LEGEND Dumbass of the Day

[LesBaker]

That kind of crap is everywhere right now. So much debris that it's literally lining both sides of the roads for miles. People are trying to regain some kind of normalcy... problem is... they're crazy AF.

Moral of the story here is simple. You must have at least 1 truck in your driveway.

You should see it here. There is still standing water a few miles from me. It's probably not even 10% cleaned up in many areas.

Lots of chain saw sounds day and night.

It's bad.

 

[Prime Time]

New Zealand checks in with a Dumbass of the Day candidate. "Hey, little girl, I know you're only 4 but stop murdering innocent animals with your balloons."
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http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=11925085

Girl taken to task for releasing helium balloon which landed 160km away

A gamekeeper who found a 4-year-old girl's birthday balloon more than 160km from where she let it go has accused her of choking a deer he called Bambi.

The helium balloon had been released by Ava and her mother Lucy from Greater Manchester.

She wrote a message on the front asking whoever found the balloon to post on Facebook so that her parents could see how far it got.

But when Russ Edwards found it in Much Wenlock in Shropshire, he decided to tell the child off for risking the deer's life.

The hand-written message on the front said: "Hello my name is Ava. I have just turned 4.

"If you find this please post on Facebook to see if it gets back to my mummy and daddy.

"Love from Ava and Dave and Lucy (My mummy and daddy). xxxx."

Off-road driving enthusiast Edwards replied on Facebook wishing her a happy birthday before going on to chastise her for putting a wild fallow deer's life at risk.

He said: "Good morning Ava from Bolton.

"You are a lucky girl as I have found your message this morning.

"I would like to wish you a happy 4th birthday.

"I hope this message reaches you and other little boys and girls because at 6.30 this morning while you were tucked up in bed I was saving Bambi's life.

"She was choking on your birthday balloon.

"Your balloon was found near Much Wenlock, Shropshire.

"So please next time you test the power of social media please spare a thought for wildlife and livestock. Please share."

 

[Prime Time]

Notch another one up for Florida.
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http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/29/g...to-have-them-record-all-his-drug-deals-video/

Guy Installs Security Cameras Only To Have Them Record All His Drug Deals [VIDEO]
Gabrielle Okun

Officers arrested a Florida man after his personal home security cameras recorded his drug deals, according to local authorities Thursday.

Juan Dejesus Cabral, 26, was arrested on multiple drug-related charges after six home security cameras, meant to protect against robberies, captured around-the-clock drug dealings, reported Florida’s WFTV Channel 9. Police also arrested his girlfriend Julie Rembert, 20, for drug possession charges.

“Cabral had excellent taste in video cameras, providing detectives with high-quality video evidence of his illegal activity, plus bonus footage,” the Martin County Sheriff’s Office posted Thursday on Facebook.

Authorities took the couple to the Martin County Jail and “If you purchased or sold drugs at a home on SE Norfolk Street in Stuart, you may soon be selected for a future booking photo,” the sheriff’s office wrote on Facebook.

 

[Dodgersrf]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...nt-to-europe-police-say/ar-AAsB7YQ?li=BBnbfcL

Iowa mother left 4 kids home alone while she went to Europe, police say
17 / 19

FOX News
Paulina Dedaj 13 hrs ago

© Provided by Fox News Erin Lee Macke, 30, on Sept. 28, 2017.

An Iowa mother was arrested Thursday, charged with leaving her four young children at home while she traveled to Europe.

Police were called to the Johnston home of 30-year-old Erin Lee Macke on Sept. 21 after receiving a report that children had been left unsupervised, the Des Moines Register reported.

While conducting a welfare check, police found Macke’s four children – two 12-year-olds, a 6-year-old and a 7-year-old -- alone.

Police discovered that Macke left the U.S. a day earlier and wasn’t set to return until Oct. 1, the Register reported. She did not arrange any supervision for the children, authorities said.

Macke was contacted by police while she was in Germany and ordered to return. The Iowa Department of Human Services took custody of the abandoned children before handing them over to relatives.

Macke was being held at Polk County Jail with no bond. She faces four counts of child endangerment and one count of making a firearm available to a person under age 21, the Register reported.

 

[Farr Be It]

New Zealand checks in with a Dumbass of the Day candidate. "Hey, little girl, I know you're only 4 but stop murdering innocent animals with your balloons."
*********************************************************
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=11925085

Girl taken to task for releasing helium balloon which landed 160km away

A gamekeeper who found a 4-year-old girl's birthday balloon more than 160km from where she let it go has accused her of choking a deer he called Bambi.

The helium balloon had been released by Ava and her mother Lucy from Greater Manchester.

She wrote a message on the front asking whoever found the balloon to post on Facebook so that her parents could see how far it got.

