- Joined
- Jan 3, 2013
- Messages
- 23,150
Being Irish, I have an abiding sense of tragedy which sustains me through temporary periods of joy.
-W.B. Yeats
-W.B. Yeats
Influential Quotes
- Thread starter BatteringRambo
- Start date
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Mackeyser
Supernovas are where gold forms; the only place.
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2013
- Messages
- 14,206
- Name
- Mack
"Sports is the crucible in which we distill human virtue. The distillate remains are human vice."
-Me
"Frustration is just unmet expectation."
-Me
I know I have others... apparently, my kids have let me know that I've reached "broken record" level and when I challenged them, they literally went around the room "quoting" me...
Dammit...
-Me
"Frustration is just unmet expectation."
-Me
I know I have others... apparently, my kids have let me know that I've reached "broken record" level and when I challenged them, they literally went around the room "quoting" me...
Dammit...
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2020
- Messages
- 3,914
All Ron Swanson Quotes...
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.”
“The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.”
“I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”
“Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.”
“There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.”
“Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.”
“My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara… she goes by Tammy.”
“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.”
“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”
[On technology] “Tom, put all my records into this rectangle. The songs just play one after the other. This is an excellent rectangle.”
“Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.”
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.”
“The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.”
“I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”
“Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.”
“There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.”
“Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.”
“My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara… she goes by Tammy.”
“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.”
“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”
[On technology] “Tom, put all my records into this rectangle. The songs just play one after the other. This is an excellent rectangle.”
“Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.”
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2020
- Messages
- 3,914
More from Ron...
“I’m not interested in caring about people.”
“Strippers do nothing for me… but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.”
[On his drinking preferences] “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”
“I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
[On emotions] “Crying – acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
“When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”
[On dinner plans] “You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’”
[On his management techniques] “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.”
“If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”
[On politics] “The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.”
“Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”
“I’m not interested in caring about people.”
“Strippers do nothing for me… but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.”
[On his drinking preferences] “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”
“I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
[On emotions] “Crying – acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
“When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”
[On dinner plans] “You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’”
[On his management techniques] “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.”
“If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”
[On politics] “The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.”
“Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2020
- Messages
- 3,914
Last post for Ron...
“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
“Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”
[On America] “I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.”
“Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.”
[On art] “It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.”
“America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.”
“Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.”
“It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”
[On letting your feelings out] “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
“Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”
[On America] “I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.”
“Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.”
[On art] “It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.”
“America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.”
“Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.”
“It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”
[On letting your feelings out] “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
