LEGEND Dumbass of the Day

[Prime Time]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/subway-moneybag-robber-busted-897542

Cops: Robber Carried Bag With Dollar Sign
Subway restaurant heist appears torn from pages of a comic book

APRIL 10--When David Eli Lingafelter was arrested Wednesday for the robbery of a Subway restaurant in Olympia, Washington, he was carrying a

white canvas bag with a large, handwritten dollar sign on it, police report.

The bag--not unlike those seen in the hands of crooks in comics and cartoons--was tied to the front of Lingafelter’s pants when police nabbed the 20-year-old shortly after the sandwich shop heist.

Police allege that Lingafelter entered the Subway wearing a white hat and a red bandana over his face, adding that he “reached into his pocket as if he had a weapon.” After directing a female employee to open the cash register and place her hands on her head, Lingafelter swiped $100 and the worker’s cell phone.

While committing the robbery, Lingafelter warned the Subway employee not to “do anything funny,” police reported.

Lingafelter was later apprehended hiding behind a dumpster at a nearby shopping

center. A police search of the suspect turned up a knife, $100 in cash, and a phone matching the description of the one stolen from the Subway worker.

Additionally, investigators noted, Lingafelter “also had a white canvas bag tied to the front of his pants that had a dollar sign printed on it.” As seen above, police photographed Lingafelter with the bag at his waist (and also took a closeup shot of the item).

Lingafelter was booked on robbery and obstruction charges.

 

[Selassie I]

People never cease to amaze me with their brilliance.

 

[RamFan503]

What the story leaves out is that he was apprehended after an anvil fell from the sky knocking him unconscious and putting an enormous bump on his head.

 

[Dodgersrf]

Too funny. What a dip shit.

 

[bluecoconuts]

Wow, all for a whole 100 dollars, totally worth it.

 

[RAMSinLA]

What the story leaves out is that he was apprehended after an anvil fell from the sky knocking him unconscious and putting an enormous bump on his head.

and when he sat up witnesses claimed to have seen little birds and stars encircling his head...

 

[RamFan503]

Wow, all for a whole 100 dollars, totally worth it.

Right? Probably couldn't get the money from his mom to buy a video game.

 

[Prime Time]

And the next nominee for Dumbass of the Day is:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...ed-silicone-injections-big-struggles-sex.html

The man with the HALF-STONE penis: 45-year-old who enlarged himself with silicone injections is now so big he struggles to have sex

• Micha Stunz, has enhanced his penis with several silicone injections

• It is 9 inches long, 3.5 inches wide and weighs up to 9.5lbs (4.3kg), he says

• The size of his manhood makes sex difficult, although it is not impossible

• He worries that future partners might only love him for his body

A German man who had his penis enlarged with silicone injections claims it now weighs half a stone.

Micha Stunz, has a 9 inch-long, 3.5 inch penis that now weighs between 7.5 – 9.5lbs, between 3 and 4.3kg, he says.

‘I can’t say exactly how much it weighs, I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6lb, hasn’t been enough for a while,’ he told Vice.com.

Mr Stunz, 45, who lives in Berlin, said he had his penis permanently enlarged in this way, not because it makes him feel more beautiful, but because it makes him feel ‘better’.

Curiously, the silicone implants provide no physical pleasure and actually make sex much more difficult for him - although it is not impossible.

He cannot get a normal erection – and any increase in size is not visible due to all the silicone.

But although his giant penis restricts his sex life, he says it makes him more creative in the bedroom.

He told Vice journalist Frederik Busch: ‘After you reach a certain size, you can't do certain things any more.

‘At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and ideas about sex and be ready to play.’

Mr Stunz’s interest in penis modification 20 years ago, when he was given a pump as a present.

‘I was way too curious not to try it out. First, I tried it secretly for myself,’ he said.

‘And I found that when I went out pumped up, it was a good feeling, it felt great.’


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-GLO_PydqU


‘I had the feeling that I wasn't trapped in the body I was born with, but that I had the possibility to shape it myself to change it.’

He then began enlarging himself with saline injections.

‘The feeling was great,’ he said, ‘but I didn't like getting the injections- there's always a risk of infection.

‘And also the people around me started to wonder why my groin area would change in size.

‘That's why I started looking for something more permanent.’

It took him several years to find out about silicone injections, which were only available in London when he first began researching them.

However, rather than seeking professional medical help, he met a medical student who agreed to perform the first injections.

To date, Mr Stunz has had four procedures which involved injecting silicone into his penis and scrotum.

