LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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Londoner

Twitchy sophomore.
Joined
Apr 29, 2023
Messages
2,433
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RamsFan4Life

Starter
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
808
Young blonde lady buys a sleek new convertible sports car and takes it out in the country for a nice drive with the top down and wind in her hair. She gets out of town a bit and the car starts spitting and sputtering and then dies and will not restart.

She jumps on her cell phone and immediately calls the dealership to complain. Mortified, the dealership sends a mechanic out to help.

When he gets there the young lady is obviously unhappy, getting hot sitting in the sun, outlook not improving…..

He pops the hood and tells the lady to go sit in the shade under that tree and I’ll see what I can do.

After a few minutes he walks over and states, “all fixed, you are ready to go”……

The women asks the problem, wondering if there was something she did wrong.

He then says, “no ma’am, no problem at all. Just shit in the carburetor…..”

The blond is aghast and exclaims, “oh my God!!! How often do I have to do that!!!”
After the service she heads into town and decides to color her blonde locks…..”Time to get some respect!!”

She has her hair colored black as a raven to get as far from blond as possible. She takes another drive in the country to celebrate.

After a short while she comes across a shepherd and his flock crossing the road. She gets out of the car and announces she has an uncanny ability to count things. She asks the shepherd if he would give her one of his sheep if she could tell him exactly how many he had. He knew he couldn’t possibly lose and said if she lost she would have to show him her boobs.

She agrees and places a finger tip to her chin and thinks. “322“ she exclaims suddenly…….

Thats exactly right!!” Says the shepherd…..take your pick. She makes her selection and after loading up and preparing to leave the shepherd stops her and states……

I have another wager if you are game……..if I can tell you what your real hair color is, will you give me back my dog?

Drums Eye Roll GIF
 

RamFan503

Grill and Brew Master
Moderator
Joined
Jun 24, 2010
Messages
34,856
Name
Stu
A girl is walking around the shore of a lake when she notices a blond girl on the other bank. She yells over, "How do I get to the other side of the lake?" The blond responds, "Dummy. You ARE on the other side of the lake."
 

dieterbrock

Rams On Demand Sponsor
Rams On Demand Sponsor
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
24,075
Aint that the living truth!!!
I spend most of my Saturday's preparing meals for the week for my in-laws. My wife brings the meals to them and returns their containers. Its not the grocery shopping that bothers me, its not a bother to prep and cook all day and it's no issue to spit shine our kitchen when all done. What grinds my gears week in and week out? Trying to find matching lids for the g-darned containers!!!!
 

RamFan503

Grill and Brew Master
Moderator
Joined
Jun 24, 2010
Messages
34,856
Name
Stu
Sammy the snail was really tired of going slow everywhere he went. One day he decided to buy a really fast sports car. On the hood he had a big red S painted to symbolize both Sammy and Speed. Here he is zipping up and down the road to all the envy of the other snails. Truly amazed, one snail looks at the other and exclaims, "Man! Did you see that Escargot?

Rimshot GIF
joke drums GIF by neomagazinroyale
Images Monkey GIF
 

norcalramfan

Starter
Rams On Demand Sponsor
Joined
Nov 15, 2016
Messages
1,796
Sammy the snail was really tired of going slow everywhere he went. One day he decided to buy a really fast sports car. On the hood he had a big red S painted to symbolize both Sammy and Speed. Here he is zipping up and down the road to all the envy of the other snails. Truly amazed, one snail looks at the other and exclaims, "Man! Did you see that Escargot?

Rimshot GIF
joke drums GIF by neomagazinroyale
Images Monkey GIF
Saw that in Trading Places years ago.