LEGEND Make Us Laugh
- Thread starter Prime Time
- Start date
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- Jul 27, 2010
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I laughed out loud with this commercial! It is so politically incorrect now. It reminded me of a story that I wrote about a childhood friend's dysfunctional family and how we escaped the pressures inside the house by playing outside. We played "army" with those little green plastic army men (riflemen, bazooka-men, machine gunners) placed in homemade earthen bunkers and defenses that we made with our hands. In other words, we used our imaginations to escape the ugliness inside. But the professor's first comment was about the damaging effects of children playing with "war."
OMG, lol. I imagine she would have lost her mind with the commercial!
RocknRam29
Live, Love, Laugh, & Learn
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Parents can relate to this. Lol
View: https://www.facebook.com/itsgoneviralofficial/videos/1992739997669074/
View: https://www.facebook.com/itsgoneviralofficial/videos/1992739997669074/
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I know it’s late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis, MN at the new U.S. Bank Stadium on Sunday February 4th.
They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game.
What he didn't realize when he bought them last year was that it’s on the same day as his WEDDING.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt, and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress
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i must give credit where credit due. the owner of the race track i used to race at came up with this witty one. i'm betting he's not the originator though.
either way, its good for a laugh .''
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They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game.
What he didn't realize when he bought them last year was that it’s on the same day as his WEDDING.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt, and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress
*******************************************************************
i must give credit where credit due. the owner of the race track i used to race at came up with this witty one. i'm betting he's not the originator though.
either way, its good for a laugh .''***************************************************************
Memento
Your (Somewhat) Friendly Neighborhood Authoress.
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- Jul 30, 2010
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- Name
- Jemma
I know it’s late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis, MN at the new U.S. Bank Stadium on Sunday February 4th.
They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game.
What he didn't realize when he bought them last year was that it’s on the same day as his WEDDING.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt, and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress
*******************************************************************
i must give credit where credit due. the owner of the race track i used to race at came up with this witty one. i'm betting he's not the originator though.
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If he has two tickets, why not use one of them on his future wife? Joke falls kinda flat to me. Must be because I'm a woman.
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Memento
Your (Somewhat) Friendly Neighborhood Authoress.
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- Name
- Jemma
But I mean, if the friend has two tickets to the game, it might be a wise course to use one of them on his future wife, right? I know the attempted humor in it, but like I said, it falls a little flat.
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During his annual health exam, a man's doctor ordered him to supply a semen sample to determine his sperm count.
The doctor gave him a jar and told him to return the next day with the sample.
The next day, the man returned with a clean, empty jar.
The doctor asked him what happened.
He said "well, ya see doc, I tried with my right hand... nothing. I tried with my left hand... nothing. My wife tried with her right hand... nothing. She tried with her left hand... nothing. Then, we asked Lucille next door to try... she came over and tried with BOTH hands... nothing!
The doctor was astounded... he asked, "you asked your neighbor???"
He said... "yup... but no matter how hard we all tried, we could not get that jar open!
The doctor gave him a jar and told him to return the next day with the sample.
The next day, the man returned with a clean, empty jar.
The doctor asked him what happened.
He said "well, ya see doc, I tried with my right hand... nothing. I tried with my left hand... nothing. My wife tried with her right hand... nothing. She tried with her left hand... nothing. Then, we asked Lucille next door to try... she came over and tried with BOTH hands... nothing!
The doctor was astounded... he asked, "you asked your neighbor???"
He said... "yup... but no matter how hard we all tried, we could not get that jar open!
RocknRam29
Live, Love, Laugh, & Learn
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A man lost one arm in a golfing accident when his cart overturned.
Over the next few months, he became more and more despondent as he could no longer play his favorite game.
Finally, he was so low he decided to end his life.
He took an elevator to the top of a high rise and was going to jump.
Just before he jumped, he looked down and saw a man with no arms whooping and dancing around.
He thought "how silly of me to consider ending my life because I lost one arm. This man has lost both and he seems so happy."
He took the elevator back down to the street and approached the man. He was still dancing around, whooping and hollering.
He said to him: "I am so inspired by you... I was so depressed because I lost one arm that I was going to jump from the roof of this building. But I saw you dancing and whooping and decided, if you are happy, I can be too!"
Then he asked him: "how do you do it? Lose both arms but be so happy that you are dancing and whooping it up?"
The man said: "I'm not happy!!! My balls are itchy!!"
Over the next few months, he became more and more despondent as he could no longer play his favorite game.
Finally, he was so low he decided to end his life.
He took an elevator to the top of a high rise and was going to jump.
Just before he jumped, he looked down and saw a man with no arms whooping and dancing around.
He thought "how silly of me to consider ending my life because I lost one arm. This man has lost both and he seems so happy."
He took the elevator back down to the street and approached the man. He was still dancing around, whooping and hollering.
He said to him: "I am so inspired by you... I was so depressed because I lost one arm that I was going to jump from the roof of this building. But I saw you dancing and whooping and decided, if you are happy, I can be too!"
Then he asked him: "how do you do it? Lose both arms but be so happy that you are dancing and whooping it up?"
The man said: "I'm not happy!!! My balls are itchy!!"
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- Name
- Stu
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2010
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- 34,861
- Name
- Stu
Yep. Can’t imagine having to wake up to that.
Obviously she had to buy a pearl necklace. Ain’t no one giving it to her.
RedRam
Pro Bowler
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