However, Dr Aref el Seweife, a urologist in Berlin who carries out penis enlargements, warns that an injecting silicon into the penis can lead to an infection that will leave it ‘mutilated’.

‘In worst cases, it can lead to an enlarged artery in the scrotum and the testicles die,’ he told Vice journalists, urging people who opt for the procedure to have it done by a medical professional.

In fact, a 2012 study in the Urology Annals, said: ‘We conclude that penile enhancement procedures with liquid silicone by non-medical personnel could result in devastating consequences.’

Mr Stunz accepts this advice, and agrees that others thinking of having their penis enlarged with silicone should make sure they are fully informed.

While his situation might seem extreme, he claims he leads a ‘normal life’.

He said: ‘I go to work, buy groceries, go to bars, clubs, and to the movies. I usually try to make sure it isn't too obvious. But I guess it isn't easy buying a new pair of pants.’

He also prefers to urinate sitting down in a cubicle as he attracts odd looks when using urinals.

While sometimes he says he is pleased to get so much attention, at other points he hides his modesty.

He uses a satchel bag to ‘hide his bulge’ and refrains from telling some people in his life about his physical appearance.

‘There are definitely situations when I say “the other person doesn’t need to know right now”. When it’s the boss or all the extended relations, then I’ll tell a white lie.

‘I’m actually a pretty shy person,’ he explains, while leather-clad at a bondage festival.

Indeed, one of his favourite events of the year is The Folsom Europe Festival – a bondage, fetish and latex affair in Berlin.

When he attends the carnival, he wears a specially-made pair of latex pants to show off his huge penis.

Speaking of why he loves the event, he said: ‘You can offer up who you are and show yourself the way you want without having to think about what other people will think of you.’

He sometimes worries that potential partners are only interested in him for his manhood.

He said: ‘You get reduced to the bulge obviously. There’s always that danger in the relationship.

‘But if you take the time to get to know the other person, you find out whether he really loves you or just a part of you.’

Ultimately, Mr Stunz believed the interest in his penis modification belies deep-rooted sexism.

‘If some woman gets breast enlargements, nobody says anything about it,’ he said.

‘If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a documentary about it because it’s so extraordinary.

‘I hope that changes soon because the difference really isn’t that big.’

 

[RAMSinLA]

And the next nominee for Dumbass of the Day is:

Wow! I think I would change that to Dumbass of the Decade...

 

[LazyWinker]

Dangit @Prime Time now I feel nauseous.

 

[Mojo Ram]

 

[RamFan503]

And the next nominee for Dumbass of the Day is:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...ed-silicone-injections-big-struggles-sex.html

The man with the HALF-STONE penis: 45-year-old who enlarged himself with silicone injections is now so big he struggles to have sex

• Micha Stunz, has enhanced his penis with several silicone injections

• It is 9 inches long, 3.5 inches wide and weighs up to 9.5lbs (4.3kg), he says

• The size of his manhood makes sex difficult, although it is not impossible

• He worries that future partners might only love him for his body

A German man who had his penis enlarged with silicone injections claims it now weighs half a stone.

Micha Stunz, has a 9 inch-long, 3.5 inch penis that now weighs between 7.5 – 9.5lbs, between 3 and 4.3kg, he says.

‘I can’t say exactly how much it weighs, I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6lb, hasn’t been enough for a while,’ he told Vice.com.

Mr Stunz, 45, who lives in Berlin, said he had his penis permanently enlarged in this way, not because it makes him feel more beautiful, but because it makes him feel ‘better’.

Curiously, the silicone implants provide no physical pleasure and actually make sex much more difficult for him - although it is not impossible.

He cannot get a normal erection – and any increase in size is not visible due to all the silicone.

But although his giant penis restricts his sex life, he says it makes him more creative in the bedroom.

He told Vice journalist Frederik Busch: ‘After you reach a certain size, you can't do certain things any more.

‘At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and ideas about sex and be ready to play.’

Mr Stunz’s interest in penis modification 20 years ago, when he was given a pump as a present.

‘I was way too curious not to try it out. First, I tried it secretly for myself,’ he said.

‘And I found that when I went out pumped up, it was a good feeling, it felt great.’


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-GLO_PydqU


‘I had the feeling that I wasn't trapped in the body I was born with, but that I had the possibility to shape it myself to change it.’

He then began enlarging himself with saline injections.

‘The feeling was great,’ he said, ‘but I didn't like getting the injections- there's always a risk of infection.

