Things may not be perfect now, but sometimes is good to remember when things were REALLY bad.
Here is a flashback of a couple of "interviews" by "BernieM" of our esteemed HC, "Scott Linehan," circa 2007-08 (originally posted on another site).
Enjoy!
October 2007
Welcome, Coach.
Thanks for having me.
Let's get down to business. 0-4. Not what you expected, huh?
Things are going well. I see improvement in many aspects of the game. I'm encouraged.
You're encouraged? You've lost the last two games by a combined score of 59-10. The only TD the team has scored in the last 11 quarters was on a punt return. What's encouraging?
Well, you for one. You keep telling me my job is safe for another year.
Touche! But you know I'm just blowing smoke, right? You know the front office doesn't really tell me anything, right?
You and me both, big man!
Okay, you got me on that one! So how is Marc Bulger doing?
Well, of course, he's not quite 100%. But we've got a lot invested in Gus Frerrotte, so I don't want to subject him to an injury.
Don't you have more invested in Bulger?
Yes, but he's already injured.
Not sure I follow your logic on this one...
Yeah, me neither.
What about the Steven Jackson issue. You sat him out for the entire preseason, and he proceeded to have a very slow start, marred by fumbling problems, and then got hurt. Any regrets.
Absolutely. I wish I hadn't taken him first on my fantasy team.
You play fantasy football?
Of course. I'm in a league with Don Imus, L.L. Cool J, Matt Damon, Al Roker and Jeff Goldbloom.
Really? So who's in first?
Well, that Roker guy wins every year, but I've got him this year. He took Bulger, Bennett and McMichael, and you can see what I've done to make sure he doesn't get too many points.
Oh, so that explains the playcalling.
You catch on fast.
So, what do you see as the bright points of this team right now?
Well, certainly the defense has improved a bit. In fact, if we could just hold on to the ball and score points, the defense might actually look pretty good.
Of course, Coach Haslett has more to do with that than anyone.
I think I've left my mark there too.
How so?
I like to stay involved. I'll walk by during practice and say "nice job, guys," or something like that. I think that is a big help.
No doubt. What would you say to those fans out there who are losing faith in you and your staff?
There are fans out there who don't like me?
Um... yeah. Some have even come up with acronyms for fake organizations opposing you as the coach.
Well, that's just mean. I--I--
Coach?
Y--Yeah?
Are you crying?
N--No...
Don't worry, Coach. Things will get better.
Y--you really think so?
Uh.... yeah... sure. Sure they will.
I feel much better.
January 2008
Welcome, coach. Thanks for meeting with me.
No problem. Its not like I have anything else to do this time of year.
Really? Aren't you getting ready for free agency, the draft...
Nah. I think we're fine as is.
You do?
Well, clearly our record should have been better, but I didn't get fired, so I guess that means everything is okay.
Don't you want to win more games?
Well, sure I do, but there's nothing that I can do about it. I mean, I don't play the game.
True, but you do set the gameplan, call the plays, etc...
That's true, but that stuff doesn't really matter.
Your players seem to disagree. Torry Holt, for one.
What about him?
Well, he was pretty mad at you a couple of weeks ago, wasn't he?
I don't remember that.
Well, here's the tape <shows video clip of outburst>
Oh, that? He wasn't mad at me.
He wasn't? What was he saying.
He was saying "coach, I'm so frustrated about how fans have been coming down so hard on you when its all been about injuries and poor execution by us!"
Do you expect me to buy that?
Well, I didn't get fired, did I?
That's true, but I would suggest that Ms. Frontiere's health has put the team in limbo, and that's why you still have a job.
Are you accusing me of trying to kill the owner?
WHAT!?!!? NO!?!?!
Sure sounded like it.
Man, you are more paranoid than Mike Martz.
What about Mike Martz?!?!
Nothing. I was just saying...
He can't come back! I won't let him! No no no no no no no no!
I don't think anyone thinks he's coming back.
I'm in charge! He can't take away my power! No no no no no no!
Calm down, coach. I never said he was coming back. Now, what do you see as the Rams priorities in the upcoming draft?
Tight end.
What?
Tight end. That is the most important position on the team.
You're not serious, are you?
Don't I look serious?
But what about the pass rush? The offensive line? Strong safety?
A good tight end will make up for the problems at all those positions.
I don't see how, but are you saing that Randy McMichael is not good enough?
No, he's great. He used to play for me in Miami, you know? But we need more. More tight ends. More, I tell you. Bwahahaha!
Okay, well, anything you'd like to say about the 2007 season?
Yes. We accomplished all of our goals except one.
