Why Your Team Sucks 2018: LA Rams

[XXXIVwin]

Remember: Deadspin does this article for EVERY team, so don’t bother getting riled up about it.

Personally, I find these articles hilarious and well written. The author (Drew Magary) is an asshole, albeit an entertaining one.

Magary really had to work to find flaws this time— had to pick on the lack of fans, the owner, the hype for McBae, the ATL loss, even the AD holdout.

Here’s the link to the 2018 version:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-los-angeles-rams-1828573405

The 2017 version is actually MORE fun to read, mainly to see how COMPLETELY WRONG magary’s predictions were. For example: Gurley’s 2016 season proved his career was over, McVay would be in over his head, Goff would bust, offense would remain putrid, Rams would never recover from Fisher. Also, the joke about McVay being too young is really fucking funny.
Link to 2017 article:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-los-angeles-rams-1797461976

 

[Loyal]

Remember: Deadspin does this article for EVERY team, so don’t bother getting riled up about it.

Personally, I find these articles hilarious and well written. The author (Drew Magary) is an icehole, albeit an entertaining one.

Magary really had to work to find flaws this time— had to pick on the lack of fans, the owner, the hype for McBae, the ATL loss, even the AD holdout.

Here’s the link to the 2018 version:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-los-angeles-rams-1828573405

The 2017 version is actually MORE fun to read, mainly to see how COMPLETELY WRONG magary’s predictions were. For example: Gurley’s 2016 season proved his career was over, McVay would be in over his head, Goff would bust, offense would remain putrid, Rams would never recover from Fisher. Also, the joke about McVay being too young is really freaking funny.
Link to 2017 article:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-los-angeles-rams-1797461976

I got through 3/4ths of it! *pats self on back.

 

[kurtfaulk]

.

I like good satire but that was not it.

.

 

[Mojo Ram]

He really had to reach this year. NICE

 

[XXXIVwin]

For those who’d prefer pondering why the Seahawks suck:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-seattle-seahawks-1828458697

 

[OldSchool]

These used to be great but the whole year especially this one have just been bad.

 

[I like Rams]

I thought you guys were just being too serious, but that sucked. The 2017 one had me laughing, but the 2018 one was just not funny. At all.

 

[1maGoh]

Yeah, he didn't really have much bad to say about the team or it's performance. He basically just said he hates LA Land rich people for an entire article

 

[bubbaramfan]

Loyal and anyone who read that whole thing is a glutton for punishment.:deadhorse:

 

[RamInferno]

The 2017 version is actually MORE fun to read, mainly to see how COMPLETELY WRONG magary’s predictions were. For example: Gurley’s 2016 season proved his career was over, McVay would be in over his head, Goff would bust, offense would remain putrid, Rams would never recover from Fisher. Also, the joke about McVay being too young is really freaking funny.
Link to 2017 article:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-los-angeles-rams-1797461976

Lol I love the fan comment from the guy who chose to be a Rams fan in 2002 just to spite all the people around him in Pennsylvania predicting a Steelers Eagles Superbowl. Rams beat Eagles in NFC Championship and Patriots beat Steelers. He could have chosen the Patriots! But he chose the Rams. And stuck with them through all the losing years. Then FINALLY he decides to cut his loses in 2016. The year BEFORE the Rams start winning again. Lol this guy just can't win.

 

[1maGoh]

Lol I love the fan comment from the guy who chose to be a Rams fan in 2002 just to spite all the people around him in Pennsylvania predicting a Steelers Eagles Superbowl. Rams beat Eagles in NFC Championship and Patriots beat Steelers. He could have chosen the Patriots! But he chose the Rams. And stuck with them through all the losing years. Then FINALLY he decides to cut his loses in 2016. The year BEFORE the Rams start winning again. Lol this guy just can't win.

Clearly the losing seasons were his fault. In order for the Rams to win another Super Bowl he must be sacrificed!

 

[bluecoconuts]

Phoned it in this year, was hoping for something funnier.

 

[ReekofRams]

When am I going to receive my check for having to read this garbage?

 

[Mojo Ram]

For those who’d prefer pondering why the Seahawks suck:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-seattle-seahawks-1828458697

The Bradford stuff is especially good
https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-arizona-cardinals-1828362528

 

[Prime Time]

The Bradford stuff is especially good
https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-arizona-cardinals-1828362528

Best line...

Sam Bradford will end his career having made over $150 million, and he’ll have done it despite having a skeleton made entirely of ball bearings.

 

[XXXIVwin]

Best line...

Sam Bradford will end his career having made over $150 million, and he’ll have done it despite having a skeleton made entirely of ball bearings.

Here’s the Bradford paragraph:

Your quarterback: Sam Bradford, who played the game of his life against New Orleans in Week 1 of last season, walked off the field without a limp, and then was NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN. It was the most Sam Bradford thing that has ever happened: one week of brilliant potential followed by sixteen weeks of private, intensive chemo treatments. This man’s knee is a wormhole. For all that, Arizona paid $15 million guaranteed. Unreal. Sam Bradford will end his career having made over $150 million, and he’ll have done it despite having a skeleton made entirely of ball bearings. Honestly, I’m proud of him. This is what all football players SHOULD earn. Make this man head of the NFLPA.

 

[XXXIVwin]

Satire works best when there’s a grain of truth to it. Honestly, I think the 2018 Rams preview didn’t work as well this year because the Rams just had an amazing season— first playoff appearance in years, coach of the year, OPOY, DPOY, fantastic off-season, and the promise of winning seasons to come. By contrast, last season’s Rams satire was funnier because, well, the painful criticism felt more accurate.

BTW— I didn’t realize at first that this series is written by the same author, for all 32 teams, every single year. Honestly, I think it’s kind of difficult to conjure up that much contemptuous scorn for every single team every year.

 

[Rmfnlt]

It used to be funny because we sucked.

Now it's not funny because we don't.

I did enjoy this, however:
"PAY AARON DONALD, YOU RUG-HEADED ASSHOLE."

 

[Merlin]

 

[DR RAM]

Remember: Deadspin does this article for EVERY team, so don’t bother getting riled up about it.

Personally, I find these articles hilarious and well written. The author (Drew Magary) is an icehole, albeit an entertaining one.

Magary really had to work to find flaws this time— had to pick on the lack of fans, the owner, the hype for McBae, the ATL loss, even the AD holdout.

Here’s the link to the 2018 version:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-los-angeles-rams-1828573405

The 2017 version is actually MORE fun to read, mainly to see how COMPLETELY WRONG magary’s predictions were. For example: Gurley’s 2016 season proved his career was over, McVay would be in over his head, Goff would bust, offense would remain putrid, Rams would never recover from Fisher. Also, the joke about McVay being too young is really freaking funny.
Link to 2017 article:

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-los-angeles-rams-1797461976

Started, but couldn't finish, too much bullshit in there. If they are trying to be funny, be funny, don't regurgitate a bunch of unmitigated lies. Not enjoyable to me. Thanks for posting though, I guess.