LEGEND Dumbass of the Day

[RamBall]

http://www.mlive.com/news/flint/index.ssf/2017/07/man_tries_to_use_fireworks_to.html

GRAND BLANC TOWNSHIP, MI -- A Grand Blanc-area garage was reduced to a pile of ashes this evening after a homeowner attempted to use fireworks to remove a bees' nest from the building, fire officials said.

Fireworks shot into the sky from the burning garage on Monday, July 3, as crews from Grand Blanc, Burton and Mundy Township arrived at the scene on the 6000 block of Grove Avenue in Grand Blanc Township.

Looks like he got rid of the bee hive.

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

I've never heard that before........so I googled it and found these superstitions from the other Muricas, Central and South. They are called "locuras" according to what I read.

1. If you place your purse on the floor, you will lose money.

2. It’s bad luck to have more than one person style your hair at the same time.

3. If you sweep a woman’s feet, she’ll never get married. (I dunno if this is the karate move or just a broom though)

4. An upside down broom behind the door will get rid of unwanted visitors.

5. It’s bad luck to decorate your house with seashells.

6. If you give someone knives as a present, your relationship will die.

7. Aunt Flo’s in town? Then you can’t eat bananas (you’ll hemorrhage), perm or wash your hair (you’ll go crazy) or hold a newborn (he’ll get colic).

8. If you sleep with a dog or cat you’ll become infertile. (I can still get it up though right?)

9. If you cut a child’s hair before he’s one, he’ll never learn to speak.

10. Want more bad luck? Then a hat on your bed should do the trick!

11. If you dream about your teeth falling out while eating, it means someone is going to die. Be careful what your subconscious holds!

12. When you're in a relationship, do not give your man shoes! Because eventually, those are the shoes that he will walk out of your life with.

13. If a child has hiccups, take a string from his mother's clothes and place it on his forehead to cure the ailment!

14. If you hand itches do not scratch it, put it in your pocket. This could mean you have some money coming your way!

15. Always keep a full glass of water on top of the fridge or behind the door, this will help absorb bad spirits and energy in your house.

I was close. It's an upside down broom.. My in-laws may have remembered it wrong.

I have heard the knife one before. Always make the person you gift a knife to, buy it from you for a quarter. Otherwise the friendship will be severed.

12 is very likely. Most relationships are short, so if you gift the boyfriend shoes, he could actually be wearing them while breaking up or cheating.

 

[Prime Time]

Florida again. :mrburns:
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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/pregnant-woman-busted-for-cupcake-battery-638920

Pregnant Woman Arrested For Cupcake Battery

A pregnant Florida woman was arrested for domestic battery after pelting her brother with frosted cupcakes during a 1:45 AM argument Saturday in the family’s Vero Beach residence, police report.

According to cops, Latonya Daugherty, 24, was quarreling with her 30-year-old sibling when the “verbal argument escalated.” Daugherty allegedly “picked up frosted cup cakes and threw them at” Edddie Yaddow.

The cupcakes, an arrest affidavit notes, struck Yaddow in the arm and chest.

Yaddow, investigators say, retaliated by removing frosting off his arms and “wiping it in her hair.”

Yaddow also allegedly kicked Daugherty in the stomach.

In an interview with police, Daugherty’s mother described her daughter as the “initial primary aggressor as she threw cupcakes.” But Yaddow’s reaction, cops concluded, “exceeded a reasonable response in self defense,” prompting officers to arrest him for aggravated battery.

Daugherty--who told police that she was about four to six weeks pregnant--was released from jail Saturday evening after posting $1000 bond. Yaddow remains locked up in lieu of $10,000 bond on the felony battery charge.

While police took note of the blue frosting in Daugherty’s hair, the cupcakes themselves were not collected as evidence.

 

[Prime Time]

Seriously, who sleeps for 5 hours while a bear ransacks their home? :mrburns:
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http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07...five-hours-while-family-sleeps/7211499257542/

Bear ransacks home for five hours while family sleeps
By Ben Hooper

Screenshot: Chris O'Dubhraic/Facebook

A Colorado man shared home security camera footage of a home-invading bear trashing his house for more than five hours while he and his family slept inside.