Which is?
Winning games.
Here is a flashback of a couple of "interviews" by "BernieM" of our esteemed HC, "Scott Linehan," circa 2007-08 (originally posted on another site).
Enjoy!
October 2007
Welcome, Coach.
Thanks for having me.
Let's get down to business. 0-4. Not what you expected, huh?
Things are going well. I see improvement in many aspects of the game. I'm encouraged.
You're encouraged? You've lost the last two games by a combined score of 59-10. The only TD the team has scored in the last 11 quarters was on a punt return. What's encouraging?
Well, you for one. You keep telling me my job is safe for another year.
Touche! But you know I'm just blowing smoke, right? You know the front office doesn't really tell me anything, right?
You and me both, big man!
Okay, you got me on that one! So how is Marc Bulger doing?
Well, of course, he's not quite 100%. But we've got a lot invested in Gus Frerrotte, so I don't want to subject him to an injury.
Don't you have more invested in Bulger?
Yes, but he's already injured.
Not sure I follow your logic on this one...
Yeah, me neither.
What about the Steven Jackson issue. You sat him out for the entire preseason, and he proceeded to have a very slow start, marred by fumbling problems, and then got hurt. Any regrets.
Absolutely. I wish I hadn't taken him first on my fantasy team.
You play fantasy football?
Of course. I'm in a league with Don Imus, L.L. Cool J, Matt Damon, Al Roker and Jeff Goldbloom.
Really? So who's in first?
Well, that Roker guy wins every year, but I've got him this year. He took Bulger, Bennett and McMichael, and you can see what I've done to make sure he doesn't get too many points.
Oh, so that explains the playcalling.
You catch on fast.
So, what do you see as the bright points of this team right now?
Well, certainly the defense has improved a bit. In fact, if we could just hold on to the ball and score points, the defense might actually look pretty good.
Of course, Coach Haslett has more to do with that than anyone.
I think I've left my mark there too.
How so?
I like to stay involved. I'll walk by during practice and say "nice job, guys," or something like that. I think that is a big help.
No doubt. What would you say to those fans out there who are losing faith in you and your staff?
There are fans out there who don't like me?
Um... yeah. Some have even come up with acronyms for fake organizations opposing you as the coach.
Well, that's just mean. I--I--
Coach?
Y--Yeah?
Are you crying?
N--No...
Don't worry, Coach. Things will get better.
Y--you really think so?
Uh.... yeah... sure. Sure they will.
I feel much better.
January 2008
Welcome, coach. Thanks for meeting with me.
No problem. Its not like I have anything else to do this time of year.
Really? Aren't you getting ready for free agency, the draft...
Nah. I think we're fine as is.
You do?
Well, clearly our record should have been better, but I didn't get fired, so I guess that means everything is okay.
Don't you want to win more games?
Well, sure I do, but there's nothing that I can do about it. I mean, I don't play the game.
True, but you do set the gameplan, call the plays, etc...
That's true, but that stuff doesn't really matter.
Your players seem to disagree. Torry Holt, for one.
What about him?
Well, he was pretty mad at you a couple of weeks ago, wasn't he?
I don't remember that.
Well, here's the tape <shows video clip of outburst>
Oh, that? He wasn't mad at me.
He wasn't? What was he saying.
He was saying "coach, I'm so frustrated about how fans have been coming down so hard on you when its all been about injuries and poor execution by us!"
Do you expect me to buy that?
Well, I didn't get fired, did I?
That's true, but I would suggest that Ms. Frontiere's health has put the team in limbo, and that's why you still have a job.
Are you accusing me of trying to kill the owner?
WHAT!?!!? NO!?!?!
Sure sounded like it.
Man, you are more paranoid than Mike Martz.
What about Mike Martz?!?!
Nothing. I was just saying...
He can't come back! I won't let him! No no no no no no no no!
I don't think anyone thinks he's coming back.
I'm in charge! He can't take away my power! No no no no no no!
Calm down, coach. I never said he was coming back. Now, what do you see as the Rams priorities in the upcoming draft?
Tight end.
What?
Tight end. That is the most important position on the team.
You're not serious, are you?
Don't I look serious?
But what about the pass rush? The offensive line? Strong safety?
A good tight end will make up for the problems at all those positions.
I don't see how, but are you saing that Randy McMichael is not good enough?
No, he's great. He used to play for me in Miami, you know? But we need more. More tight ends. More, I tell you. Bwahahaha!
Okay, well, anything you'd like to say about the 2007 season?
Yes. We accomplished all of our goals except one.
Which is?
Winning games.
