Anyone grow up in an immigrant household?

[Angry Ram]

Anyone? Curious if you did what your upbringing up was like. Reason this thought came through my head was I noticed that I didn't get many extravagant luxuries as a kid. Always thought it was because I was in a lower middle class immigrant household. I never once growing up...

-Gone to a local concert or sporting event.

-Had a family vacation "just because". It was always b/c of a wedding, funeral, or to visit relatives. If there happened to be something nearby (like Niagara Falls) we'd take a one day side trip, where the people that would come with us constantly complain b/c they've seen it before. And these things NEVER happened during the school year. Had relatives of ours had not moved to Florida, to this date I would not have gone to Disney World. Which just makes me feel so dead inside, because I recently saw a family take their kids OUT of school, and surprised them with a Disney trip for no reason at all. Not a birthday, holiday, whatever.

-Had a birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese or similar place. Which looking back might've been a good thing, but as a kid? That was being a high roller in front of your friends.

-Took a special trip to any store with mom or dad saying "you can have one toy". I heard this ALL the time in the 90s and to this day. I was allowed to go to ToysRUs to LOOK, never buy.

-I didn't get my first gaming system until I was 10. And convincing my parents for memory cards was like pulling teeth. "You got the game, be happy". Meanwhile non-immigrants had memory cards and a fuckin closet full of video games. Until high school, I had maybe 4-5 games, pulled from the discount cart from Sears.

-Went to restaurants weekly. It was a once every couple months. Now that changed into high school and college. But man, convincing my mom to get to the TexMex place was difficult when food was available.

I hate saying (well OK not really) but kiddies today look like they have everything catered to. They have so much devoted to them, and it pisses me off. I didn't get any of this growing up.

Goddamn I'm understanding what the olds feel like.

 

[Riverumbbq]

You don't necessarily have to grow up in an immigrant household to lack some of the privileges we see accorded to others.

 

[Selassie I]

I'm kinda with River here... what does being an immigrant have to do with not doing those things?

What am I missing here?

 

[FaulkSF]

I agree with @Riverumbbq and @Selassie I , I don't think you have to be immigrant. I know there are others here who were abused or abandoned by their folks. That's awful, and if that's your intent, you shouldn't have children.

While it sounds like your parents could have done more to have fun and entertain you @Angry Ram , I hope they at least provided a safe household, food, and ensured you received a proper education.

 

[Riverumbbq]

I'm kinda with River here... what does being an immigrant have to do with not doing those things?

What am I missing here?

I'm guessing it's more of a perception thing based on pre-conceived ideas. I suppose some families/neighborhoods see it in terms of racial or color injustice rather than the economic disparity which transcends many communities, regardless of ethnicity. We can't choose our parents, nor can we always choose our home environment, especially as children, so we are all to a degree at the mercy of our surroundings.
jmo.

 

[Angry Ram]

I'm kinda with River here... what does being an immigrant have to do with not doing those things?

What am I missing here?

Typically most immigrant families from Asia are strict AF, and the first generation (like me) would be in a very rigid environment. All work, no play. To put into perspective, I remember in elementary my dad would sit me down and make me balance a checkbook. Math didn't click for me until college, so you can imagine how this went. LOL. Of course now I know how to do it and many people don't. So victory?? IDK.

I noticed families that grew up in the US with multiple generations established had kids that got to do all those things growing up. I didn't. And did it affect them as an adult? Some did, most are doing fine. I never owned a GameBoy.

While it sounds like your parents could have done more to have fun and entertain you @Angry Ram , I hope they at least provided a safe household, food, and ensured you received a proper education.

Oh dude. Education was priority #1. I mean I'm not saying I was deprived. But it was all small stuff. Zoo trips, state fairs, that sort of thing. A local morning radio show host (not exactly the highest paid position) recently took her 3 kids to Disney DURING the school year, for no reason at all other than for her kids. Not a birthday, not an achievement. No kid in my family would ever had that luxury.

I did get to go to Six Flags over Texas once. But get this, it was WORK to do that too. The local paper had a scheme going that if you found stamps hidden in the newspaper during a certain period of time, you'll get heavily discounted tickets. Man we worked that paper for months, and heck we even bought multiple copies of the paper to make sure we didn't miss any stamps. But bah gawd, all them stamps were acquired and I got a Six Flags vacation. Well, it was really one Saturday in the summary. But close enough!

I'm guessing it's more of a perception thing based on pre-conceived ideas. I suppose some families/neighborhoods see it in terms of racial or color injustice rather than the economic disparity which transcends many communities, regardless of ethnicity. We can't choose our parents, nor can we always choose our home environment, especially as children, so we are all to a degree at the mercy of our surroundings.
jmo.

