Ice cream man tries to get my kid in van

[RhodyRams]

In all fairness, I'm that trustworthy guy that the neighborhood relies on. If a kid misses the bus, they come to me to get a ride, so I understand the "I'm a good guy" mentality. They all know I'm a safe haven and I will let the parents know what is going on with their kids and how I resolved it. The parents call me all the time to deal with issues if their kids don't make the bus or whatever and they barely know me.

As much as I am a safe haven for children, that would die or kill to protect them, it amazes me how much people allow their kids to come to our house to sleep over with our girls and they know nothing about us. Some parents who have never met us don't even ask our phone number! The other night I picked up a girl. 12 years old, who had never been to our house and whose parents had never met us, her uncle came out to speak to me, which I appreciated, but he asked me nothing that mattered and when I asked if she had any food or medical allergies he knew nothing.

We would never let our child go into a home we didn't know well and I hope you don't either. Any home with a random relative like an uncle... no way. We solve most issues by inviting them here.

As a male, I NEVER allow under age females in my house, which would be common since I have two daughters, unless another adult is present. On the rare exception that I have to because they are lost or stranded, I make them sit on a chair on the porch while I call a parent.

you are smarter than you look bud !!!!

 

[snackdaddy]

When you're in business that caters to kids common sense should be the order of the day. If I had an ice cream truck I wouldn't let kids near an entrance to the truck. I wouldn't let them come in if they asked to see the inside. Perception is everything.

Thats a trait I learned at work. The prison I work in used to be a women's prison for 17 years before we converted to men. I never allowed myself to be alone with an inmate for any reason. My biggest fear was being accused of something I didn't do. That was life for a man working in a women's prison.

 

[Ramhusker]

In all fairness, I'm that trustworthy guy that the neighborhood relies on. If a kid misses the bus, they come to me to get a ride, so I understand the "I'm a good guy" mentality. They all know I'm a safe haven and I will let the parents know what is going on with their kids and how I resolved it. The parents call me all the time to deal with issues if their kids don't make the bus or whatever and they barely know me.

As much as I am a safe haven for children, that would die or kill to protect them, it amazes me how much people allow their kids to come to our house to sleep over with our girls and they know nothing about us. Some parents who have never met us don't even ask our phone number! The other night I picked up a girl. 12 years old, who had never been to our house and whose parents had never met us, her uncle came out to speak to me, which I appreciated, but he asked me nothing that mattered and when I asked if she had any food or medical allergies he knew nothing.

We would never let our child go into a home we didn't know well and I hope you don't either. Any home with a random relative like an uncle... no way. We solve most issues by inviting them here.

As a male, I NEVER allow under age females in my house, which would be common since I have two daughters, unless another adult is present. On the rare exception that I have to because they are lost or stranded, I make them sit on a chair on the porch while I call a parent.

Smart of you Ramzfanz. Three neighborhood girls came in my house with my daughter (They were 11 and 12) one day a couple of summers ago to get popsicles. I didn't think anything of it until one of them shows up in the room where I sit now on the computer. She says, "I just need a hug". I jumped up and went and got my wife with fright in my soul. All I could think of is she was going to go home and tell everyone Mr. Bo gave me a hug and I'd have no proof I didn't. It's a shame, years ago, I could have given her a friendly hug and a pat on the head and nothing would have been thought out of line about it but times have changed drastically.

 

[Stranger]

When you're in business that caters to kids common sense should be the order of the day. If I had an ice cream truck I wouldn't let kids near an entrance to the truck. I wouldn't let them come in if they asked to see the inside. Perception is everything.

Thats a trait I learned at work. The prison I work in used to be a women's prison for 17 years before we converted to men. I never allowed myself to be alone with an inmate for any reason. My biggest fear was being accused of something I didn't do. That was life for a man working in a women's prison.

We once hired a nanny who we later found out had spent 7yrs at a max security federal prison for being part of a gang that was running a meth lab and gun running. We let her go as soon as we found out, mostly because she lied to us and the company that we had check her out. She said she learned her nanny and homemaking skills while part of a prison program. I was more than a little surprised that prisons are teaching criminals of this sort job skills that put them with children. Do you think I overreacted, or were my concerns justified?

 

[snackdaddy]

We once hired a nanny who we later found out had spent 7yrs at a max security federal prison for being part of a gang that was running a meth lab and gun running. We let her go as soon as we found out, mostly because she lied to us and the company that we had check her out. She said she learned her nanny and homemaking skills while part of a prison program. I was more than a little surprised that prisons are teaching criminals of this sort job skills that put them with children. Do you think I overreacted, or were my concerns justified?

You were completely justified. I woulda done the same thing. I know its sad that these people have to have the label of being an ex felon. And the perceptions that go with that. Especially when they're trying to turn their life around. But they have a totally different mindset than you and I. They're all about manipulation to get what they want. They're professional liars and know how to talk a great game.

