LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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iced

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2013
Messages
6,620
Iced - hilarious! Btw, know you've had it awhile, (and IIRC had a little help - apologies if my memory sucks), but your avatar is killer, especially given your username.

lol thanks - yea @-X- made it for me.

I used to just have an ice sculpture of a Ram, but X sexy'ed it up for me
 

dieterbrock

Rams On Demand Sponsor
Rams On Demand Sponsor
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
22,994
Little boy is sitting on a bench in the park, eating chocolate bars one after the other.
An older gentleman stops over and says, "Son, I could help but notice how many chocolate bars you've eaten. You know its not healthy to eat like that, right??"
The little boy responds, "Well, my grandmother lived to be 102 years old"
The gentleman responds, "Did she live that long becasue she ate all of those chocolate bars??"
To which the little boy answered,
"No, because she minded her own god dammed business!!!"
 

Memphis Ram

Legend
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
6,799
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Mackeyser

Supernovas are where gold forms; the only place.
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
14,168
Name
Mack
Found this anonymous post and I cried laughing, figured I'd share it...

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RedRam

Pro Bowler
Joined
Sep 28, 2015
Messages
1,905
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said...

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."