But when Russ Edwards found it in Much Wenlock in Shropshire, he decided to tell the child off for risking the deer's life.

The hand-written message on the front said: "Hello my name is Ava. I have just turned 4.

"If you find this please post on Facebook to see if it gets back to my mummy and daddy.

"Love from Ava and Dave and Lucy (My mummy and daddy). xxxx."

Off-road driving enthusiast Edwards replied on Facebook wishing her a happy birthday before going on to chastise her for putting a wild fallow deer's life at risk.

He said: "Good morning Ava from Bolton.

"You are a lucky girl as I have found your message this morning.

"I would like to wish you a happy 4th birthday.

"I hope this message reaches you and other little boys and girls because at 6.30 this morning while you were tucked up in bed I was saving Bambi's life.

"She was choking on your birthday balloon.

"Your balloon was found near Much Wenlock, Shropshire.

"So please next time you test the power of social media please spare a thought for wildlife and livestock. Please share."

Stupid-ass deer, can't tell the difference between a balloon and a salt lick?

 

[-X-]

Florida man sets himself on fire after Cowboys lose to Packers

A drunken Florida man reportedly caught fire after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday.

The 27-year-old man, whose name has not yet been released to the public, was rushed to the hospital with third-degree burns after he tried to wear a Cowboys jersey he set ablaze as part of an alleged agreement, according to the Sebastian Daily.

A witness told the outlet the jersey burning occurred as the result of a bet the man lost against his wife following the Cowboys' defeat Sunday night.

"He was set on fire after losing a bet on the Cowboys game," the witness said. "Skin was hanging off his arm and back."

Apparently, when his wife's team, the Packers, bested the Cowboys 35-31, the man went outside to incinerate his jersey. And, at some point, he decided to put on the burning jersey.

Fortunately, family members were able to yank the jersey off of him and quickly transport him to a nearby hospital.

For many fans, it looked like the Cowboys were going to win Sunday's game when the team lead 31-28 with 1:13 remaining.

That was until Packers QB Aaron Rodgers led his team down the field for a touchdown pass to Davante Adams, which gave Green Bay a 35-31 win.

If the Cowboys were able to hang on, there may not have been hospital trip for this Florida couple at all.


https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-man-sets-himself-fire-215338823.html

 

[Prime Time]

And here's where it all went wrong......

And, at some point, he decided to put on the burning jersey.

 

[Dodgersrf]

And here's where it all went wrong......

lol.
Well, at some point, we're going to have to change the thread title to "What People Are Doing Today, In Florida"

 

[Prime Time]

Who's the dumbass here, her or her husband for turning her in?

"Town is near Blue Ball and Intercourse Pa. Not a joke!"

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/ow-my-balls-635012

Man Suffered "Puncture Marks" Down There
Cops: Wife grabbed husband's private parts during shower tiff

Today’s “Ow! My Balls!” dispatch come from Lititz, Pennsylvania, where a newlywed stands accused of leaving her husband with “puncture marks and scratch marks” on his genitals following a 1:45 AM confrontation inside the couple’s shower.

Abigail Geiger, 22, was booked Thursday on a misdemeanor assault charge in connection with the alleged September 19 attack on her husband David. The Geigers, married since February, are parents to a four-month-old daughter.

Responding to a report of a domestic disturbance involving “screaming and banging,” police arrived at the Geiger residence and encountered Abigail, who said she had argued in the shower with her husband(who was en route to the hospital).

As alleged in a probable cause affidavit, David “received puncture marks and scratch marks to his genitals” as a result of Abigail “grabbing his genitals in an effort to stop him from leaving the shower.”

While Abigail (seen above) suffered bruises on her back when David pushed her away to exit the shower, she was busted since cops “determined that she was the aggressor in the domestic violence incident.”

According to the Northern Lancaster County Regional Police Department, David received “hospital based care” for his injuries (which are not further described in court filings).

Abigail Geiger is scheduled for an October 19 preliminary hearing in District Court in Lititz, a town about 40 miles east of Harrisburg.

 

[RamBall]

Who's the dumbass here, her or her husband for turning her in?

"Town is near Blue Ball and Intercourse Pa. Not a joke!"

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/ow-my-balls-635012

Man Suffered "Puncture Marks" Down There
Cops: Wife grabbed husband's private parts during shower tiff

Today’s “Ow! My Balls!” dispatch come from Lititz, Pennsylvania, where a newlywed stands accused of leaving her husband with “puncture marks and scratch marks” on his genitals following a 1:45 AM confrontation inside the couple’s shower.

Abigail Geiger, 22, was booked Thursday on a misdemeanor assault charge in connection with the alleged September 19 attack on her husband David. The Geigers, married since February, are parents to a four-month-old daughter.

