CeeZar
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- Jul 6, 2018
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LEGEND Make Us Laugh
- Thread starter Prime Time
- Start date
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snackdaddy
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- May 6, 2014
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- Charlie
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A joke to get me posting....
Every year in Great Brittan they hold a Charitable Event giving out life time achievement award Named after Sir Edmund Hillary (first man to reach the peak of Mount Everest)
This years recipient is Sir Edwards of Scots. He was able to fend off a tiger who attacked his safari group in India at the age of 80.
The MC starts talking about all of Sir Edwards deeds throughout his life...Charitable work with orphans, fighting in both World Wars, and countless other selfless acts.
The MC gets to the story of the Safari and decides it would be best that Sir Edwards to tell the story. The MC calls Sir Edwards up to the podium. At this time Sir Edwards has a walker and slowly makes his way to the podium.
Sir Edwards starts right in, "Well I was in the deep reeds in India when all of the Sudden ROAR!" And stumbles back from the mic.
Sir Edwards calmly leans back into the mic and says, "Oh my Gawd I just shit myself" The crowd starts to laugh and the MC feeling obliged leans in and says, "I would have too if a tiger had attacked me".
Sir Edwards calmly covers the mic and leans towards the MC and says,
"No just now when I yelled ROAR".
Every year in Great Brittan they hold a Charitable Event giving out life time achievement award Named after Sir Edmund Hillary (first man to reach the peak of Mount Everest)
This years recipient is Sir Edwards of Scots. He was able to fend off a tiger who attacked his safari group in India at the age of 80.
The MC starts talking about all of Sir Edwards deeds throughout his life...Charitable work with orphans, fighting in both World Wars, and countless other selfless acts.
The MC gets to the story of the Safari and decides it would be best that Sir Edwards to tell the story. The MC calls Sir Edwards up to the podium. At this time Sir Edwards has a walker and slowly makes his way to the podium.
Sir Edwards starts right in, "Well I was in the deep reeds in India when all of the Sudden ROAR!" And stumbles back from the mic.
Sir Edwards calmly leans back into the mic and says, "Oh my Gawd I just shit myself" The crowd starts to laugh and the MC feeling obliged leans in and says, "I would have too if a tiger had attacked me".
Sir Edwards calmly covers the mic and leans towards the MC and says,
"No just now when I yelled ROAR".
snackdaddy
Who's your snackdaddy?
- Joined
- May 6, 2014
- Messages
- 12,255
- Name
- Charlie
The CIA was hiring for a top secret position. 3 men were the finalists. Ages were 25, 50 and 70. Interviews went as follows:
CIA interviewer with 25 year old: "Everything looks good, You passed all tests. One final phase to this now. Your wife is in the room next door. I want you to take this gun, go in there and shoot her".
25 year old: "I can't do that. We were recently married. We have plans for our whole life".
Interviewer: "Well, sorry but you're not what we're looking for. Next"
Interviewer does the same spiel with the 70 year old:
70 year old: "I couldn't do that. We've been married almost 50 years. We have children and grandchildren. I love her dearly".
Interviewer: "Well, sorry but you're not what we're looking for. Next"
Interviewer does the same spiel with the 50 year old: "Everything looks good, You passed all tests. One final phase to this now. Your wife is in the room next door. I want you to take this gun, go in there and shoot her".
50 year old picks up the gun, shrugs and walks into the room with his wife. Interviewer hears BANG! BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! Then he hears some screaming and shuffling around. The guy walks back in the room, torn clothes, hair messy and some scratches on his face.
Interviewer: "What the hell happened in there?"
50 year old says "Some idiot put blanks in this gun so I had to strangle her!"
CIA interviewer with 25 year old: "Everything looks good, You passed all tests. One final phase to this now. Your wife is in the room next door. I want you to take this gun, go in there and shoot her".
25 year old: "I can't do that. We were recently married. We have plans for our whole life".
Interviewer: "Well, sorry but you're not what we're looking for. Next"
Interviewer does the same spiel with the 70 year old:
70 year old: "I couldn't do that. We've been married almost 50 years. We have children and grandchildren. I love her dearly".
Interviewer: "Well, sorry but you're not what we're looking for. Next"
Interviewer does the same spiel with the 50 year old: "Everything looks good, You passed all tests. One final phase to this now. Your wife is in the room next door. I want you to take this gun, go in there and shoot her".
50 year old picks up the gun, shrugs and walks into the room with his wife. Interviewer hears BANG! BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! Then he hears some screaming and shuffling around. The guy walks back in the room, torn clothes, hair messy and some scratches on his face.
Interviewer: "What the hell happened in there?"
50 year old says "Some idiot put blanks in this gun so I had to strangle her!"
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snackdaddy
Who's your snackdaddy?
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- Charlie
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- Stu
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