victim died from consequences which were not intended.

"It seems clear that's the situation with Jordan," she said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/0...b-proof-vest-dies-after-stabbing-himself.html

 

[1maGoh]

Man who thought he was wearing 'stab-proof' vest dies after stabbing himself

By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Jordan Easton, 22, reportedly died in August 2017 after he stabbed himself thinking he was wearing a "stab-proof vest." (Facebook)

A British man who believed he was wearing a "stab-proof vest" died last summer after he took a knife to his own chest, local newspaper Teesside Gazette reported Saturday, citing an investigation into his death.

Jordan Easton, 22, of Thornaby, reportedly was in a friend's kitchen on Aug. 23, 2017, when he stabbed himself.

"While in the kitchen, he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realized it wasn’t the case," assistant coroner Karin Welsh said during a court hearing.

Jordan Easton was in a friend's kitchen when "he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realized it wasn’t the case," assistant coroner Karin Welsh said. (Facebook)

Easton reportedly was rushed to the hospital, where he died.

The newspaper reported that while his injuries were self-inflicted, there was no evidence that proved Easton purposely tried to harm himself.

POLICE: STABBING BEGAN WITH HOT SAUCE SQUIRTING INCIDENT

The man's mother, Alison Price, said in court that Easton stabbing himself was "out of character," and added she "can't absorb it."

Friends described Easton, who had just turned 22 five days earlier, as a "one of a kind kid" with a "golden heart."

The 22-year-old's death was ruled a "misadventure." The assistant coroner said that means he died from consequences which were not intended.

Easton's death was ruled a "misadventure," which Welsh said meant he victim died from consequences which were not intended.

"It seems clear that's the situation with Jordan," she said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/0...b-proof-vest-dies-after-stabbing-himself.html

I'm really curious what the vest looked like so I know how much of a dumb ass he was.

 

[Prime Time]

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/montana-machete-assault-295730

Woman Forced Ex To Have Sex At Machete-Point

But your honor, I'm really "crazy" about that guy

A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”

The victim told police that he complied with Mears “for fear of his safety,” adding that he “did not feel he could leave the room at that time without being hurt by Mears.”

Investigators charge that after Mears removed her pants, she climbed atop the victim “and they engaged in intercourse.” The victim said that Mears--who was holding the machete--bit him on the arm and “continued to have sex with him after he attempted to end” the encounter.

“After the intercourse, Mears sat on the bed, still armed with the machete, with her back against the wall,” the complaint notes. It was during this time that the victim took several photos of Mears “with the machete in her hand.” The man, who provided the images to police, had a bite mark on his arm when later interviewed by cops.

After surreptitiously calling 911, the man backed out of the bedroom and escaped his residence.

Pictured above, Mears has been charged with aggravated burglary and assault with a weapon, both felonies. She also faces misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief, assault, and unlawful restraint.

Mears is locked up in lieu of $50,000 bond at the Cascade County jail.

 

[Prime Time]

Florida says "Don't forget about us dumbasses."
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View: https://twitter.com/danimidah/status/1011040998753996800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmiami.cbslocal.com%2F2018%2F06%2F25%2Fman-seen-on-hood-of-car-on-i-95%2F

 

[Farr Be It]

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/montana-machete-assault-295730

Woman Forced Ex To Have Sex At Machete-Point

But your honor, I'm really "crazy" about that guy

A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”

The victim told police that he complied with Mears “for fear of his safety,” adding that he “did not feel he could leave the room at that time without being hurt by Mears.”

Investigators charge that after Mears removed her pants, she climbed atop the victim “and they engaged in intercourse.” The victim said that Mears--who was holding the machete--bit him on the arm and “continued to have sex with him after he attempted to end” the encounter.

“After the intercourse, Mears sat on the bed, still armed with the machete, with her back against the wall,” the complaint notes. It was during this time that the victim took several photos of Mears “with the machete in her hand.” The man, who provided the images to police, had a bite mark on his arm when later interviewed by cops.