Responding to a report of a domestic disturbance involving “screaming and banging,” police arrived at the Geiger residence and encountered Abigail, who said she had argued in the shower with her husband(who was en route to the hospital).

As alleged in a probable cause affidavit, David “received puncture marks and scratch marks to his genitals” as a result of Abigail “grabbing his genitals in an effort to stop him from leaving the shower.”

While Abigail (seen above) suffered bruises on her back when David pushed her away to exit the shower, she was busted since cops “determined that she was the aggressor in the domestic violence incident.”

According to the Northern Lancaster County Regional Police Department, David received “hospital based care” for his injuries (which are not further described in court filings).

Abigail Geiger is scheduled for an October 19 preliminary hearing in District Court in Lititz, a town about 40 miles east of Harrisburg.

What a dumbass! Just give her what she obviously wants, or better yet, he should hire someone like me to service her for him.

 

[RedRam]

lol.
Well, at some point, we're going to have to change the thread title to "What People Are Doing Today, In Florida"

...but change the spelling to Floriduh...

 

[dieterbrock]

Florida man sets himself on fire after Cowboys lose to Packers

A drunken Florida man reportedly caught fire after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday.

The 27-year-old man, whose name has not yet been released to the public, was rushed to the hospital with third-degree burns after he tried to wear a Cowboys jersey he set ablaze as part of an alleged agreement, according to the Sebastian Daily.

A witness told the outlet the jersey burning occurred as the result of a bet the man lost against his wife following the Cowboys' defeat Sunday night.

"He was set on fire after losing a bet on the Cowboys game," the witness said. "Skin was hanging off his arm and back."

Apparently, when his wife's team, the Packers, bested the Cowboys 35-31, the man went outside to incinerate his jersey. And, at some point, he decided to put on the burning jersey.

Fortunately, family members were able to yank the jersey off of him and quickly transport him to a nearby hospital.

For many fans, it looked like the Cowboys were going to win Sunday's game when the team lead 31-28 with 1:13 remaining.

That was until Packers QB Aaron Rodgers led his team down the field for a touchdown pass to Davante Adams, which gave Green Bay a 35-31 win.

If the Cowboys were able to hang on, there may not have been hospital trip for this Florida couple at all.


https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-man-sets-himself-fire-215338823.html

So that's what happened to @Rynie

 

[Farr Be It]

Warren Carrigan
18 hours ago
dude bro & his chicka were standing for the entire game. words gradually got more and more escalated. there previously was a single mom and her son between us, they left halfway through the 3rd. after that, the lid was off. the dude took offense to the couple never sitting down and obstructing his view. the victim telling the dude bro how they’re being jerks and how rude they are for not sitting. the dude bro turns around and calls the victim a “geriatric fuck”, “faggot”, and “hick”. then sucker punches him right in the face. i don’t know if he got away or left in handcuffs, but i hope it’s the latter. @ Bank of America Stadium


View: https://youtu.be/YATGR-C81dk


...Oh, and the tough guy, Kyle Maraghy, 27, was arrested today by some "geriatric, faggotty ass, hick- fuck" cop. The victim, 62, was a Panther season ticket holder, frustrated because dick-wad wouldn't sit down all game.

 

[Prime Time]

There'll definitely be a shunning for this dumbass.
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http://wkbn.com/2017/10/13/amish-teen-from-new-wilmington-charged-with-dui-in-buggy/

Amish teen from New Wilmington charged with DUI in buggy
By Chelsea Simeon

NEW WILMINGTON, Pa. (WKBN) – An Amish teen from New Wilmington is facing DUI charges as a result of a traffic stop earlier this month.

John Byler, 19, was pulled over around 7:30 p.m. October 1 in the borough. He was in an Amish buggy and didn’t have the required lights activated, according to the New Wilmington Police Department.

Police said an officer ordered Byler to turn on the buggy’s lights. Finally, investigators said he did so but appeared to be struggling to control the horse.

Further investigation determined that Byler had been drinking, police said.

Police said his blood-alcohol content was .056, which is above the legal limit of .02 for a person under the age of 21.

He was charged with DUI because a buggy is considered a vehicle, according to New Wilmington Police.

Byler’s charges were filed in a district court on Wednesday. He’s due in court for a preliminary hearing at 9:30 a.m. November 16.

 

[FaulkSF]

There'll definitely be a shunning for this dumbass.
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http://wkbn.com/2017/10/13/amish-teen-from-new-wilmington-charged-with-dui-in-buggy/

Amish teen from New Wilmington charged with DUI in buggy
By Chelsea Simeon

NEW WILMINGTON, Pa. (WKBN) – An Amish teen from New Wilmington is facing DUI charges as a result of a traffic stop earlier this month.