But all along their mind is working on how to manipulate a situation to favor them. Maybe they want to steal something. Maybe they want to have someone else in on it with them. Someone who might harm your family. You never know. Maybe she woulda been fine, but you can't afford to take that chance with your children. There are no do overs if something bad happens.

 

[Force16X]

We once hired a nanny who we later found out had spent 7yrs at a max security federal prison for being part of a gang that was running a meth lab and gun running. We let her go as soon as we found out, mostly because she lied to us and the company that we had check her out. She said she learned her nanny and homemaking skills while part of a prison program. I was more than a little surprised that prisons are teaching criminals of this sort job skills that put them with children. Do you think I overreacted, or were my concerns justified?

you can NEVER overreact enough when your childrens safety is involved.
not sure how you fathers are able to deal with your daughters and dating. i had the wonderful chance of meeting my niece's "date" one evening. i said hello and asked him to look at my niece. then I told him, "thats exactly how i expect her to come back tonight." she was with 3 other friends for a halloween party at one of their homes and the parents were present, but I was still nervous until she returned.

 

[Stranger]

They're all about manipulation to get what they want. They're professional liars and know how to talk a great game.

This is exactly what I realized. We ultimately realized that she had lied numerous times, and did it so incredibly well. That's what probably freaked me out the most. Besides, we calculated that she would have had her first child while in prison, and that didn't speak volumes with regard to responsible parenting.

 

[snackdaddy]

This is exactly what I realized. We ultimately realized that she had lied numerous times, and did it so incredibly well. That's what probably freaked me out the most. Besides, we calculated that she would have had her first child while in prison, and that didn't speak volumes with regard to responsible parenting.

If she wasn't pregnant when she entered prison I'd have to wonder how it happened. Did she get involved with a staff member? She could have had a family visit overnight. Some call it the conjugal visit. But most women don't have their men visit for that. Their men are usually either in prison or a convicted felon. Most family visits for women are their parents bringing their kids.

 

[Stranger]

If she wasn't pregnant when she entered prison I'd have to wonder how it happened. Did she get involved with a staff member? She could have had a family visit overnight. Some call it the conjugal visit. But most women don't have their men visit for that. Their men are usually either in prison or a convicted felon. Most family visits for women are their parents bringing their kids.

I think she became pregnant before she was arrested, at least according to our calculations.

FYI, the only way we found all of this out is we hired a PI (grand-mother who'd being doing this kinda work for 37yrs), and she knew how to dig. The nanny agency didn't know about her past until we found all of this out. She successfully duped them, and had been placed in some very wealthy homes previously. I never experienced a problem, nor heard of any past issues, but the huge lies were very disconcerting. When I found out that she had been arrested, I confronted her and asked her what she had done to get arrested. I was very nice about the whole thing, but I made is super clear that whatever it was she had to come clean right now.... whatever she did I didn't care, but I did not want to be lied to. Well, I later found out she totally lied to me, straight to my face, in a totally believable way. That's perhaps what blew me away, until... well, until I found out how serious her charges were.

 

[LetsGoRams]

Have you heard anything yet? Did the company or police follow up with you?

I like to think of myself as one of those 'good guys'... and would never ever think of harming a child. But just to protect myself, I'd never ever have one get in my car just because of what people might think. If I saw my kid in someone else's car, even though that person had nothing but good intentions, I'd still be pissed. Probably more at my own kid, but I'd probably be hard pressed not to get in the guy's face.

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

If he had asked once maybe twice then you could explain it away as someone trying to do a good deed.

But persistently asking and insisting potentially points to something more sinister.

Your Daughter did the right thing of course.

But it is possible that the guy was not too smart and time is money. He could have wanted to just do it faster. He may have figured he could get them there faster so he could move on. It may even be a company rule not to follow kids to their house when asked and he was nervous about it.

Either way your daughter is a smart girl.

 

[RamzFanz]

Have you heard anything yet? Did the company or police follow up with you?

I like to think of myself as one of those 'good guys'... and would never ever think of harming a child. But just to protect myself, I'd never ever have one get in my car just because of what people might think. If I saw my kid in someone else's car, even though that person had nothing but good intentions, I'd still be pissed. Probably more at my own kid, but I'd probably be hard pressed not to get in the guy's face.

The company hasn't followed up with me as to the result of their investigation. I just sent another email.

 

[Stranger]

The company hasn't followed up with me as to the result of their investigation. I just sent another email.

Lawyers probably advised them to remain silent, as they would be afraid that you may bring civil action against their client

Wonder if they fired the guy. If they did, that could be seen as an admission of wrongdoing, which you could use as leverage in a civil claim. My guess is that they are giving the guy sensitivity training and keeping him on staff.

But I would not expect to hear back from them. Unfortunate, but probably likely in this litigious society we now live in.

