I just want to respond to some of your points but only quoting this..
It's the Rams choice to negotiate with Donald, but the here are the issues as I see them:
You risk alienating Donald - your points are valid in that there's not much he could do if the Rams went the no raise/franchise/franchise tag route - but there's a reason why this tactic alienates players - they're human beings. This would assuredly upset Donald, and the most likely negative result of this is that other players will see how we're treating him and it will impact our future roster.
NFL players, by and large, realize that this is a business. For what it's worth, the no raise/franchise/franchise option is leverage and shouldn't be considered a realistic actual outcome - it almost never happens, Cousins notwithstanding. But it cannot be off the table in a negotiation; the Rams have leverage, their goal is to extend Donald at a rate that is both rewarding to him and in the best financial interests of the team, so it has to remain an option.
I am actually not opposed to trading Donald - I don't believe any team will ever win a super bowl with a defensive tackle paid like that - but the Rams HAD to know that he wouldn't want to negotiate too much - it's pretty simple if I'm Donald - make me the highest paid defensive player in NFL history.
If that's Donald's desire, then he is not going to get an extension, IMO. He's not in the driver's seat unless he's actually on the cusp of being a UFA. Hardball by a player is often met with hardball by his team, which is why I've harped on and on about the Rams having more leverage, and thus if they play it right, the ability to come to a contract that is mutually beneficial. "Highest paid defensive player ever" is not beneficial to the Rams, so if he's playing full-on hardball with that as his demand, then you're right - either a trade or the dreaded no raise/franchise/franchise may be the only logical outcome.
And keep in mind that the Patriots can afford to play hardball with players because of Tom Brady and their culture. The Patriots in this situation would stand firm on a salary or trade Aaron Donald IMO for a nice draft haul and retool their team. The Rams don't have Tom Brady.
Brady is part of that, but Belichick has run his team like this since long before Tom Brady was TOM BRADY. Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, Mike Vrabel, Richard Seymour - no player has ever been more valuable than the team, and no amount of popularity has been enough to prevent Belichick from sending them off into the wild to find their big contract for themselves.
If anything, Tom Brady's $13 million cap number should make it easier for the Patriots to spend more money on non-QBs. Which they have, for the first time in a very long time, this offseason... it's been weird.
I advocated last season for the Rams to bring in Matt Patricia to run the team, because I think emulating the Patriots is a good idea. Now that McVay is the HC, I believe it would be smart of the Rams to let the man establish his system (offensive and defensive), find players that fit the system, and be willing to jettison players - even great ones - who make more money or cause more headaches than they're worth, even if they are superstars. McVay is a smart guy, and so is Wade Phillips. They have the wherewithal to build a cohesive team that is bigger than any one player, and while Donald should be a part of it, he shouldn't be considered a guy who cannot be "allowed" to get away.
BUT, having said that - it makes sense for the Rams to pay Donald up front money since we don't have a QB at this time. Whether Goff pans out or we draft another (assuming we don't end up with Cousins next year) - we can afford to pay Donald big money while we don't have a highly paid QB on the roster.
I agree with this. I don't think the Rams should pay Donald like a UFA - throwing away the leverage you have because you're afraid to lose one guy is, IMO, the hallmark of a bad front office - but they should front-load a nice new deal that pays him well. Give him something in the neighborhood of what Kawann Short or Fletcher Cox is making but with a higher % of guaranteed money, buy out the two years remaining at a total of $8 million in exchange for an AAV of $17-ish million (rather than chasing record-setting money), and both team and player come out ahead.
Those are some random thoughts all in one post lol
Appreciate the thoughts. This is a good conversation.