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Make Us Laugh

Discussion in 'OFF TOPIC' started by Prime Time, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Prime Time RODerator

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  2. Boffo97 Well-Known Member

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  3. SierraRam Recreational User

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    The most underrated comic ever. Curley is the Man!

     
    #143
    rocknram29 and Prime Time like this.
  4. SierraRam Recreational User

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    There was a brief but memorable time when The Chappelle Show was the best thing on TV.

     
    #144
  5. -X- Not into the whole brevity thing.

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  6. Boffo97 Well-Known Member

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    You guys probably didn't know this, but some years ago, I was the dictator of a small country. I had to sentence three criminals. One was a Cardinals fan, one was a Seahawks fan, and one was a Niners fan.

    I told them "Tell you what, guys. I have some mercy. Your sentence is 10 years, but you get to bring one thing with you into captivity to make the time go faster. BUT, you can't take anything that someone else already took. Cardinals fan, I hate you least, so you go first."

    The Cardinals fan responds "Oh, that's easy. I'll take my wife with me." I agreed, and he was escorted off. I then asked the Seahawks fan what he wanted.

    The Seahawks fan responds "Well, if he already took wife, then I guess I want a library of books to read while I'm in captivity." I agreed, and he was escorted off.

    "Your turn." I said to the Niners fan.

    He really didn't know what to pick, and was hemming and hawing. So I bellowed out "Pick something!"

    He finally blurts out "Um... um... a supply of cigarettes during my time in prison!" I agreed, and he was escorted off.

    I recently got letters from the three after they were released.

    The Cardinals fan wrote me saying "Oh, thank you so very much! Thanks to all the attention I was able to give my wife, we're more in love than ever, and we have a beautiful family full of the most amazing kids! Thank you!"

    The Seahawks fan wrote me saying "Thank you! I thought this sentence would be terrible, but I've read all these books and I've grown very wise! I've also got some ideas on how to make lots of money! Thanks again!"

    The Niners fan's letter simply read "Does ANYONE have a light?!?!?!?!"
     
    #146
    CGI_Ram, Dodgersrf and Prime Time like this.
  7. Dieter the Brock SON OF JEN-ORIS

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    One of my favorite skits of all time - perfect for Father's Day

     
    #147
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  8. -X- Not into the whole brevity thing.

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    #148
    Username, thirteen28 and Prime Time like this.
  9. Tron Fights for the User

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    Love this movie, so damn funny.

     
    #149
    Dieter the Brock and Prime Time like this.
  10. RamzFanz Well-Known Member Pit Boss

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    Happy Father's Day
     
    #150
    Prime Time likes this.
  11. -X- Not into the whole brevity thing.

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    #151
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  12. Sum1 Well-Known Member

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    #152
    Selassie I likes this.
  13. Faceplant Well-Known Member

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    This thread delivers.....

     
    #153
    Prime Time and -X- like this.
  14. Prime Time RODerator

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  15. Mojo Ram On double secret probation

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  16. thirteen28 Hey Beavis, he said "member"

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    Well, it's World Cup time. Some will find this one stupid, others will find it utterly hilarious.

     
    #156
  17. SierraRam Recreational User

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    #157
    thirteen28 likes this.
  18. brokeu91 Well-Known Member

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    I could watch that episode 3 million times and still laugh out loud
     
    #158
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  19. -X- Not into the whole brevity thing.

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    Miss Nevada doesn't know the Capital of Nevada.

    [parsehtml]<iframe id="kaltura_player_1403060002" height="360" width="640" style="border: 0px solid #ffffff;" src="http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/kwidget/wid/1_jfp0ja0l/uiconf_id/6740162/st_cache/16795?&amp;">Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames.</iframe>[/parsehtml]
     
    #159
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  20. thirteen28 Hey Beavis, he said "member"

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    Despite her not knowing the capital of her own state, I somehow get the feeling she'll land on her feet in life ... (y)
     
    #160
    SierraRam likes this.