Chris Odubhraic of Colorado Springs posted photos and videos to Facebookshowing the bear that broke into his family's home late Monday night and stayed for more than five hours.

Odubhraic said he woke up about 5:30 a.m. Tuesday and discovered his house had been ransacked. He reviewed the security camera footage and discovered the expected "burglar" had actually been a bear that spent about five hours inside the house, leaving at about 4:30 a.m.

The homeowner said the bear entered through a window that had been left partially open, ripped off the kitchen door, ransacked the kitchen in the search for food, and even peeked into the family's bedrooms while they were asleep.

Click link below to watch video

View: https://www.facebook.com/CJODubhraic/posts/1466616556714509

 

[bnw]

Seriously, who sleeps for 5 hours while a bear ransacks their home? :mrburns:
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http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07...five-hours-while-family-sleeps/7211499257542/

Bear ransacks home for five hours while family sleeps
By Ben Hooper

Screenshot: Chris O'Dubhraic/Facebook

A Colorado man shared home security camera footage of a home-invading bear trashing his house for more than five hours while he and his family slept inside.

Chris Odubhraic of Colorado Springs posted photos and videos to Facebookshowing the bear that broke into his family's home late Monday night and stayed for more than five hours.

Odubhraic said he woke up about 5:30 a.m. Tuesday and discovered his house had been ransacked. He reviewed the security camera footage and discovered the expected "burglar" had actually been a bear that spent about five hours inside the house, leaving at about 4:30 a.m.

The homeowner said the bear entered through a window that had been left partially open, ripped off the kitchen door, ransacked the kitchen in the search for food, and even peeked into the family's bedrooms while they were asleep.

Click link below to watch video

View: https://www.facebook.com/CJODubhraic/posts/1466616556714509

If you sleep through a bear ripping your house apart while your alarm is sounding......paying for a burglar/fire/smoke alarm is a dumbass move.

 

[Prime Time]

Hey, that looks like a small 14 mm wrench. How embarrassed are you dumbass?
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http://shanghaiist.com/2017/06/07/penis-wrench.php

Man gets penis stuck in wrench for 17 hours, dentists delicately drill it off
BY ALEX LINDER IN NEWS

A Zhejiang man arrived at a hospital late one night last week with his swollen penis stuck inside a wrench, leaving both doctors and firefighters at a loss for what to do. Fortunately, dentists knew just the thing to free his manhood.

The 37-year-old man was brought into the hospital in Linhai city at 9:30 p.m. on June 2nd with his penis turning purple after being trapped inside the wrench for over 15 hours, China Youth Network reports. Immediately, the hospital convened an emergency meeting among specialists to figure out a suitable plan of action.

Doctors decided that in order to release the wrench from the man's penis, they would have to cut off blood flow to his genitals through surgery. In order to carry out the operation, doctors needed the permission of the man's family. They made multiple calls to the man's parents, who said that they would come in to sign over their consent, but never showed.

So doctors went on to plan B and reached out to the local firefighting squad, who are typically so adept at dealing with this sort of thing. However, after closely inspecting the situation, the firefighters were also at a loss as to how to remove the wrench without seriously injuring the man.

Luckily, it was at this point that one doctor suggested that they call in some dentists, explaining that earlier that afternoon she had listened to a lecture regarding a similar case. Two dentists soon showed up and went to work with a dental drill that spins extremely fast, but uses water to keep itself cool, preventing the man's genitals from getting burned.

Following a delicate 30-minute operation, the dentists successfully cut through the wrench and freed the poor guy's manhood after it had been trapped for some 17 hours in total.

Reports fail to state how exactly the wrench got on there in the first place, though it is mentioned that the man is a bachelor.

 

[Memento]

Hey, that looks like a small 14 mm wrench. How embarrassed are you dumbass?
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http://shanghaiist.com/2017/06/07/penis-wrench.php

Man gets penis stuck in wrench for 17 hours, dentists delicately drill it off
BY ALEX LINDER IN NEWS

A Zhejiang man arrived at a hospital late one night last week with his swollen penis stuck inside a wrench, leaving both doctors and firefighters at a loss for what to do. Fortunately, dentists knew just the thing to free his manhood.

