STLtoday - Imagining the LA Rams London Introduction

[12intheBox]

http://www.stltoday.com/sports/colu...cle_18a07e4d-9c25-5f44-a1ff-2bfb86bb18bb.html

We are still in the 24 hour grace period, so I think its OK to post this - plus - its pretty funny.

A Brit walks into his first NFL game.

Oliver is the name, and he came here, to London's Twickenham Stadium on Sunday to watch the Los Angeles Rams play the New York Giants. He is ready to experience American football in person. Or so he thought.

A misguided American made the trip.


Hank's the name, and he is officially the biggest sucker in this massive rugby cathedral. He had enough disposable income to fly 12 hours for a football game, but lacks enough common sense to cut ties with a team owned by Stan Kroenke and coached by Jeff Fisher.

Oliver and Hank happen to be sitting next to one another.

The game begins.

Oliver: Hiya.

Hank: Hello.

Oliver: Drinking already, mate?

Hank: Helps the nerves.

Oliver: Fly in from Los Angeles?

Hank: Yes, sir. Waited years for my Rams to come home. I'll follow them anywhere now.

Oliver: So the Rams started in Los Angeles?

Hank: Cleveland, actually. It's complicated. But enough of that. That Giants fumble just set us up. We've gotta make 'em pay.

Oliver: My first touchdown! That must have been the Goff bloke I heard about. Number one pick!

Hank: Actually, that's not Jared Goff. It's Case Keenum. You've probably never heard of Keenum. Jeff Fisher, our coach, won't play Goff, even though we moved heaven and earth to draft him. But hey, Fisher knows best.

Oliver: So this Keenum bloke, he's better than Goff?

Hank: Hope not. He throws as many interceptions as touchdowns. He's actually ended each of the last two games on an interception. The good news is there's no way that can happen three times in a row. (Nervous chuckle)

Oliver: Whatever you say, mate. Hey, that Giants player just booted the ball halfway down the pitch!

Hank: That's nothing. See that guy down there, No. 6? Johnny Hekker. He's our best player. Guy can punt the pigskin a mile. The team promotes the heck out of him.

Oliver: So these punters, they're the star of every team?

Hank: No. Never, usually.

Oliver: Blimey! That was an odd punt.

Hank: Not quite. Field goal. We're rolling now.

Oliver: A 10-point lead in the first quarter. Your Rams might score 40! How is it these blokes are just 3-3 this season?

Hank: Don't ask.

Oliver: Where is that Todd Gurley fellow? I hear he's amazing.

Hank: He's out there. He's just hard to recognize these days.

Oliver: Was that a yellow card?

Hank: Close. A flag. Looks like it's on Greg Robinson. Get used to that.

Oliver: Good thing Robinson wasn't a top pick like Goff, right?

Hank: Well, we took him second overall in 2014.

SECOND QUARTER

Oliver: Wait. The defense gets yellow card— I mean flags— too?

Hank: Yep. Looks like it's on Aaron Donald. This one might hurt. Spoiled a third-and-6, and now the Giants are driving. Fisher will get this penalty problem fixed, but I sure hope he hurries. Hopefully we can hold them to a field goal.

Oliver: This Fisher, he is a good coach?

Hank: He nearly won the Super Bowl back in the 1999 season. But not with us. In fact, he lost to us in the Super Bowl that year.

Oliver: So the Los Angeles Rams have won a Super Bowl?

Hank: Well, they were the St. Louis Rams back then. It's complicated.

Oliver: And Fisher hasn't been back to the playoffs since?

Hank: Sure he has. He's won two playoff games, one in 2002 and another 2003. He hasn't taken the Rams there yet, but hey, it's only his fifth season with the Rams.

Oliver: Cripes. Sounds like he's coaching for his job.

Hank: A contract extension is expected, actually.

Oliver: That is bonkers. Who runs this club?

Hank: Stan Kroenke is the owner.

Oliver: Is that the same blighter who is ruining Arsenal?

Hank: What's Arsenal?

Oliver: Another touchdown!

Hank: Stop cheering! That was for the Giants.

Oliver: But didn't Keenum throw it?

Hank: It's called a pick-six.

Oliver: Keenum kind of stinks, doesn't he?

Hank: Interceptions should be blamed on the receivers, not Keenum. Fisher says so.

Oliver: Fisher really likes calling plays for Hekker. That's three punts in a row!

Hank: I need another beer.


FOURTH QUARTER

Oliver: Where am I? What happened?

Hank: You fell asleep at halftime. Slept through the third quarter.

Oliver: What did I miss?

