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Every mother-to-be deserves a celebration of her upcoming arrival, and the best baby shower is one that fuses elegance with good fun. Here are The Onion’s tips for throwing the perfect baby shower:
To establish a lighthearted, comfortable atmosphere, be careful not to invite any of your barren friends.
When choosing a shower theme, remember the old rule of thumb: laser tag for a boy, paintball for a girl.
Prepare a thoughtful goodie bag for your guests in order to keep up the ruse that this isn’t a thinly veiled shakedown.
Take some of the burden off the mom-to-be by sending out the invitations, fielding the RSVPs, and acting as a surrogate.
Wow the guest of honor with an open Similac bar and sumptuous mashed peas buffet.
Videotape everything so the mother will have a record of the high point of the parenting experience.
Instead of asking guests to guess the baby’s sex, mix things up by having them predict the child’s likely cause of death based on the mother’s medical history.
Put a modern spin on the classic shower atmosphere. Make it an all-inclusive gathering by wasting three hours of your male friends’ lives, too.