LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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Winter is like when your mother-in-law visits

Just won't go away
 

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many may not laugh at this attempted humor, but my place of employment is run by the Netherlands. I understand it.

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My 8 year old grandson says to me, "Grampa, I know why you don't eat pickles" "Oh yeah, why?" I reply. "Because you're head won't fit in the jar". Little smartazz.
 
Mrs. Esposito comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meet the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son,
Anthony

A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving Mama
 
I don't know if I should laugh or fear for the fate of humanity.

 
I don't know if I should laugh or fear for the fate of humanity.



I had a friend Joe in college, who for some reason liked to do flaming shots of everclear. One night he lit the shotglass, but had filled it a little too high, so the flames were more than tickling his nose. He jerked his hand away, and splashed it onto my roommate's homework, igniting it. Panicking, he dropped the rest of the shot onto my dorm room carpet. Fortunately, even though we were slightly intoxicated we managed to put the fire out.

The guy in the video is far stupider than my old friend Joe.