The 37-year-old man was brought into the hospital in Linhai city at 9:30 p.m. on June 2nd with his penis turning purple after being trapped inside the wrench for over 15 hours, China Youth Network reports. Immediately, the hospital convened an emergency meeting among specialists to figure out a suitable plan of action.

Doctors decided that in order to release the wrench from the man's penis, they would have to cut off blood flow to his genitals through surgery. In order to carry out the operation, doctors needed the permission of the man's family. They made multiple calls to the man's parents, who said that they would come in to sign over their consent, but never showed.

So doctors went on to plan B and reached out to the local firefighting squad, who are typically so adept at dealing with this sort of thing. However, after closely inspecting the situation, the firefighters were also at a loss as to how to remove the wrench without seriously injuring the man.

Luckily, it was at this point that one doctor suggested that they call in some dentists, explaining that earlier that afternoon she had listened to a lecture regarding a similar case. Two dentists soon showed up and went to work with a dental drill that spins extremely fast, but uses water to keep itself cool, preventing the man's genitals from getting burned.

Following a delicate 30-minute operation, the dentists successfully cut through the wrench and freed the poor guy's manhood after it had been trapped for some 17 hours in total.

Reports fail to state how exactly the wrench got on there in the first place, though it is mentioned that the man is a bachelor.

Hopefully he's rendered impotent. That's the exact kind of idiot who should never pass down his genes.

 

[RedRam]

Hey, that looks like a small 14 mm wrench. How embarrassed are you dumbass?
******************************************************************************

http://shanghaiist.com/2017/06/07/penis-wrench.php

Man gets penis stuck in wrench for 17 hours, dentists delicately drill it off
BY ALEX LINDER IN NEWS

A Zhejiang man arrived at a hospital late one night last week with his swollen penis stuck inside a wrench, leaving both doctors and firefighters at a loss for what to do. Fortunately, dentists knew just the thing to free his manhood.

The 37-year-old man was brought into the hospital in Linhai city at 9:30 p.m. on June 2nd with his penis turning purple after being trapped inside the wrench for over 15 hours, China Youth Network reports. Immediately, the hospital convened an emergency meeting among specialists to figure out a suitable plan of action.

Doctors decided that in order to release the wrench from the man's penis, they would have to cut off blood flow to his genitals through surgery. In order to carry out the operation, doctors needed the permission of the man's family. They made multiple calls to the man's parents, who said that they would come in to sign over their consent, but never showed.

So doctors went on to plan B and reached out to the local firefighting squad, who are typically so adept at dealing with this sort of thing. However, after closely inspecting the situation, the firefighters were also at a loss as to how to remove the wrench without seriously injuring the man.

Luckily, it was at this point that one doctor suggested that they call in some dentists, explaining that earlier that afternoon she had listened to a lecture regarding a similar case. Two dentists soon showed up and went to work with a dental drill that spins extremely fast, but uses water to keep itself cool, preventing the man's genitals from getting burned.

Following a delicate 30-minute operation, the dentists successfully cut through the wrench and freed the poor guy's manhood after it had been trapped for some 17 hours in total.

Reports fail to state how exactly the wrench got on there in the first place, though it is mentioned that the man is a bachelor.

For those of you scoring at home, 14mm is slightly more than half an inch.

What the H-E-double hockey sticks is going through this dude's mind?

Well, I'm guessing he was working on something and the wrench wasn't cutting it and he shouts out, "Freaking wrench!!" And it's at that moment, the light bulb flickers on and he thinks, "I'm gonna freak that wrench!!" So he busts out a can of

and makes dumbass history!!

You sir! Yes, you! With the wrench on your crank!

 

[Prime Time]

Massachusetts and Arizona, tiring of Florida getting all the attention, offer up two candidates of their own for dumbass of the day.
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http://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/Police-Situation-in-Medford-Massachusetts-433665613.html

Man in Custody After Standoff Outside Kiss 108 Radio Studios in Medford, Massachusetts
By Alysha Palumbo and Marc Fortier

A witness told NBC Boston the man came to the area before 2 p.m. and asked where the iHeart radio section of the building was. He went into the building and approached a secretary. He requested that they play the song "My Axe" by Insane Clown Posse and displayed a large ax.