Nah, nothing to do with injustice or anything. I grew up in a house. We did lots of trips, but it was always for a relatives. I was never allowed to go to an OU football game. Compare that to second generation kids get to do all that and then some. Oh well. I have money now so I can do whatever the hell I want! lol.

 

[AvengerRam]

Odd thread.

And while reading it, I keep hearing:

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RlNhD0oS5pk

 

[Angry Ram]

Odd thread.

And while reading it, I keep hearing:

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RlNhD0oS5pk

How's it odd? Not everyone grew up the same. Immigrant households are notoriously more strict and restrictive with fun on the 1st generation *insert county*- Americans than established American families with multiple generations. Hell I still get looks from them when I go to comic con.

Great song tho.

 

[CGI_Ram]

I learned a lot after I grew up…

Almost all my clothes were hand me down. My first pair of Nike’s were used, already had wear, but they were sweepers and my family couldn’t afford that.

We’d have pancakes for dinner and I’d think it was a treat, but I learned since my folks were waiting for Dad to be paid.

I think they thinned down maple syrup with corn syrup to spread it out. All sorts of stuff I learned after I got older.

I thought I was upper middle class through it all. Amazing parents... I felt I had everything, but looking back they had to make a lot of things work.

Don’t feel sorry for me. I had it great. But it was probably more about what I valued and what I valued I was filthy rich; the best family.

 

[Angry Ram]

I learned a lot after I grew up…

Almost all my clothes were hand me down. My first pair of Nike’s were used, already had wear, but they were sweepers and my family couldn’t afford that.

We’d have pancakes for dinner and I’d think it was a treat, but I learned since my folks were waiting for Dad to be paid.

I think they thinned down maple syrup with corn syrup to spread it out. All sorts of stuff I learned after I got older.

I thought I was upper middle class through it all. Amazing parents... I felt I had everything, but looking back they had to make a lot of things work.

Don’t feel sorry for me. I had it great. But it was probably more about what I valued and what I valued I was filthy rich; the best family.

Same. Eating out was a huge deal for me. It was basic texmex or pizza but damn it felt good.

Nowadays whole families go out multiple times a week.

I mean we weren't poor. Money was budgeted well. I did get to go to Disney. At 21 years old. Because we had relatives in Florida. If not for that, I still wouldn't have gone. Unlike my friends daughter who got to...at THREE YEARS OLD!

 

[yrba1]

I grew up in an immigrant household with Filipino parents: They were strict af and frustrating at times but I wouldn’t go back asking to live differently, they taught me a level-headed perspective and raised me right. A lot of my fun and shenanigans occurred when I left to study at the university.

Immigrant households and rigid strictness are not mutually exclusive, just ask wealthy families wanting to paint their children a certain image to their likeness.

 

[Selassie I]

@Angry Ram

OK... that gives me a better idea of what you're saying now.

My oldest son's 1st two girlfriends were both from India. I got a chance to see what you're talking about first hand with the strict focus on school the parents expected from their children. Maybe DEMANDED is a better word than expected. It's really hardcore. Kinda shocking at first really... but I gotta be honest, my way of demanding good grades was hardcore too. Just different.

I really had a blast being included in their culture though. Their parties were so much fun. The girls were all required to perform awesome dances and they were definitely dances that entertained the men. I had no problem with that part LOL. Some of the games played with their large families were crazy... I had to get a toe ring off of one of the older ladies in this game that was kinda like musical chairs. They always had a microphone and planned videos... and sexy dances the girls would do on command.

His girlfriends didn't really enjoy it as much as the parents wanted them to. But the same thing happens with parents from the US. As the kids get much older, they appreciate some of the things they thought they hated doing when they were young.

From what I saw... the parents were trying hard to make sure their children would have a successful life. They held that up as the most important thing and didn't deviate from it ever. I admired their ability to stay on point with their plan. It's not easy being a parent.

So from what I saw... you got a lot to be proud of Brudda.

 

[AvengerRam]

How's it odd? Not everyone grew up the same. Immigrant households are notoriously more strict and restrictive with fun on the 1st generation *insert county*- Americans than established American families with multiple generations. Hell I still get looks from them when I go to comic con.

Great song tho.

My upbringing was different from many described here, but I don’t know that it’s a function of the country where my parents were born.

 

[thirteen28]

Does one parent being an immigrant count? My mother's family defected from East Germany when she was 10 and they came over here when she was 16. That being said, I don't think my experience was much different than that of my peers.