Hank: Some more Hekker punts. Beauties, all of 'em.

Oliver: Is there a limit to how many times you can punt in a game?

Hank: Fortunately, no.

Oliver: I really like that No. 20 for the Giants. He is everywhere.

Hank: Janoris Jenkins. Great defensive back. He used to play for us.

Oliver: How did he end up with the Giants?

Hank: It's complicated.

Oliver: Another Interception? What was Keenum — I mean the receiver — thinking there?

Hank: Now you're getting it. Good question.

Oliver: Well, the Giants scored again. But at least it wasn't on a pick-six!

Hank: (Audible sigh)

Oliver: Crikey! A third interception. Is there a limit on how many your receivers can make you throw in one game?

Hank: Unfortunately, no.

Oliver: Goff has to be better than this, right?

Hank: We can only hope. But best not to rush him.

Oliver: Did that Robinson bloke really draw three flags during that series?

Hank: I told you to get used to it.

Oliver: Well, I guess it all comes down to this. How confident can you be in Keenum at this point?

Hank: (Muffled sob)

Oliver: A fourth interception! It's over now, right?

Hank: Should be. But sometimes our defense likes to spear opponents while they take a knee to run out the clock. Play to the very end, you know?

Oliver: With all due respect, no. Not my cup of tea. But I agree with you about Hekker. Seven punts! He would be great at rugby. You're all right, Hank. But your team is off the trolley. You really watch this rubbish every weekend?

Hank: Well … I … Hey, Oliver?

Oliver: Yes, Hank.

Hank: Say I wanted to give up football and start watching rugby ...

 

[Corbin]

Haha it's hilarious some of those peeps in Stl are all butt just still they still write derogatory or troll pieces against the Rams. Your ex has moved on and she is happy... GET OVER IT!

They act like they have any legitiment reason to writing pieces on the Rams. How about you write about your precious Cardinals?! Ohhh not in the playoffs? No wonder they are bored now.

 

[12intheBox]

Haha it's hilarious some of those peeps in Stl are all butt just still they still write derogatory or troll pieces against the Rams. Your ex has moved on and she is happy... GET OVER IT!

They act like they have any legitiment reason to writing pieces on the Rams. How about you write about your precious Cardinals?! Ohhh not in the playoffs? No wonder they are bored now.

I think there are still a lot of Rams fans in STL and the surrounding area - and to your point - many more who are just rooting against the club. Still, what do you expect - them to write a puff piece? Isn't the LA media slamming the Rams right now, too? If they aren't - shouldn't they be?

 

[Rmfnlt]

Isn't the LA media slamming the Rams right now, too?

Yes, they are.

 

[Corbin]

I think there are still a lot of Rams fans in STL and the surrounding area - and to your point - many more who are just rooting against the club. Still, what do you expect - them to write a puff piece? Isn't the LA media slamming the Rams right now, too? If they aren't - shouldn't they be?

Judging by the shit that comes out of the StL media for the last 6 months it has little to do with an objective insight piece and more to do with being butthurt I'm going to laugh at any little thing piece. Those all bitter are so hypocritical it's not even funny.

 

[12intheBox]

Judging by the crap that comes out of the StL media for the last 6 months it has little to do with an objective insight piece and more to do with being butthurt I'm going to laugh at any little thing piece. Those all bitter are so hypocritical it's not even funny.

Clearly this piece is meant to be funny - not an objective insight piece. And yeah, I'm sure there is some playing to the hard feelings of the STL fan base. I don't know that I see much hypocrisy - but certainly there is bitterness there.

 

[Corbin]

Clearly this piece is meant to be funny - not an objective insight piece. And yeah, I'm sure there is some playing to the hard feelings of the STL fan base. I don't know that I see much hypocrisy - but certainly there is bitterness there.

This is meant to be funny for a woe is me STL audience so they can continue their slide into bitterness. They need to grow the F up.

 

[12intheBox]

This is meant to be funny for a woe is me STL audience so they can continue their slide into bitterness. They need to grow the F up.

I thought it was pretty funny - and I'm still a fan of this franchise. As long as the Rams are losing - you can expect this kind of snark - not just from STL (although certainly from STL) but also from LA and the national media. The only real way to escape it is to win.

 

[Corbin]

I thought it was pretty funny - and I'm still a fan of this franchise. As long as the Rams are losing - you can expect this kind of snark - not just from STL (although certainly from STL) but also from LA and the national media. The only real way to escape it is to win.

Yeah the LA media is ripping their ass ( mostly Fishers ass) from a few pieces I just read and deservingly so. I can't wait to hear the espn shows today haha