LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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dieterbrock

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Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
23,333
just like the old joke in the 80's..............what kind of wood doesn't float ?? natalie wood, of course.
Or the one that was even worse, What vegetable is illegal to eat? Karen Quinlan of course...
 

snackdaddy

Who's your snackdaddy?
Joined
May 6, 2014
Messages
11,041
Name
Charlie
8f16b1f27d4db959d324df05bbcd592852c828d4af05f6be109fb0b454083bfd_1.jpg
 

CeeZar

Rookie
Joined
Jul 6, 2018
Messages
222
The Genius of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popu, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work
 

RhodyRams

well hung member
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SportsBook Bookie
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Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
11,877
Or one possibly even worse. How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

Her Head n Shoulders washed up on shore.

:hide:
or

Did you ever see Christa McAuliffes blue eyes?

1 blew this way and the other blew that way