 

[FaulkSF]

My upbringing was different from many described here, but I don’t know that it’s a function of the country where my parents were born.

Are you saying it's more about culture than immigration?

 

[Angry Ram]

I grew up in an immigrant household with Filipino parents: They were strict af and frustrating at times but I wouldn’t go back asking to live differently, they taught me a level-headed perspective and raised me right. A lot of my fun and shenanigans occurred when I left to study at the university.

Immigrant households and rigid strictness are not mutually exclusive, just ask wealthy families wanting to paint their children a certain image to their likeness.

Wealthy families give everything to their kids. Not after an achievement or earning it. And I'm not talking about participation trophies. They are the ones that can get to USC or UT without worrying if their kid takes a pointless program like Robo-American Studies (Futurama reference).

BTW, you probably already seen him, but if you're into stand up comedy, Jo Koy has a ton of good stuff of growing up Filipino .

@Angry Ram

OK... that gives me a better idea of what you're saying now.

My oldest son's 1st two girlfriends were both from India. I got a chance to see what you're talking about first hand with the strict focus on school the parents expected from their children. Maybe DEMANDED is a better word than expected. It's really hardcore. Kinda shocking at first really... but I gotta be honest, my way of demanding good grades was hardcore too. Just different.

I really had a blast being included in their culture though. Their parties were so much fun. The girls were all required to perform awesome dances and they were definitely dances that entertained the men. I had no problem with that part LOL. Some of the games played with their large families were crazy... I had to get a toe ring off of one of the older ladies in this game that was kinda like musical chairs. They always had a microphone and planned videos... and sexy dances the girls would do on command.

His girlfriends didn't really enjoy it as much as the parents wanted them to. But the same thing happens with parents from the US. As the kids get much older, they appreciate some of the things they thought they hated doing when they were young.

From what I saw... the parents were trying hard to make sure their children would have a successful life. They held that up as the most important thing and didn't deviate from it ever. I admired their ability to stay on point with their plan. It's not easy being a parent.

So from what I saw... you got a lot to be proud of Brudda.

You just made me remember all my cousins. Haha. But yeah, you're right. The running joke is that immigrant parents let you have 4 options in life: doctor, lawyer, engineer, or a disgrace. I was very fortunate my folks didn't care, as long as I did something practical and had a future in it. So I chose environmental and owning it. But in the community, the looks I get when I tell others what I do, you should see them. I can tell a lot of them are unhappy though.

It was a no-nonsense upgrading. Now though as we've grown up the next gen is getting to do what we couldn't do.

My upbringing was different from many described here, but I don’t know that it’s a function of the country where my parents were born.

Not country specific. It's hard for first generation immigrants no matter where they originate to make it here, especially the group that arrived from the late 70s- early 00s. To establish oneself and raise the first generation is tough, so in their mind their offspring must achieve the highest with no mistakes, no-nonsense. Established American families didn't have to worry about that from what I saw.

Does one parent being an immigrant count? My mother's family defected from East Germany when she was 10 and they came over here when she was 16. That being said, I don't think my experience was much different than that of my peers.

Depends on the year. If closer to the fall then yeah, you would be restarting. Early in the 50s or 60s? Nah, you probably were 2nd or 3rd generation and entrenched here.

 

[AvengerRam]

Are you saying it's more about culture than immigration?

Bingo!

 

[AvengerRam]

Wealthy families give everything to their kids. Not after an achievement or earning it.

You should stick to speaking about your own experiences rather than making claims about other people. Otherwise, you end up making unfounded and inaccurate statements like the one I’ve quoted.

Suffice to say, there are people of means who nonetheless raise children who understand what it means to achieve and earn.

 

[Angry Ram]

You should stick to speaking about your own experiences rather than making claims about other people. Otherwise, you end up making unfounded and inaccurate statements like the one I’ve quoted.

Suffice to say, there are people of means who nonetheless raise children who understand what it means to achieve and earn.

I been doing that this whole thread dude. My experiences to this day include observing wealthy folks and how they give the world to their kid, while myself and many other first generation Americans didn't get that luxury. That's the whole point.

 

[AvengerRam]

I been doing that this whole thread dude. My experiences to this day include observing wealthy folks and how they give the world to their kid, while myself and many other first generation Americans didn't get that luxury. That's the whole point.

Okay… I guess I’ll have to be more specific…

I grew up in a household that some would likely describe as wealthy. I, however, was not “given everything.” What I have, I’ve earned. The same can be said of my kids who, independent of my wife’s and my financial success, have worked hard to forge their own paths.

So, in summation.., don’t generalize other people.