While I appreciate everyone's input on this, it turns out that we're going to turn this into a ROD Weight Loss Challenge, and the winner will get renaming rights in his honor. This will begin on the 24th of June, and everyone is welcome to join. We'll be putting up a separate "sticky" thread announcing the beginning of the challenge (which will last for 4 months), and we'll monitor everyone's progress.
Those of you who are in optimum shape can serve as mentors or sponsors or something. Thanks for everyone's participation in this particular thread, and I hope to see lots of people lending moral support in this new challenge. It will be yet another way that ROD can become closer as a community.