LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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RedRam

Pro Bowler
Joined
Sep 28, 2015
Messages
1,905
The Unacceptable Tax Return

This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return. The IRS has returned the tax return to a man in New York City implying that he answered one of the questions incorrectly.

In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you?” the man wrote:
"7.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack-heads, 4.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, at least 450 idiots in Congress and a group that call themselves politicians."

The IRS stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.

The man's response back to the IRS was…

"Who did I leave out?"
 

RedRam

Pro Bowler
Joined
Sep 28, 2015
Messages
1,905
27750831_2097004910326649_5284377066218498152_n.jpg
 

Force16X

anti pedestrian
Rams On Demand Sponsor
Joined
Jun 19, 2014
Messages
3,314
Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said Betty.

“Bet you $10 he won’t,” replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

“I can’t take your money,” said Betty. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”

“No, no. Take it,” said Amber. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”
 

RamBall

Legend
Camp Reporter
Joined
Sep 3, 2011
Messages
5,729
Name
Dave
The misuse of "your" and "you're" is at epidemic level. Drives me nuts!

It amazes me how bad grammar is even at the corporate level. I'm a High school dropout and have better spelling and grammar than whomever approves the company posters promoting the improper way to lift or how driving a forklift off the dock could be dangerous.
 

Rmfnlt

Rams On Demand Sponsor
Rams On Demand Sponsor
Joined
Jun 3, 2014
Messages
5,342
a 78 year old couple walks into a sex therapist's office.

They ask the doctor to watch them as they have sex. He hesitates at first, but allows it.

They make love and ask him if he saw anything out of the ordinary.

He said "no".

They came back the next week with the same request... and the next week...and the week after that.

Finally, the doctor asks them: "why are you insisting I observe you two having sex every week, when all appears normal?"

The man say:
Well, ya see doc... she's married, so we can't go to her house. And I'm married, so we can't go to my house. The hotel costs $119 per night.

The doc says: "So?"

The woman replies: "Well, coming here, it only costs $50 and we get $35 of it back from medicaid!"
:LOL: