Looking down the Barrell of a Divorce that I didn't want.

[IowaRam]

 

[EastRam]

Relationships cant be fixed in a day, a week or a month. If it takes a year to get a divorce then both you and your spouse should work on your relationship for a year

We only discussed our relationship with the family member that supported our relationship not the people that were pro divorce. That was the first step to saving our marriage.

We stopped texting and would call instead. Texting is stupid while working on your marriage.

We seperated for a brief time and that further hurt our chances.

Good luck my friend.

 

[Snaz]

I would have still liked to reconcile the marriage. She never wanted to. She's in a relationship with another guy. What kind of guy would date a married woman? I certainly wouldn't. So for me there isn't any hope for reconciliation.

I don't even believe I'd be capable of forgiving her infidelity at this point. I was willing to try. But I have to move on.

I got blindsided by a facebook post by my brother in law. He mentioned hanging out with his two sisters and there was a photo of him and his two sisters and the guy my wife is dating. Talk about being crushed. It really hurt because both of them were supportive of me, but to see them hanging out with this guy and being ok with it. Couldn't handle it.

 

[RedRam]

I would have still liked to reconcile the marriage. She never wanted to. She's in a relationship with another guy. What kind of guy would date a married woman? I certainly wouldn't. So for me there isn't any hope for reconciliation.

I don't even believe I'd be capable of forgiving her infidelity at this point. I was willing to try. But I have to move on.

I got blindsided by a facebook post by my brother in law. He mentioned hanging out with his two sisters and there was a photo of him and his two sisters and the guy my wife is dating. Talk about being crushed. It really hurt because both of them were supportive of me, but to see them hanging out with this guy and being ok with it. Couldn't handle it.

Having gone through a similar situation, I'm going to speak with blunt honesty. Those are not the kind of people you want in your life. Move on ASAP. The sooner, the better. Leave the anger and bitterness with them. It sucks and it hurts but the sooner you let it go, the sooner you will feel better. There are good people out there. It might not seem like it but they're out there.

 

[Selassie I]

I would have still liked to reconcile the marriage. She never wanted to. She's in a relationship with another guy. What kind of guy would date a married woman? I certainly wouldn't. So for me there isn't any hope for reconciliation.

I don't even believe I'd be capable of forgiving her infidelity at this point. I was willing to try. But I have to move on.

I got blindsided by a facebook post by my brother in law. He mentioned hanging out with his two sisters and there was a photo of him and his two sisters and the guy my wife is dating. Talk about being crushed. It really hurt because both of them were supportive of me, but to see them hanging out with this guy and being ok with it. Couldn't handle it.

Time to move on. The sooner the better.

 

[Rams Until I Die]

I'm so sorry it's truly the worst feeling... I feel your pain. The whole reason I'm getting the divorce is because she was unfaithful.

 

[Snaz]

Got served 3 days after what would have been our 9 year anniversary. Since she has an attorney, I'm lawyering up too.

 

[Dodgersrf]

Got served 3 days after what would have been our 9 year anniversary. Since she has an attorney, I'm lawyering up too.

That's rough.
It's a shame. The lawyers are the only ones that will make out in this mess.

 

[bnw]

If your wife thinks her fugnuts is serious about marriage then that could be fueling this. I've seen women crash and burn when fugnuts says he doesn't want to get married and then she tries to work on her current marriage. I've seen couples split and make up under these circumstances. No matter the outcome fugnuts deserves to be introduced to Karma. Stay strong and I hope children are not involved. This too will pass.

 

[Snaz]

If your wife thinks her fugnuts is serious about marriage then that could be fueling this. I've seen women crash and burn when fugnuts says he doesn't want to get married and then she tries to work on her current marriage. I've seen couples split and make up under these circumstances. No matter the outcome fugnuts deserves to be introduced to Karma. Stay strong and I hope children are not involved. This too will pass.

No children involved. The 'friend' from Jr. high that she was talking to before she moved out, had an ulterior motive. He wanted to be with her. She dated him after she moved out. He wanted her to marry him. She didn't want that. The way she talked about him while we were together, I knew that they weren't compatible. She always kept him in the friend zone, and objected to my discord with her talking to him. As I knew he has been in love with her since school. She always denied that. Then when she first told me about wanting a divorce, she said I was right about him. She realized at some point she didn't want him long term. Supposedly they never slept together, according to my wife's sister. She told me that she wasn't going to do that until we divorced.

Afterwards there was a moment where I thought she would return. Then she started dating the other guy she had been talking to after she left. Her brother in law tells me that she isn't thinking logically and this guy is being controlled by her. She was very controlling, as was her mom and sister, but she used to tell me that she liked that I would stand up to her as opposed to all her ex's that she easily controlled.

If she wants to return one day I hope that God allows me to forgive. I have never been the forgiving type. But I id make a covenant of marriage. She violated hers. So I don't know.

All I can do right now is think logically and try and be fair. I sacrificed a lot for the marriage. I cashed out two retirement accounts of mine to helps us out financially. I used money from a insurance settlement for a car totaled to pay off debt. She had nothing when we met, to now she makes almost twice as much as me. So I bet my future on her and her retirement account for both of us. So I need to make sure that I get 50% of the equity on the condo, since that may be 10 grand. Yeah the attorneys will make the most out of this.

 

[dieterbrock]

That's rough.
It's a shame. The lawyers are the only ones that will make out in this mess.

Seriously
She's gonna get half of what's left after the lawyers get paid

 

[bnw]

Seriously
She's gonna get half of what's left after the lawyers get paid

Is that what the "no fault" divorce does? If so why pay the damn lawyers? Shit she left cheating on him.