The man then returned to his vehicle, by which time police had arrived. He rammed a police vehicle, and then threw the axe at police, but it did not hit anyone.

The witness said the man had several knives inside the car and was also seen drinking beer in the car.

Here you go, dumbass...NSFW


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWaXZB8Gf40

https://www.aol.com/article/news/20...n-gold-paint-and-glitter-goes-viral/23023671/

Mugshot of man covered in gold paint and glitter goes viral
KELSEY WEEKMAN, AOL.COM

Photo: Maricopa County Sheriff's Office

He was reportedly dropped off near the store by two people who "thought it would be funny for him to be naked," a police spokesperson from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office stated.

Kanoff was charged with indecent exposure, public sexual indecency and possession of dangerous drugs after admitting to doing drugs earlier that day.

Court records show that just a week earlier he completed a court-mandated drug program after being arrested in January 2016 for drug possession.

Kanoff appears to no longer be in custody.

 

[RedRam]

The ex-wife says thank you for the $100k! Dumbass!!

Jury: Newlywed had husband killed to get his insurance money

Jul. 08, 2017

https://apnews.com/3f336ebb79f646b5886a6b9119ac1393

CLEVELAND (AP) — A newlywed accused of soliciting her firefighter husband’s killing to collect $100,000 in insurance money has been convicted of aggravated murder in a scheme that was flawed from the start: His ex-wife was still the beneficiary of his policy.

Uloma Curry-Walker, 45, could receive life in prison without parole for the November 2013 slaying of William Walker, whom she had married just four months earlier. Jurors deliberated for less than two hours before coming back with the verdict Friday, Cleveland.com reported (http://bit.ly/2uCGoXg).

Prosecutors said Curry-Walker was nearing financial ruin after running up tens of thousands of dollars in debt when she asked her then-17-year-old daughter and the daughter’s boyfriend to find someone to kill her husband so she could collect the insurance money.

But a police investigation found that Curry-Walker’s plan had a glaring problem from the outset. Her husband had not yet changed the beneficiary on the insurance policy from his ex-wife’s name to Curry-Walker’s when he was killed, so it was the ex-wife who received the money.

Testimony showed that Curry-Walker gave the boyfriend, Chad Padgett, a $1,000 down payment to carry out the slaying. Padgett contacted his cousin Chris Hein, who initially failed in his attempt to kill Walker. Hein then turned to Ryan Dorty to carry out the killing.

Prosecutors said Dorty ambushed Walker and shot him four times as he returned home from getting fast food Curry-Walker had requested. She and her husband were packing the night he was killed for a move to a house they had purchased outside Cleveland.

The daughter, Padgett, Hein and Dorty testified against Curry-Walker at trial as part of plea deal for their roles in the murder conspiracy. Hein agreed to a sentence of 18 years to life; Padgett 28 years to life; and Dorty 23 years to life. Prosecutors agreed not to seek adult charges against Curry-Walker’s daughter. She will instead spend a month in a juvenile detention center.

The daughter testified at trial that her mother told her: “No one would believe I would hire a bunch of kids to kill someone when I know people that could.”

Curry-Walker wrote a confession the day she surrendered to police that said she killed her husband because he was abusive. Her attorneys did not call any witnesses to testify that Walker was violent toward his wife.

Cleveland.com reported that one of Curry-Walker’s attorneys pointed to discrepancies in witness testimony during closing arguments and suggested the daughter had devised the murder scheme.

Sentencing is scheduled for Aug. 8.

Neither of her attorneys returned telephone messages seeking comment on Friday.

Friday would have been the couple’s fourth wedding anniversary.

 

[Prime Time]

CLEVELAND (AP) — A newlywed accused of soliciting her firefighter husband’s killing to collect $100,000 in insurance money has been convicted of aggravated murder in a scheme that was flawed from the start: His ex-wife was still the beneficiary of his policy.

Probably a Browns fan.

 

[Prime Time]

We have three candidates today for dumbass of the day.

