The mother of all polls (LEMONGATE)

[Boffo97]

DOE!

(it works better out loud than in text...)

 

[RamzFanz]

Notice also on page 10 a donut called "Glazed Cocoa Jelly Donut". WTF is that? That alone is sufficient reason to disqualify Dunkin Donuts from having a say in all this. There supposedly is no such thing as Lemon Jelly but there's a COCOA Jelly? Get the freak out. That has to be the most convoluted thing I've ever seen. Cocoa freaking Jelly? The HORROR!

And let's not stray too far from your assertion all along and that is that there is no such thing as a Lemon Jelly Filled donut. Clearly if they are sold at a chain the size of Winchell's they exist in large numbers and not just in small mom and pops all over this great country of ours that proudly get up every morning in the wee hours to painstakingly bake and fill each Lemon Jelly Filled donut with the love of a doe tending to her fawn. What do you have against nature? Are you so cruel that you would deny a mother deer the affections of her newborn fawn?

All she wants is to live in a world where it's ok to order a Lemon Jelly Filled donut. Where's your heart?

If you can apply the term "Jelly" to lemon filling with complete abandon and no regard for society, like asserting that a twinkie is cream filled, I guess you can apply it to Cocoa or anything else.

Clown hair jelly filled donuts.

 

[RamFan503]

If you can apply the term "Jelly" to lemon filling with complete abandon and no regard for society, like asserting that a twinkie is cream filled, I guess you can apply it to Cocoa or anything else.

Clown hair jelly filled donuts.

So then you and Mr. "X" are conceding?

 

[RamzFanz]

So then you and Mr. "X" are conceding?

Oh, no, that was just an observation of your reckless application of the term Jelly.

I believe you disqualified yourself at the word cream.

 

[RamFan503]

First of all - cream is not really part of this debate. It was only a quick example and I will even admit that it doesn't really fit. I'm sure I can find other examples to satisfy your delicate sensibilities. Maybe say... Cocoa Jelly?

Second, the poll question is a little off. Here is the origins of the poll before you:

freak you - there's no such thing as lemon jelly. Let's throw $200K down on this and start a poll. Results determines who wins the bet, and you can lobby throughout the thread as much as you want to try and convince people of your position on lemongate.

Be that as it may, I went along with this because Mr. "X"'s position is obviously preposterous and easily dispelled. What I didn't count on is the level of Good Ole Boy network support enjoyed by my esteemed colleague. He has been able to pull votes base purely on name recognition alone. With all my years in politics, I should have seen this coming and had the poll question reflect the real contention here. That contention is - Does Lemon Jelly exist and is there such a thing as a Lemon Jelly Filled donut? Clearly the answer to both is obviously YES.

I have already established that there is Lemon Jelly:

My esteemed voters: It has been eschewed by my opponent that there is no such thing as a Lemon Jelly Filled Donut. He has gone so far at one point to accuse me of being un-American in his zeal to be right about his key platform in this election. All I ask is that you consider what is being discussed here.

In the past, my opponent has even had the audacity to question the mere existence of Lemon Jelly. As if something not found in the local Safeway or Kroegers simply doesn't exist. Is a person of such limited scope really someone you want to place your trust in to say "There is no such thing as a lemon filled jelly donut."? A real small sampling of the internet reveals that a great number of people not only know Lemon Jelly exists but seek out and provide recipes for the tasty jelled fruit juice.
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/recipe/meyer-lemon-jelly.html
http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/sauce-spread/jam/is-there-anything-better-then-a-meyer.html
http://www.nigella.com/recipes/view/fresh-lemon-jelly-716
http://www.bhg.com/recipe/canning/lemon-jelly/
http://www.yummly.com/recipes/lemon-jelly-pectin

What say you Mr. "X"?

AND that there are many donut shops selling Lemon Jelly Filled donuts including one of the largest chains in the country.

But to find out that Dunkin Donuts - the main authority my opponent has used throughout this debate - sells a donut with a substance in it called Cocoa Jelly, well.... that's just glaze on the donut.

So ask yourself. Are you really gong to go to your grave defending the position that there is no such thing as Lemon Jelly or a Lemon Jelly Filled donut? And also fade to black defending the notion that there IS such a thing as Cocoa Jelly? Please.

