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Make Us Laugh

Discussion in 'OFF TOPIC' started by Prime Time, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Prime Time

    RODerator
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  2. Boffo97

    Still legal in 17 states!
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  3. SierraRam

    Recreational User
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    The most underrated comic ever. Curley is the Man!

     
    rocknram29 and Prime Time like this.
  4. SierraRam

    Recreational User
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    There was a brief but memorable time when The Chappelle Show was the best thing on TV.

     
  5. -X-

    -X-
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  6. Boffo97

    Still legal in 17 states!
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    You guys probably didn't know this, but some years ago, I was the dictator of a small country. I had to sentence three criminals. One was a Cardinals fan, one was a Seahawks fan, and one was a Niners fan.

    I told them "Tell you what, guys. I have some mercy. Your sentence is 10 years, but you get to bring one thing with you into captivity to make the time go faster. BUT, you can't take anything that someone else already took. Cardinals fan, I hate you least, so you go first."

    The Cardinals fan responds "Oh, that's easy. I'll take my wife with me." I agreed, and he was escorted off. I then asked the Seahawks fan what he wanted.

    The Seahawks fan responds "Well, if he already took wife, then I guess I want a library of books to read while I'm in captivity." I agreed, and he was escorted off.

    "Your turn." I said to the Niners fan.

    He really didn't know what to pick, and was hemming and hawing. So I bellowed out "Pick something!"

    He finally blurts out "Um... um... a supply of cigarettes during my time in prison!" I agreed, and he was escorted off.

    I recently got letters from the three after they were released.

    The Cardinals fan wrote me saying "Oh, thank you so very much! Thanks to all the attention I was able to give my wife, we're more in love than ever, and we have a beautiful family full of the most amazing kids! Thank you!"

    The Seahawks fan wrote me saying "Thank you! I thought this sentence would be terrible, but I've read all these books and I've grown very wise! I've also got some ideas on how to make lots of money! Thanks again!"

    The Niners fan's letter simply read "Does ANYONE have a light?!?!?!?!"
     
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  7. Dieter the Brock

    Jared the Goff
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    One of my favorite skits of all time - perfect for Father's Day

     
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  8. -X-

    -X-
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    Username, thirteen28 and Prime Time like this.
  9. Tron

    Fights for the User
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    Love this movie, so damn funny.

     
  10. RamzFanz

    Bold Prediction - 2016 = 11-5 Playoffs.
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    Happy Father's Day
     
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  11. -X-

    -X-
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  12. Sum1

    Hall of Fame
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    Selassie I likes this.
  13. Faceplant

    "Did I catch a "niner" in there?"
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    This thread delivers.....

     
    RamsFanCK, Prime Time and -X- like this.
  14. Prime Time

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  15. Mojo Ram

    Hall of Fame
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  16. thirteen28

    Hey Beavis, he said "member"
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    Well, it's World Cup time. Some will find this one stupid, others will find it utterly hilarious.

     
  17. SierraRam

    Recreational User
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  18. brokeu91

    The super shrink
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    I could watch that episode 3 million times and still laugh out loud
     
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  19. -X-

    -X-
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    Miss Nevada doesn't know the Capital of Nevada.

    [parsehtml]<iframe id="kaltura_player_1403060002" height="360" width="640" style="border: 0px solid #ffffff;" src="http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/kwidget/wid/1_jfp0ja0l/uiconf_id/6740162/st_cache/16795?&amp;">Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames.</iframe>[/parsehtml]
     
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  20. thirteen28

    Hey Beavis, he said "member"
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    Despite her not knowing the capital of her own state, I somehow get the feeling she'll land on her feet in life ... (y)
     
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