 

[Ramhusker]

I think she became pregnant before she was arrested, at least according to our calculations.

FYI, the only way we found all of this out is we hired a PI (grand-mother who'd being doing this kinda work for 37yrs), and she knew how to dig. The nanny agency didn't know about her past until we found all of this out. She successfully duped them, and had been placed in some very wealthy homes previously. I never experienced a problem, nor heard of any past issues, but the huge lies were very disconcerting. When I found out that she had been arrested, I confronted her and asked her what she had done to get arrested. I was very nice about the whole thing, but I made is super clear that whatever it was she had to come clean right now.... whatever she did I didn't care, but I did not want to be lied to. Well, I later found out she totally lied to me, straight to my face, in a totally believable way. That's perhaps what blew me away, until... well, until I found out how serious her charges were.

What is she doing now? Politics?

 

[RamzFanz]

Lawyers probably advised them to remain silent, as they would be afraid that you may bring civil action against their client

Wonder if they fired the guy. If they did, that could be seen as an admission of wrongdoing, which you could use as leverage in a civil claim. My guess is that they are giving the guy sensitivity training and keeping him on staff.

But I would not expect to hear back from them. Unfortunate, but probably likely in this litigious society we now live in.

You're probably right.

My guess is he's a contractor. Most ice cream men are. Which means they don't need a reason to stop using him.

 

[RamzFanz]

Lawyers probably advised them to remain silent, as they would be afraid that you may bring civil action against their client

Wonder if they fired the guy. If they did, that could be seen as an admission of wrongdoing, which you could use as leverage in a civil claim. My guess is that they are giving the guy sensitivity training and keeping him on staff.

But I would not expect to hear back from them. Unfortunate, but probably likely in this litigious society we now live in.

Looks like they are willing to talk and have worked with the police.

Brian,

Sorry for the delay. I was waiting for the police to finish up their report.

I did speak with the vendor that was involved in this matter. His name is Jim Wright and he has been with us for quite some time. I reviewed his file and he has never had an incident of any kind.

He reported to me that he normally doesn’t operate in St. Peters, but had a special event in the city, and so decided to operate in St. Peters for the day.

He said that the kids flagged him down and the kids asked him to follow them to their house so they could get money. He offered to give them a ride to speed up the process.

Jim is embarrassed and understands that from an outside perspective he was 100% in the wrong. He is sorry and he did not mean to cause any problems or concerns. I honestly don’t think Jim Wright meant to do anything wrong.


From a company and personal standpoint this is not acceptable behavior for any of our vendors and I reviewed that thoroughly with Jim. As a father of two kids myself, child safety is the most important principal for me personally and for my company.

Unfortunately I think this is a case of a person who does something with good intentions but the action is not acceptable irregardless of intent.

We have been in contacting with the detective who is handling the matter and both the company and Jim is cooperating fully.

After I have had an opportunity to review the police report on the matter we will make a decision on Jim Wright’s future with the company. No matter what he will not be returning to St. Peters.

I am very thankful that your brought this to my attention.

Sincerely,

Chris
Chris Long
President

 

[DR RAM]

He reported to me that he normally doesn’t operate in St. Peters, but had a special event in the city, and so decided to operate in St. Peters for the day.

Red flag. Big, fat, red flag.

 

[Stranger]

What is she doing now? Politics?

Good question. I ran the other direction. Politics sounds about right

 

[Stranger]

Looks like they are willing to talk and have worked with the police.

Brian,

Sorry for the delay. I was waiting for the police to finish up their report.

I did speak with the vendor that was involved in this matter. His name is Jim Wright and he has been with us for quite some time. I reviewed his file and he has never had an incident of any kind.

He reported to me that he normally doesn’t operate in St. Peters, but had a special event in the city, and so decided to operate in St. Peters for the day.

He said that the kids flagged him down and the kids asked him to follow them to their house so they could get money. He offered to give them a ride to speed up the process.

Jim is embarrassed and understands that from an outside perspective he was 100% in the wrong. He is sorry and he did not mean to cause any problems or concerns. I honestly don’t think Jim Wright meant to do anything wrong.


From a company and personal standpoint this is not acceptable behavior for any of our vendors and I reviewed that thoroughly with Jim. As a father of two kids myself, child safety is the most important principal for me personally and for my company.

Unfortunately I think this is a case of a person who does something with good intentions but the action is not acceptable irregardless of intent.

We have been in contacting with the detective who is handling the matter and both the company and Jim is cooperating fully.

After I have had an opportunity to review the police report on the matter we will make a decision on Jim Wright’s future with the company. No matter what he will not be returning to St. Peters.

I am very thankful that your brought this to my attention.

Sincerely,

Chris
Chris Long
President

I like his response.

Is his name really "Chris Long"?

 

[RamzFanz]

I like his response.

Is his name really "Chris Long"?

LOL...yes, I didn't even notice.