My wonderful mother

[Dodgersrf]

So I had tickets for the rams game in London this weekend and had planned a great weekend with a few friends. All the funeral arrangements will be finalised by tomorrow and my dad and sisters are all at home at the weekend with various family members and well wishers dropping in and out.

My question to you guys - if I go on my trip, spend a weekend with my friends and get some respite from all of this, given that the arrangements will be made and I’ll be back three days before the funeral - does it make me a bad person if I still go?

What would you all do?

Dad has told me to go for what it’s worth. I didn’t ask him, he just said ‘I hope you’re still planning to go’. I would feel guilty about leaving them at this time though.

I think you should still go.
It may help to take your mind off some of the grief for a while.
Anything that gives you some temperary relief isn't necessarily a bad thing. Some people may work more. Some may bury themselves in a hobby. Some may surround themselves with friends and family.
Don't worry about what others think. Its ok to take some time for yourself and do whats good for you in a time like this. Its too easy to get caught up worrying about everyone else. Which is what many men do.

 

[Dodgersrf]

That’s what we keep saying to each other - this pain is the price of love. It’s worth it.

Absolutely.

Some of the most beautiful moments in life can be sparked by loss.
I have some close friends that lost their 2 yr old son a few years ago. He was 1 month older than my twins and their playmate.
The loss affected so many people. The beauty came, as so many came out to support one another. People that barely knew the family were coming out to help anyway they could. The unity and compassion was something special.

 

[LumberTubs]

Firstly your Dad sounds like a top man telling you to still go, but maybe for your peace of mind you should sit down with him again, and your sisters, just to clarify that they are happy for you to go (which I'm sure they are).

Personally I think it would do you the world of good to getaway for a couple of days and that certainly doesn't make you a bad person. The mere fact you're asking us here what you should do proves that.

Finally, I'm sure your mum would want you to go and enjoy yourself as much as you can in what must be a really hard time for you.

This. Pretty much word for word.

 

[ScotsRam]

Ok I sat down with Dad again and he basically told me to stop being so fucking stupid and go to the game. So I’m going!

 

[RamFan503]

Ok I sat down with Dad again and he basically told me to stop being so freaking stupid and go to the game. So I’m going!

Sounds about how I level with my boys.

 

[Mackeyser]

@ScotsRam

I’m praying for you and your family. Very sorry to hear the news.

As to the game... when my daughter died, it took me quite awhile before
I allowed myself to smile let alone experience any joy.

I wouldn’t dare presume to advise you beyond saying that joy and sadness can exist in the same moment.

Trust your heart. It’s fine both ways, if you go or stay home. If you’re conflicted, ask her what she’d prefer. If she says go, then go and celebrate the moment and bring that joy with you. If she says stay, then stay and cherish that.

So much for not advising you. =)

Know that you’re in our prayers and if you need anything, just ask.