Life Lessons

[Loyal]

My hope for you is that you learn something every day of your life, and that's what happened for me today.

I can think of two people who's work I admired greatly, but could no longer enjoy: Robin Williams and Karen
Carpenter. Some might include Kurt Cobain in this, but Nirvana was popular when I tuned out from music in
general when I was working 70 hours a week.

I loved Robin Williams so much and was horrified by what he did to himself. This unexplored feeling has
driven me away from enjoying his extensive career in comedy and film, until today. I decided to explore
why I felt that way and it was this: He let personal failures destroy him and deep down I feared that same
thing. I was embarrassed for him that he felt the only way out was hanging himself in a closet, deciding not
to reach out for help that last time. Through his comedy. I could always see deep sadness. No, I'm not looking
at my closet as an escape like he did. But I can say that during dark times in my life when I felt failure so
keenly or that life was passing me by, I felt similarly. My embarrassment for him, was really directed inward.

Karen Carpenter destroyed herself through anorexia. So talented...so gifted. She let personal demons destroy
her and I identified with that to a much lesser degree than with Robin Williams.

Lesson Learned: Don't let personal failure destroy you and don't let it define you. You have another day to
turn it around. Hope is a good thing.


Maybe you learned this years ago and so give us a revelation that happened in your life. Keep it brief.
Brevity is your friend.

 

[nighttrain]

Hope is the best thing..
train

 

[Memento]

My suicide attempt by falling off a bridge changed everything about me. I still have depression, still have crippling bipolar disorder and schizophrenic symptoms, but now I have to add in a wheelchair (along with all of the complications) to boot.

And yet...I wouldn't have it any other way. It changed me for the better. Not necessarily stuff relating to friendships; I still screwed up a few (not all, but I do regret the few I did screw up), but I was a better person overall because I came so close to losing everything about me.

I could've died, I could've had a permanent brain injury, but I didn't. I was lucky to be alive, lucky I'm still the same person I am, lucky I can still tell my stories to the world, asking nothing for me in return except for them to have donations to various charities. And...well, I guess it's selfish of me, but I want to be famous for writing books, famous for decades - possibly centuries - like Tolkien and Poe, like Stephen King will be.

So, what life lesson did I learn? Honestly, I learned that life is a journey. It's never going to be a fairy tale, it's always going to have riptides, hurricanes, fucking tsunamis that you have to stay afloat to survive just another day...but you have the metaphorical ark to stay on for those. I understand when things are terrible and cannot be fixed (Robin Williams, if I'm not mistaken, had mid-stage Parkinson's as well as potential dementia. I cannot fault him for not wanting to deal with those horrors.), but I'm not there. I'm not going to let death take me in its embrace just yet. I'm on that metaphorical ark, and while the various ocean disasters are there, while we all struggle to survive another day, I've learned that I'm not even close to them take me to the depths just yet.

 

[AvengerRam]

I don't get many things right the first time.
In fact, I am told that a lot.
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls,
brought me here.

- Ben Folds (from "The Luckiest")

There was a time I would not have appreciated those words. As a younger man I, all too frequently, indulged in second-guessing, wishing I could go back and do things differently, and regret.

At some point, though... I can't say precisely when, I took a look at my life, and recognized all the things I would not change. That, coupled with a simplistic application of the principles of chaos theory, resulted in an epiphany that made me truly internalize the concept of appreciating how we are the sum of our choices, our actions and our inactions. And, sure, we can fantasize about changing the past for the betterment of our present (Marty McFly style, I suppose), but it is much healthier to look at the good things in our lives and embrace the road, however bumpy, that brought us here.

 

[Tano]

I read somewhere that a doctor misdiagnosed Robin Williams disease.

I think the wrong medication from the misdiagnosis actually caused Williams to commit suicide.

I could be wrong about that though.

 

[dieterbrock]

It was Robin Williams/Karen Carpenter sickness that took their life, not some rational decision

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

Last fall my son Lincoln walked in and sat on the couch. He looked very sad. I asked him what was wrong and he started to cry. He said one of his football teammates and good friend ( let’s call him John) was talking about suicide.

I told him that if there was anything he thought he could do, to prevent it, that he needed to right away. I drove him to his buddies house. Linc called some other player/friends and the three of them met there to keep John company and talk him down.

He also told me that John didn’t want anyone else to know, not even his family. Linc decided to call the coach. Coach drove to John’s house (1-1/2 hour drive) and told John that he would stay and help him tell his Dad that he needed help. Which they did and he started to get the help he needed.

That is evidence of how vital support can be in these situations. It’s also how important it was that John reached out to someone for that support. If Lincoln hadn’t spoke up and then been willing to take charge to show this kid that he is loved, who knows what could have happened.

It opened my eyes. Recently some of my old medical issues popped back up. It brought back a lot of repressed memories from my childhood and I went into a deep depression for a few days. But, I remembered Lincoln and his friend and I called my doctor to get help.

 

[snackdaddy]

That fact that I survived the stupid shit I did as a youngster is my life lesson.

 

[RamBall]

My biggest life lesson was almost 19 yrs ago when I discovered that no matter how much I wanted to die, I could not ingest enough alcohol and drugs to do the job in 1 day. It was suicide on the installment plan and I couldnt take it anymore, so I asked God for help. I have not wanted to drink or use drugs since that simple 1 word prayer. Help! And now at 54 I am finally taking the steps to transition from a laborer to an office job where I can use what is left of the brain I tried so hard to fry.

 

[CGI_Ram]

View: https://twitter.com/iansteeleabc6/status/1661911904581763074?s=61&t=lgp1gRmUcyNSF5v7CIHwMg

 

[XXXIVwin]

I loved Robin Williams so much and was horrified by what he did to himself. This unexplored feeling has
driven me away from enjoying his extensive career in comedy and film, until today. I decided to explore
why I felt that way and it was this: He let personal failures destroy him and deep down I feared that same
thing. I was embarrassed for him that he felt the only way out was hanging himself in a closet, deciding not
to reach out for help that last time. Through his comedy. I could always see deep sadness. No, I'm not looking
at my closet as an escape like he did. But I can say that during dark times in my life when I felt failure so
keenly or that life was passing me by, I felt similarly. My embarrassment for him, was really directed inward.

Toward the end of his life, Robin Williams suffered terribly from psychosis and dementia brought about by "Lewy Body Dementia."

I love and admire Williams, too. But sadly the last couple years of his life were quite terrible, frankly. I actually would not recommend reading about it, because the brain disease he was dealing with was truly quite awful.

Anyway-- Robin Williams had unimaginable talent, and seemed like a lovely caring human, too. Toward the end though, he was no longer himself.