It was the smirk.
I was on vacation with the GF in Maine last August (no kids) so we decided to do the mature thing one night and get ice cream for dinner. I ordered the "3 scoop" banana split. The girl behind the counter grabs the biggest oval shaped plastic container I have ever seen - it looked like it could hold one of those huge sub sandwiches they serve at parties. She puts about 15 scoops of ice cream in it along with all the other syrup and jelly-like fruit crap that goes with a banana split and...serves it to me with a smirk!
freak that. There is nothing more annoying than a smirk. Smirking conveys elitism, condescension, superiority and distaste all wrapped up in a single irritating gesture.
Hate the smirk.
So, I think to myself, "freak this smirking bitch, I'll show her", and I dig in. I make sure she is watching and I power down the entire mountain of ice cream. I spoon up all the fruity strawberry and pineapple semi-solid jam-like goo. I finish the banana, the cherry and then I tilt the food trough the whole disgusting mess was served in and drink the last remnants of the sundae. At this point I am freezing, I am beyond nauseous and I have to put one hand on my buttocks in a futile attempt to hold back disastrously spraying my shorts with a fountain of hot crap as I stagger back into line.
I look the smirker straight in the eye and with as much courage and confidence as I can muster, I say "give me another, I would have ordered two if I knew they were going to be so small". The smirk had turned to surprise as I devoured the first ice cream monolith and now she took on an expression of absolute horror as I ordered seconds.
Satisfied that I had thoroughly wiped that condescending smirk off that jerk's face I grabbed the second sundae, staggered out the door and deposited it in the nearest trash recepticle along with the contents of my stomach.
My GF, who had been silent throughout the ordeal, finally looks at me and says "What the freak was that all about?". I said simply, "She smirked".
Hate the smirk.