(1) the man who threw the pizza slice out of the window
(2) the one who reported him to the authorities
(3) whoever decided throwing pizza out of a car window is assault

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http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/pizza-assault-1.4197257

Pizza slice thrown out vehicle window, teen charged with assault
CBC News

An 18-year-old who threw a slice of pizza out a vehicle window at someone has been charged with assault.

Police were called about an alleged assault at a Thorburn Road property in St. John's around 6:30 p.m. Sunday.

The man said he was on his property, near the street, when the passenger in a passing vehicle threw a slice of pizza at him.

The pizza slice missed the man, but he called police to show officers video surveillance of the incident.

As a result, the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary charged the 18-year-old with assault.

Police said the two men know each other, and there may be some history between the two.

 

[RedRam]

Probably a Browns fan.

Hope so because she's going to the dawg pound for a very long time!!

 

[Prime Time]

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-selfie-los-angeles-museum-fail-20170714-htmlstory.html


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsKyxf12QVo

The quest for the perfect selfie at a pop-up gallery in Los Angeles known for its Instagram-friendly art took a disastrous turn recently, and it came with a steep price.

The calamitous scene unfolded when an unidentified woman crouched for a selfie in front of a row of crowns displayed individually on pedestals and fell backward, triggering an unstoppable domino effect in a room described by the gallery as “a serene space.”

Simon Birch, a British-born, Hong Kong-based artist who conceived the art installation, told the New York Times that the selfie fail occurred two weeks ago and caused about $200,000 in damage.

 

[bubbaramfan]

The "dumbass" isn't the girl, i'ts the guy who set up those stands.

 

[Prime Time]

http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-n...f/2017/07/oregon_woman_arrested_for_towi.html

Oregon woman arrested for towing kids in a wagon behind her car
By Lizzy Acker

(Springfield resident Damaris Carlson via Springfield Police Department)

A Springfield woman was arrested Wednesday evening and charged with two counts of reckless endangerment after multiple drivers reported a car towing three children -- her 2-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son and 8-year-old nephew -- in a small, plastic red wagon going around a busy roundabout multiple times during rush hour.

Police were not initially aware of the third child and a third charge is now pending.

Alana Nicole Donahue (Springfield Police Department)

"I talked to a witness today that said she saw them go by her house in their neighborhood and they were going like 30 miles an hour," Lt. McKee said.

In a press release, police said that a witness reported the youngest child begin to cry after the wagon went up on two wheels during the trip.

Other witnesses told officials that Donahue was holding up traffic and then yelling at motorists, telling them to get out of her way and mind their own business.

Officers evaluated Donahue at the scene when she was arrested several hours later. She did not appear to be under the influence of intoxicants.

 

[RedRam]

http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-n...f/2017/07/oregon_woman_arrested_for_towi.html

Oregon woman arrested for towing kids in a wagon behind her car
By Lizzy Acker

(Springfield resident Damaris Carlson via Springfield Police Department)

A Springfield woman was arrested Wednesday evening and charged with two counts of reckless endangerment after multiple drivers reported a car towing three children -- her 2-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son and 8-year-old nephew -- in a small, plastic red wagon going around a busy roundabout multiple times during rush hour.

Police were not initially aware of the third child and a third charge is now pending.

Alana Nicole Donahue (Springfield Police Department)

"I talked to a witness today that said she saw them go by her house in their neighborhood and they were going like 30 miles an hour," Lt. McKee said.

In a press release, police said that a witness reported the youngest child begin to cry after the wagon went up on two wheels during the trip.

Other witnesses told officials that Donahue was holding up traffic and then yelling at motorists, telling them to get out of her way and mind their own business.

Officers evaluated Donahue at the scene when she was arrested several hours later. She did not appear to be under the influence of intoxicants.

They're saying she did this SOBER?!? :shocked: WOW!! She's a very special kind of moron! Those kids need to be as far away from that kind of insanity as possible... I would've liked to see that someone stepped up to stop her crazy train but as long as the kids are ok, that doesn't really matter. Well, they're ok for the time being. They'll have plenty of to deal with in the future. All predisposed by having a bat crazy mom/aunt...

 

[RamBall]

What part of that mugshot says shes not under the influence?