 

[-X-]

Still no such thing.

The FILLING inside those lemon donuts (the ones you call jelly) is not jelly.
Traditional jelly donuts have actual jelly in them. That's why they're called jelly donuts.
Lemon filled donuts have filling in them, and that's why they're called lemon-filled donuts.

The poll numbers also support that. And as such, I shall now taunt you.

 

[RamFan503]

Still no such thing.

See what I'm talking about?

Americans and ROD members - this injustice cannot stand!

 

[RamFan503]

COCOA JELLY

 

[-X-]

Hey. Tomato's a fruit. Let's jam a donut full of tomato sauce and call it a tomato jelly donut.

 

[RamFan503]

Hey. Tomato's a fruit. Let's jam a donut full of tomato sauce and call it a tomato jelly donut.

Apparently Dunkin Donuts will try it. Suggest it to them. It can be sold right along side their Cocoa Jelly Filled donuts. So wrong.

 

[RamFan503]

Still no such thing.

The FILLING inside those lemon donuts (the ones you call jelly) is not jelly.
Traditional jelly donuts have actual jelly in them. That's why they're called jelly donuts.
Lemon filled donuts have filling in them, and that's why they're called lemon-filled donuts.

The poll numbers also support that. And as such, I shall now taunt you.

Is that cocoa jelly in his pants?

 

[RamzFanz]

I've never even heard of your donut chain. Clearly dunkin donuts is the authority on AMERICAN donuts. Your place is probably French or something and calling it jelly to be snide frenchy frenches.

 

[RamFan503]

I've never even heard of your donut chain. Clearly dunkin donuts is the authority on AMERICAN donuts. Your place is probably French or something and calling it jelly to be snide frenchy frenches.

Can't help it that you need to get out more. Winchell's is as American as baseball and apple pie and has been around longer than Dunkin' and while they are not as big as the behemoth that is DD (some of the worst donuts I've ever had were from DD) they have something like 200 stores throughout the country. And while all of Winchell's donut shops are located in the USA and are focused on donuts, DD has stores in Russia and throughout the Middle East and over 50% of their sales is coffee - not donuts.

 

[Tron]

Its all about Krispy Creme fellas!!!!

They also have this to say about their lemon filled donuts:

Glazed Lemon Filled

Bursting with rich, zesty lemon filling and topped with our signature Original Glaze, our Glazed Lemon Filled is chock-full of flavor.

 

[-X-]

Its all about Krispy Creme fellas!!!!

They also have this to say about their lemon filled donuts:

Glazed Lemon Filled

Bursting with rich, zesty lemon filling and topped with our signature Original Glaze, our Glazed Lemon Filled is chock-full of flavor.

And the hits keep coming!

 

[-X-]

Just got back from the grocery store, and guess what I couldn't find.
Not a single jar of lemon jelly on the shelf.

 

[RamzFanz]

Just got back from the grocery store, and guess what I couldn't find.
Not a single jar of lemon jelly on the shelf.

Really? Are you sure?

I've had grape jelly filled donuts and I see grape there... and raspberry... and strawberry... wow, that sure is odd that there is no lemon jelly.

 

[-X-]

Really? Are you sure?

I've had grape jelly filled donuts and I see grape there... and raspberry... and strawberry... wow, that sure is odd that there is no lemon jelly.

I quadruple checked, and then I called over a stock guy too.
First I asked him if he had any aspirations to be a QB, and then I asked him about the Jelleh.

"No lemon jelleh", he said.
"No? Are you sure?" I asked.
"I R sure. No lemon jelleh", he repeated.
"Thank you, Kurt."
"Yes suh."

 

[RamzFanz]

I quadruple checked, and then I called over a stock guy too.
First I asked him if he had any aspirations to be a QB, and then I asked him about the Jelleh.

"No lemon jelleh", he said.
"No? Are you sure?" I asked.
"I R sure. No lemon jelleh", he repeated.
"Thank you, Kurt."
"Yes suh."

Welp, that's a wrap. No cream in twinkies and no jelly in lemon filled donuts.

Don't forget my helper ROD dollars X.

 

[-X-]

Welp, that's a wrap. No cream in twinkies and no jelly in lemon filled donuts.

Don't forget my helper ROD dollars X.

Thanks for your help. You can pick up a check Friday.