You don't need to apologize to me. I'm living it (although I was terribly skinny as a kid).
I was up to 284 and got healthy enough to get into BJJ and got down to 215.
Well, I had a kidney issue and my shoulders just crumbled like pie crust and I'm back up to 277 and I'm not on some 4k calorie/day diet. I just have a really slow metabolism unless I'm working out which right now is pretty difficult. Plus, with so much history of stroke in my family, I'm terribly reticent to work out during a migraine (which is technically already a dilation of the vascular structures of the brain).
So, I FEEL the frustration you feel to the marrow of my bones. I didn't think you were being aggressive in the slightest.
Trust me... while I LOVE the VA and all they have done for me, there are times when it has been so frustrating, I feel like I'm gonna burst.