LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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RamFan503

Grill and Brew Master
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Name
Stu
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RhodyRams

well hung member
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so I actually have this posted in my construction trailer along with all the other sign that OSHA requires.

the best part of that is I call my helper dumbass all the time..but he's my nephew so I can get away with it
 

Raptorman

Pro Bowler
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Nov 3, 2015
Messages
1,122
Name
David
On a tour of California, the Pope took a couple of days off to Visit the Coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just offshore. A helpless man, wearing a Green Seahawks football jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing LA Rams jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding semiconscious, Seahawks fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat also. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there were some bitter hatred feelings between Rams and the Seahawks, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true".

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "Who was that"? "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom". "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know much about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to get another one"?
 

Raptorman

Pro Bowler
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Nov 3, 2015
Messages
1,122
Name
David
On the Balcony


The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.
A few moments passed ... "An ambulance just drove by"
"Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out
"Matt is riding a new bike....."
A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving"
A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know that?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."