After surreptitiously calling 911, the man backed out of the bedroom and escaped his residence.

Pictured above, Mears has been charged with aggravated burglary and assault with a weapon, both felonies. She also faces misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief, assault, and unlawful restraint.

Mears is locked up in lieu of $50,000 bond at the Cascade County jail.

I call BS on this one.

 

[1maGoh]

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/montana-machete-assault-295730

Woman Forced Ex To Have Sex At Machete-Point

But your honor, I'm really "crazy" about that guy

A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”

The victim told police that he complied with Mears “for fear of his safety,” adding that he “did not feel he could leave the room at that time without being hurt by Mears.”

Investigators charge that after Mears removed her pants, she climbed atop the victim “and they engaged in intercourse.” The victim said that Mears--who was holding the machete--bit him on the arm and “continued to have sex with him after he attempted to end” the encounter.

“After the intercourse, Mears sat on the bed, still armed with the machete, with her back against the wall,” the complaint notes. It was during this time that the victim took several photos of Mears “with the machete in her hand.” The man, who provided the images to police, had a bite mark on his arm when later interviewed by cops.

After surreptitiously calling 911, the man backed out of the bedroom and escaped his residence.

Pictured above, Mears has been charged with aggravated burglary and assault with a weapon, both felonies. She also faces misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief, assault, and unlawful restraint.

Mears is locked up in lieu of $50,000 bond at the Cascade County jail.

Interesting that she's not being charged with any sex based crimes. Even if he didn't get hard the whole time and she just rubbed on him, that's still some kind of sexual assault.

 

[Memento]

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/montana-machete-assault-295730

Woman Forced Ex To Have Sex At Machete-Point

But your honor, I'm really "crazy" about that guy

A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”

The victim told police that he complied with Mears “for fear of his safety,” adding that he “did not feel he could leave the room at that time without being hurt by Mears.”

Investigators charge that after Mears removed her pants, she climbed atop the victim “and they engaged in intercourse.” The victim said that Mears--who was holding the machete--bit him on the arm and “continued to have sex with him after he attempted to end” the encounter.

“After the intercourse, Mears sat on the bed, still armed with the machete, with her back against the wall,” the complaint notes. It was during this time that the victim took several photos of Mears “with the machete in her hand.” The man, who provided the images to police, had a bite mark on his arm when later interviewed by cops.

After surreptitiously calling 911, the man backed out of the bedroom and escaped his residence.

Pictured above, Mears has been charged with aggravated burglary and assault with a weapon, both felonies. She also faces misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief, assault, and unlawful restraint.

Mears is locked up in lieu of $50,000 bond at the Cascade County jail.

How is she not being charged with rape? Forced sexual encounter, he said "no", and she did it anyway. That's the very definition of rape.

 

[Farr Be It]

How is she not being charged with rape? Forced sexual encounter, he said "no", and she did it anyway. That's the very definition of rape.

Guys,guys. Why are we speculating about the charge? This story is BS. He "took a picture of her holding the machete". Yeah. legit.

 

[Memento]

Guys,guys. Why are we speculating about the charge? This story is BS. He "took a picture of her holding the machete". Yeah. legit.

Why do you think it's bullshit? She could've easily not noticed him taking a picture. He also called 911 on the phone. Do you think that's bullshit as well?

Don't you agree that if the story is true - which is likely, because investigators were called in - she should be charged with rape?

 

[Farr Be It]

Why do you think it's bullcrap? She could've easily not noticed him taking a picture. He also called 911 on the phone. Do you think that's bullcrap as well?

Don't you agree that if the story is true - which is likely, because investigators were called in - she should be charged with rape?

She probably would have cut off his nuts, but he didn't have any. And though she would be an awfully persuasive Cutco saleswoman, I'm not a huge fan of her pressure sales technique.

Edit: All kidding aside Jemma, I’d wait for the other shoe to drop.