RIP Grandma

[InnovatedMind]

Hey Ramly,

Long time no talk! I've been away because my grandma has been in the hospital for what seemed like eternity.


She contracted a weird virus called "C-Diff". It doesn't usually affect people SEVERELY unless you're young or old and fragile. Long story short, what was supposed to be a few weeks turned into months... those months went from bad to worse. She ended up being put on a breathing machine for the past 3 weeks... but she kept failing.

Today was the day that we unhooked all of her machines, gave her some morphine and let her pass peacefully on her own.

It sounds nice... and I was preparing for this for months... This whole weekend I spent day and night with her, talking about everything, the past... what her and I used to do, what she taught me in life... She never could speak back but I knew she was listening.

Today, D-Day, I went in 2 hours earlier than normal... and she had her eyes open! (it's been weeks since she did that). I was so excited, I had to take advantage. I played all of her old favorite songs, even song and dance music like Fred Astaire... all while brushing her hair, gazing into her eyes, seeing her look back at me. Knowing, by her eyes that she was happy at that moment. A moment with her and her grandson, listening to oldies together and talking about life like we used to

She couldn't speak, she could barely move the ends of her mouth... but everytime I talked about us, how much she meant to me, her love, her guidance... she would close her mouth and crack a toothless smile! (or attempted to).

It was good. It was peaceful and fulfilling.

But no matter how much I planned for months for this... no matter how many hours I spent with her just her and I... nothing could prepare me for that moment.

The moment where they take all of the machines off, unhook her mask... let her breath on her own until her ultimate moment.

I said I was strong, and I wouldn't break down. But damnit, this is my grandma... my mom most of the time... the person that never faulted me, never looked down on me, and always wanted to see me happy. My best friend.

That moment, when I was holding her hand, and her breaths kept getting shallower and shallower... her heartbeats slowing down... all culminating into that final moment... the moment where you see the line go flat.... and the constant buzzing sound with no beat... the flatline. Nothing could prepare me for that emotion freight train. It hit me hard.

My grandma, my best friend is gone.

I don't know why I'm posting this... maybe to vent, maybe just to get it out for some closure... I just couldn't write this on facebook.

RIP Grandma (Shirley Lain). I love you so much.




Does anyone have any books or songs that they read or listen to in times like this?

Thanks!

Love you all,
- Joe

 

[Rabid Ram]

Man I am so sorry for your loss..

There are times in our life that we are fortunate that the heart is the strongest muscle in our body. Because it is put to the test in experiences like this.

My family's heart goes out to yours in your time of such a huge loss. Know that my ear as well as many of your ramily's ears are here for you if you ever need to talk/vent/or just let it all out.

 

[LumberTubs]

Sorry for your loss @InnovatedMind. Sounds like you had a great relationship.

The joy from those last few moments together will hopefully replace the grief in time (or at least overtake it) and you'll be able to look back with some fondness. You're lucky to have had such a wonderful relationship with her; things like that are few and far between.

 

[Juggs]

Sorry to hear this. I was with my grandma a year ago when she passed. It's very tough to watch that matriarch pass.

The year anniversary just passed 10 days ago and I did my best to think of her every day. I would suggest it. I think it helped me. Thought with your family. Stay strong.

 

[Ramhusker]

Sorry to hear it man. Thanks for being a fantastic grandson to her at the end. Everyone needs that kind of treatment at the end. You'd be surprised at how many don't get it. You've always got a shoulder to lean on here at ROD. I always like to listen to this when I think of my mom and grandmother.
View: https://youtu.be/sMmTkKz60W8

 

[bnw]

I said I was strong, and I wouldn't break down. But damnit, this is my grandma... my mom most of the time... the person that never faulted me, never looked down on me, and always wanted to see me happy. My best friend.

My grandma, my best friend is gone.

She did great by you and you did great by her. You're the better for it. You won't look back on that experience with regret. Too many people stay away, clam up or give a half hearted effort that they will later regret for the rest of their lives. At 29 you handled it great. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[shaunpinney]

@InnovatedMind I'm thinking of you man, it sounds like you showed your Grandma the respect and dignity that she deserved. It isn't going to easy, there are going to be tough days ahead, but it really does sound like you were able to prepare her and yourself for her passing - I'm sure she was extremely proud of the man you've become.

If you ever need to talk, I'll be here willing to listen.

 

[Selassie I]

Sorry for your loss. Losing a close family member is the hardest thing to handle.

I lost my Grandparents several years back... and there's still not a day that goes by that I don't think of them. The thoughts of them are always comforting and positive. It's like they're still watching over me... and I know they are.

Stay strong.

 

[DaveFan'51]

My deepest Sympathies and Best wishes for you and your Family Joe!
I remember How I felt when I Lost my Grandma, I had to request emergency Leave from the Corps to Fly to Indiana to Bury Her! I Cried while I was making the request!

 

[Rmfnlt]

So sorry for your loss... you sound like a great grandson! She was fortunate to have you in her life!

 

[Memento]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to see a family member pass, no matter if it's their time or not. My utmost condolences to you and your family.

 

[OldSchool]

Sorry for your loss. Grandma's are special people to be cherished. I have one grand parent left, my Gramdma on moms side. She just turned 82 and has some minor medical issues, the ones most people that age have. We all make it a point to spend as much time with her as possible. I fear the day I would make a post like this.

 

[LesBaker]

I'm sorry for the loss. Positive vibes to you.

@Ramhusker nice! I had forgotten how beautiful that song was. Very moving in this particular moment.

 

[CGI_Ram]

@InnovatedMind thoughts goes out to you, Joe.

That was touching . While we likely can't say much to help you, that was generous of you to share.

We all have to deal with this in life. I guess that's the trade off of the good fortune to love someone so much. We would probably all be wise to remind ourselves that's where the pain comes from, and from that perspective, a blessing.

I hope there are others around to help in the days ahead?