John Byler, 19, was pulled over.

Rummaspringa?

 

[Prime Time]

Iowa feeling left out of the Dumbass thread nominates a candidate.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4980392/Iowa-man-leads-troopers-chase-BUCKET-LIST.html

Frederick Ray Jones, 46, was arrested for myriad violations on Thursday in Des Moines, and as he was taken into custody, allegedly told state troopers something they had never heard before: That he had led them on a chase because it was 'on his bucket list,' according to KCCI- Des Moines.

Iowa Sate Patrol began pursuing Jones at about 7.30am on Interstate 80 because his Sedan's registration was expired, per the local news outlet.

The allegedly intoxicated man refused to pull over, and other troopers became involved in the chase, which lasted about 15 minutes and ended only when officers used a PIT maneuver- they tapped the side of the car from the rear causing the suspect to swerve into a stop.
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North Dakota checks in.
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That's a man, baby. Why yes it is.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4980774/Man-arrested-trying-light-cigarette-nozzle.html

Skyler Whitebull a North Dakota man, has been arrested for possession of drugs after police first spotted him attempting to light a cigarette with the nozzle of a gas pump.

 

[Prime Time]

http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article179103036.html

Man allegedly full of holiday ‘spirits’ charged after singing ‘Jingle Bells’ through a bullhorn
BY LISA GUTIERREZ

Halloween is still two weeks away and yet Christmas fanatics are itching to fire up the holiday music. Maybe this guy is just one of them.

On Oct. 7, police in Iowa City, Iowa responded to a noise complaint about a dude who was singing “Jingle Bells” through a bullhorn and really ticking off his neighbors.

When police arrived the pesky caroler, 41-year-old Aaron Holz, had gone back into his apartment, according to KCRG in Cedar Rapids.

Police warned him about being drunk and disorderly. Then they left, but not for long.

Ten minutes later they got another complaint that Holz was blasting music from his apartment, local media reported.

Court records described it as loud, disturbing and annoying to the neighbors, according to KCRG.

With the cops at his doorstep a second time, Holz became hostile and reportedly dared police to come inside, reported KCCI in Des Moines.

Yeah, he Scrooged himself.

The police cited him for disorderly house. Then the people’s court of social media dragged him because it’s way too early for Christmas music, it decided.

“You gotta wait until at least November,” one man commented on Facebook.


View: https://twitter.com/ifyouseekjesse/status/919856554291154944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kansascity.com%2Fnews%2Fnation-world%2Farticle179103036.html

 

[RedRam]

Floriduh strikes again!!

http://a.msn.com/08/en-us/AAtBkp8?ocid=se

Florida Man Tries, Fails to Jump Canal in Toyota Corolla

Florida Man, you're no Bo Duke. Authorities in southwest Florida had to pull a thoroughly-ruined Toyota Corolla out of an area canal last week after the driver reportedly attempted to jump the watery 20-foot gap, only to fall quite a bit short in his quest to get to the other side.

As funny as that image is, it's the little details that add this story to the pantheon of truly great Florida Man stories. According to WFTX-TV, witnesses saw the man drive the blue Corolla up to the edge of the canal in Lehigh Acres and exit the car to observe the distance and ponder his options. Just why he was so determined to make the journey across, officials can't say...but they did note this all went down a few short blocks from a bridge that spans the canal for just such occasions.

After careful consideration, the man got back in his Corolla, reversed quite a ways, then gunned the compact back towards the edge of the canal. Careful observers of the photo above will note the complete absence of a raised lip or anything resembling a ramp—so it should be no surprise that he didn't make it.

The Lee County Sheriff's Department said the man was uninjured, though the Toyota Corolla was totaled. Surprisingly, the unnamed man wasn't charged with anything....which means he was likely sober during all of this, to boot.

Just like this real-life stunt with a real-life General Lee shows, it's not the jump that's the hard part—it's the landing.

 

[-X-]

Careful observers of the photo above will note the complete absence of a raised lip or anything resembling a ramp

That's so hilarious.
Not even a rudimentary understanding of physics.

 

[Prime Time]

Tucson, AZ checks in with a dumbass who used a blowtorch to combat spiders.
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http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41651046

Tucson, Arizona, trailer fire 'caused by spider burning'

A blowtorch used to burn spider webs could be the cause of a fire at a mobile home in Tucson, Arizona, officials say.

Fire crews sent to the scene on Sunday stopped the fire from spreading.

An elderly woman was carried out of the home by her son and neighbours, but suffered only minor injuries.

The cause of the fire is being investigated. But firefighters say they suspect a propane torch was used to burn spiders from under the trailer.
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Apparently the stupidity is contagious.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=7&v=dWqrez4P83I