‘And also the people around me started to wonder why my groin area would change in size.

‘That's why I started looking for something more permanent.’

It took him several years to find out about silicone injections, which were only available in London when he first began researching them.

However, rather than seeking professional medical help, he met a medical student who agreed to perform the first injections.

To date, Mr Stunz has had four procedures which involved injecting silicone into his penis and scrotum.

However, Dr Aref el Seweife, a urologist in Berlin who carries out penis enlargements, warns that an injecting silicon into the penis can lead to an infection that will leave it ‘mutilated’.

‘In worst cases, it can lead to an enlarged artery in the scrotum and the testicles die,’ he told Vice journalists, urging people who opt for the procedure to have it done by a medical professional.

In fact, a 2012 study in the Urology Annals, said: ‘We conclude that penile enhancement procedures with liquid silicone by non-medical personnel could result in devastating consequences.’

Mr Stunz accepts this advice, and agrees that others thinking of having their penis enlarged with silicone should make sure they are fully informed.

While his situation might seem extreme, he claims he leads a ‘normal life’.

He said: ‘I go to work, buy groceries, go to bars, clubs, and to the movies. I usually try to make sure it isn't too obvious. But I guess it isn't easy buying a new pair of pants.’

He also prefers to urinate sitting down in a cubicle as he attracts odd looks when using urinals.

While sometimes he says he is pleased to get so much attention, at other points he hides his modesty.

He uses a satchel bag to ‘hide his bulge’ and refrains from telling some people in his life about his physical appearance.

‘There are definitely situations when I say “the other person doesn’t need to know right now”. When it’s the boss or all the extended relations, then I’ll tell a white lie.

‘I’m actually a pretty shy person,’ he explains, while leather-clad at a bondage festival.

Indeed, one of his favourite events of the year is The Folsom Europe Festival – a bondage, fetish and latex affair in Berlin.

When he attends the carnival, he wears a specially-made pair of latex pants to show off his huge penis.

Speaking of why he loves the event, he said: ‘You can offer up who you are and show yourself the way you want without having to think about what other people will think of you.’

He sometimes worries that potential partners are only interested in him for his manhood.

He said: ‘You get reduced to the bulge obviously. There’s always that danger in the relationship.

‘But if you take the time to get to know the other person, you find out whether he really loves you or just a part of you.’

Ultimately, Mr Stunz believed the interest in his penis modification belies deep-rooted sexism.

‘If some woman gets breast enlargements, nobody says anything about it,’ he said.

‘If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a documentary about it because it’s so extraordinary.

‘I hope that changes soon because the difference really isn’t that big.’

Funny... My wife was just telling me about this. She made the comment that who the he'll would want to be with someone if you had to have an episiotomy (sp?) afterwards. :eek:

 

[RamFan503]

Comment at end of inside quote box. On my phone so I can't try unblinking quote code. THAT'S what I'm talking about.

 

[Prime Time]

http://stupid-people.net/

 

[Dodgersrf]

You're working hard today Prime Time.
Crazy stuff.

 

[jsimcox]

Dumbass-ception. A dumbass within a dumbass...?

 

[Prime Time]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq8usX3CKGM


http://cw39.com/2015/04/09/man-arrested-for-pointing-laser-beam-at-cars-police-find-pot-in-his-butt/




ORMOND BEACH, FL – A man in Florida was arrested for pointing a laser beam at cars, but that’s not even the worst part of his trouble.

Police in Ormond Beach, Florida arrested 27-year-old Jesse Roepcke for the laser beam incident. Jesse told the cops he was just having fun and didn’t know blinding people behind the wheel was illegal. When Jesse was booked, officers searched him and were in for a surprise when a bag of weed fell out from his rear end. Jesse reportedly had 18 grams of marijuana stuffed in there.

 

[RamFan503]

ORMOND BEACH, FL – When Jesse was booked, officers searched him and were in for a surprise when a bag of weed fell out from his rear end. Jesse reportedly had 18 grams of marijuana stuffed in there.

In his defense, that's just where he normally keeps it. He wasn't trying to hide it.

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

That guy with the enormous package also put silicone in his biceps. Look at them in the photo. They are oddly shaped.

He also says, "But if you take the time to get to know the other person, you find out whether he really loves you, or just a part of you."

That takes this to a 'hole' new level, ouch!

 

[Memento]

Dumbass-ception. A dumbass within a dumbass...?
View attachment 5928

...I'm shocked that this guy even knows how to spell "Pluto."