Welp, this just happened. Geez....
Rams New Coaching Hire Poached by Saints
Saturday, February 6, 2021 2:37pm ET
Forget waiting for the regular season to start. NFL teams are now immediately stealing the Rams' new assistant coaching hires for the upcoming 2021 season as soon as they have agreed to terms with Los Angeles.
You heard it right, folks.
In a brazen unprecedented move, The New Orleans Saints have swiped newly acquired defensive back coach Izor "Iron Nuts" Griswold straight off of the Rams' coaching roster. Griswold was just announced this Saturday when the steal occurred.
"I don't know what else we can do to keep our coaching staff. Now our new hires are being taken right out from under us as soon as we announce them," bemoaned Rams' head coach Sean McVay.
One reporter asked him if being in and out of the Ram's building that quickly counts for the newly departed assistant as being under McVay's coaching tree.
"Maybe a leaf," McVay replied. "Or a worm eating the leaf."
When asked if he's ever seen anything like what's been happening, McVay reminisced. "It reminds me of that one play back in 2017 on third and 7 on their 42 yard line where we were running Tiger West Slot Z Left Cutback 12 in a tight formation and the Eagles' defender snuck in the back door on a free quarter blitz and hit Jared and disrupted the rhythm of the throw. When it's all said and done I just need to put our coaches in a better position to stay on the roster."
So it has begun. A brash new era of football where sinister vultures fly over the Rams' facility waiting to pick the bones clean of the youngest head coach in the league. McVay's successes have attracted several admirers who have now gone through curious lengths to tap the talents of his coaching influence.
New Orleans head coach Payton, when questioned of the latest tactic, only had this to say. "We wanted our guy, they wanted our guy, and he wanted to be with us. No harm, no foul." He then grinned as his cheeks puffed and heaved like the sweaty unwiped ass of a homeless sumo wrestler.
The big question is, when does the NFL step in and say enough is enough?
Roger Goodell, who is currently vacationing in Pyonyang, North Korea, could not be reached for comment. He has not been heard from for 3 days.