While in the National Guard we did a two-week summer camp in Turkey. Up at 4,200 above sea level, it got cold at night. So they issued us sleeping bags. You know, the mummy type. The one where only your face stuck out. One of the things they warned us about was when we got up to put our boots on was to make sure we turned them over to make sure no scorpions crawled inside to stay warm. One night just before lights out, someone had caught a big ass cricket. They took this poor creature and put it in the bottom of Mikes's sleeping bag. Now we all knew it was in there except Mike. Mike was a big guy. About 6'2" and 225. Anyway, when he came back from the latrine we started talking about the scorpions and how they crawled into things. So Mike strips down and crawls into his bag. We are all zipped up and he zips his bag to the top. About five minutes later we hear Mike's screaming "Oh no, oh no, oh no." Somehow he had crawled out of his sleeping bag through the hole without unzipping the bag. The rest of us are in our bags laughing our asses off. He's standing there in the middle of the tent, about 40 degrees in his tidy whities shaking out his bag trying to find what the hell was crawling around his feet.