Dad is about to pass from stage 4 small cell lung cancer

[CGI_Ram]

Oh and... that's a LOT of money to be raised. Wow!

I think that shows considerable care for him by others. That's pretty cool.

 

[IBruce80]

@STLRam,
Really sorry to hear this.
Your situation has similarities to my own.

My uncle was diagnosed with motor neurone disease. It took him in less than a year with the last couple of months seeing him rapidly deteriorate.
At that time in my life it was my mum and I, my uncle lived nearby and would visit regularly.
My uncle passed in Jan 2013. This had affected my mum a lot.
She was rushed to hospital and diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She lived only 3 weeks after first beginning to feel ill. Passed December 2013.

I have no brothers or sisters, just our little dog at the time.

It might be hard to believe now but you'll be OK. Life's experiences test us and it's how we deal with them that shapes us as a person.

 

[STLRam]

I’m going to post something that many of you probably won’t believe, and after thinking about what happened it would be hard for me to believe too if I wasn’t there.

About an hour before my dad passed away, and at this point my Dad was sleeping but unresponsive when anyone would try to wake him up, my mom left to get some new sheets for his bed to make him more comfortable. Before she left, she told me that I needed to let Dad know that she and I would fine without him and that he needed to let go. About 30 minutes later, the hospice nurse came to check my dad’s vitals what not. She took his blood pressure, temperature, and cleaned him up a bit. Then I noticed that the nurse was parked in front of the garage door that my mom parks in and asked if she could move her vehicle. When she went outside and I was alone with my Dad while he was basically in a coma, I told him exactly what my mom told me to. I put my hand on his head, said that Mom and I will be fine, you’re sick and need to let go, and I love you Dad. After that, I sat on the couch, the nurse came back in, and I asked her how much time he had left...a few days or what? She immediately responded that even a day would be extraordinary. I then stared at my Dad watching him breath in and out, and within less than 5 minutes I noticed that he didn’t inhale for about 10 seconds. I rushed over and took my Dad’s hand. The nurse took his pulse, told me there’s still a small heartbeat, but within 10 seconds he was gone. I’ve heard that people in comas can actually hear what those of us in the outside world are saying, but I never believed it before my Dad passed.

I told this exact story to a great member of this board who I didn’t know before I posted this thread who sent me a private message about my Dad’s situation. He knows who he is and he knows how much I appreciate his support. God bless you brother.

 

[Dodgersrf]

I’m going to post something that many of you probably won’t believe, and after thinking about what happened it would be hard for me to believe too if I wasn’t there.

About an hour before my dad passed away, and at this point my Dad was sleeping but unresponsive when anyone would try to wake him up, my mom left to get some new sheets for his bed to make him more comfortable. Before she left, she told me that I needed to let Dad know that she and I would fine without him and that he needed to let go. About 30 minutes later, the hospice nurse came to check my dad’s vitals what not. She took his blood pressure, temperature, and cleaned him up a bit. Then I noticed that the nurse was parked in front of the garage door that my mom parks in and asked if she could move her vehicle. When she went outside and I was alone with my Dad while he was basically in a coma, I told him exactly what my mom told me to. I put my hand on his head, said that Mom and I will be fine, you’re sick and need to let go, and I love you Dad. After that, I sat on the couch, the nurse came back in, and I asked her how much time he had left...a few days or what? She immediately responded that even a day would be extraordinary. I then stared at my Dad watching him breath in and out, and within less than 5 minutes I noticed that he didn’t inhale for about 10 seconds. I rushed over and took my Dad’s hand. The nurse took his pulse, told me there’s still a small heartbeat, but within 10 seconds he was gone. I’ve heard that people in comas can actually hear what those of us in the outside world are saying, but I never believed it before my Dad passed.

I told this exact story to a great member of this board who I didn’t know before I posted this thread who sent me a private message about my Dad’s situation. He knows who he is and he knows how much I appreciate his support. God bless you brother.

I firmly believe, that most people here will believe it.
It must be extremely hard for the loved ones in our life to let go. Even when it's time for them to go.
It took my Mother 2 long years to pass from cancer. She couldn't leave her Family behind. (She is a mother, of course)
She spent months on very high doses of Morphine and Maritol. She spent most days in a fog of delusion. The day before her passing, she was unexpectedly clear minded. We had what seemed like, the first true conversation we'd had in months. It was as if she had recovered from her illness. I don't know how to explain it, other than she finally knew it was ok to go.

I'm sure your Father left a proud man, knowing that he left a solid footprint for his family to follow.

 

[ScotsRam]

He just passed about 3 hours ago. Even saw him take his last breath. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing to witness. Rest in peace dad.

I’m sorry that I’ve only seen this thread now, I’m in the exact same boat as you but a week further in. It’s amazing how much easier it will be next week for you than this week.

We had mums funeral yesterday after she passed last week from advanced colorectal cancer that had spread to her liver. The next few days will be a blur for you. People will be around and they will want to help - let them. Whether it’s practical support or emotional support, the more people who can take a tiny wee shred of the burden of your grief the better.

I personally found it very helpful to be actively involved in funeral preparations but not everyone wants to do that. Our funeral director took care of a lot of things but kept us involved with the actual decision making.

The funeral yesterday was really difficult but it was actually much easier than I thought it would be. There was a huge turnout and we asked the headteacher from mum’s school to speak (Mum was a teacher). It was really inspiring and comforting to hear about Mums career and how well she was thought of and stuff. We had people come from all over and that was really comforting too.

After the funeral arrangements were made I went away with my friends for a few days (to London to see the rams funnily enough) and it really, really helped. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself because that will be so necessary in the next wee while.

I know that nothing I write will be of any particular use to you at the moment but I found it therapeutic to post a thread about it here and obviously you have too. If you want someone to rant to or listen to you or ask questions of or even just to talk about something completely different, drop me a message and I’ll try to help.

Stay strong and know that we are thinking of you buddy.

 

[UKram]

I’m sorry I missed this thread too

Sorry for your loss both of you

It’s coming up to my mums 9year anniversary (Saturday in fact )

She was diagnosed with breast cancer and a very long and arduous story short she had had an allergic reaction to one of the chemo drugs and from the very first round she was on borrowed Time .. her state and story seems very similar to your dads

She died in hospital with her family round her I’m talking sisters their husbands their kids me my brothers my dad my wife (my kids were too young to be there ) and they eventually turned off the ventilator

Your description of telling your dad to let go really resonates with me because as they turned off the Machine I told her I’d never let my kids forget her and whatever happens after this life she will see them turn into people she can be proud of .. and it sounds Cliche and I’d probably not believe it if I heard it but one single tear rolled down her cheek and seconds later she was gone

 

[LumberTubs]

I’m going to post something that many of you probably won’t believe, and after thinking about what happened it would be hard for me to believe too if I wasn’t there.

About an hour before my dad passed away, and at this point my Dad was sleeping but unresponsive when anyone would try to wake him up, my mom left to get some new sheets for his bed to make him more comfortable. Before she left, she told me that I needed to let Dad know that she and I would fine without him and that he needed to let go. About 30 minutes later, the hospice nurse came to check my dad’s vitals what not. She took his blood pressure, temperature, and cleaned him up a bit. Then I noticed that the nurse was parked in front of the garage door that my mom parks in and asked if she could move her vehicle. When she went outside and I was alone with my Dad while he was basically in a coma, I told him exactly what my mom told me to. I put my hand on his head, said that Mom and I will be fine, you’re sick and need to let go, and I love you Dad. After that, I sat on the couch, the nurse came back in, and I asked her how much time he had left...a few days or what? She immediately responded that even a day would be extraordinary. I then stared at my Dad watching him breath in and out, and within less than 5 minutes I noticed that he didn’t inhale for about 10 seconds. I rushed over and took my Dad’s hand. The nurse took his pulse, told me there’s still a small heartbeat, but within 10 seconds he was gone. I’ve heard that people in comas can actually hear what those of us in the outside world are saying, but I never believed it before my Dad passed.

I told this exact story to a great member of this board who I didn’t know before I posted this thread who sent me a private message about my Dad’s situation. He knows who he is and he knows how much I appreciate his support. God bless you brother.

Thanks for sharing. And I bet you good money that the majority of people reading it have no difficulty believing it. I know I do.

 

[bluecoconuts]

He just passed about 3 hours ago. Even saw him take his last breath. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing to witness. Rest in peace dad.

Very sorry for your loss, if you need anything we're all here for you bud.

Think of it as a good thing, he was surrounded by people that he loved and cared about, and knew you were there. That's what matters, in his final hour he knew he was with his loved ones, and that was probably comforting to him. That's what I tell myself anyway, and it helped me.

Stay strong, man, and reach out if you need.

 

[RamDino]

We are with you, Brother.

 

[Ramhusker]

I’m going to post something that many of you probably won’t believe, and after thinking about what happened it would be hard for me to believe too if I wasn’t there.

About an hour before my dad passed away, and at this point my Dad was sleeping but unresponsive when anyone would try to wake him up, my mom left to get some new sheets for his bed to make him more comfortable. Before she left, she told me that I needed to let Dad know that she and I would fine without him and that he needed to let go. About 30 minutes later, the hospice nurse came to check my dad’s vitals what not. She took his blood pressure, temperature, and cleaned him up a bit. Then I noticed that the nurse was parked in front of the garage door that my mom parks in and asked if she could move her vehicle. When she went outside and I was alone with my Dad while he was basically in a coma, I told him exactly what my mom told me to. I put my hand on his head, said that Mom and I will be fine, you’re sick and need to let go, and I love you Dad. After that, I sat on the couch, the nurse came back in, and I asked her how much time he had left...a few days or what? She immediately responded that even a day would be extraordinary. I then stared at my Dad watching him breath in and out, and within less than 5 minutes I noticed that he didn’t inhale for about 10 seconds. I rushed over and took my Dad’s hand. The nurse took his pulse, told me there’s still a small heartbeat, but within 10 seconds he was gone. I’ve heard that people in comas can actually hear what those of us in the outside world are saying, but I never believed it before my Dad passed.

I told this exact story to a great member of this board who I didn’t know before I posted this thread who sent me a private message about my Dad’s situation. He knows who he is and he knows how much I appreciate his support. God bless you brother.

You'll never convince me that people, especially those on their death bed, can't hear you after being there with my dad when he passed.