What blatant corporate lie irritates you the most?

[RamUK]

Please listen carefully as our menu options have recently changed' is annoying because if true, it would seem all companies do these days is change their fucking menu options every day.

We are experiencing higher than normal call volume is a beauty too. My bank is literally experiencing higher than normal call volume every time I call - which does tend to have me thinking that the higher levels are really the norm, and not what they were getting in 1967.

But I think my TV provider, Sky, pulled a rabbit out of the hat the other day telling me that my programmes were handpicked.

Of course they are Sky, Bob from accounting is sifting through all 12.7 million subscribers and wracking his brains wondering what everybody will like.

Then of course there is Demoff saying that he'd listen to the fans with the new logo.

Maybe he did and maybe he just thought 'fuck 'em' and it wasn't really utter bullshit.

 

[FrantikRam]

"Handpicked" may be a poor term for this and I'm not sure what sky is (I thought it was just like cable over here?)

But Netflix, Hulu, YouTubeTV and others have mastered that algorithm for the "you may like this" section. Could be that's what they're trying to say

 

[RamsAndEwe]

A week ago, Trugreen said they didn't apply preemergent weed killer because my dog was in the yard. I said that was impossible since my dog was at the vet, under anesthesia, getting his teeth clean.

Trugreen rescheduled and didn't show again. Trugreen claimed that they couldn't apply preemergence because my gate was locked. I said that was impossible because I don't have a gate. I don't have a fence. I guess those lies are just default excuses.

 

[kurtfaulk]

.

your call is important to us - yeah, sure it is. that's why they make you wait on the phone for 40 minutes.

and then some companies make that wait as uncomfortable as possible. varying the volume of the music, sudden increases in volume throughout the wait. trying to make you give up. the fuckwits.

.

 

[Tano]

The one that they care about their customers

 

[Force16X]

the stockholders {expect, demand, are obligated to have} better dividend results therefore the downsizing and price rising are necessary to meet those needs. (somehow companies have people believe that regular joes are the stockholders, wherein the real world, its buffett, bezos, gates, etc, who are the stockholders.)

 

[fanotodd]

We’re doing everything to keep our workers safe.
They matter to us.

That’s what Amazon/Whole Foods would have you believe. Don’t.

 

[1maGoh]

.

your call is important to us - yeah, sure it is. that's why they make you wait on the phone for 40 minutes.

and then some companies make that wait as uncomfortable as possible. varying the volume of the music, sudden increases in volume throughout the wait. trying to make you give up. the fuckwits.

.

I had a long ass reply typed up, but I thought better of it and I'll leave it this.

I'm on my second stint as a call center manager. First time was a small company, this time is IBM.

Your call is important to us. We're fucking trying. We really are.

 

[Mister Sin]

M&M melt in ur mouth, not in ur hand....oooooo I've been fooled more than once on this one!

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

Trickle down Economics Works.
Yeah it works in theory but companies are not required to let their extra tax savings trickle into the economy. They can and do keep the money for their own purposes.

 

[Angry Ram]

We're sorry for the inconvenience. Drives me insane. Just work with me after I explain my issue. Damn.

 

[Mister Sin]

I'll tell ya the biggest lie of all. As someone who has spent the majority of their life in Customer Service...."The Customer is always right."

Is some bull shit that a Customer made up! I've NEVER ever given a fuck. If the customers wrong, I'll tell them. The Customer in fact, is nearly always fucking wrong haha

 

[bluecoconuts]

Usually when they talk about their "humble beginnings" trying to paint a picture of them coming up from nothing while conveniently leaving out how their owner got some huge investment from their rich parents early on and had a massive safety net.

Bezos, Gates are two of the bigger ones in that regard.

 

[Angry Ram]

I had a long ass reply typed up, but I thought better of it and I'll leave it this.

I'm on my second stint as a call center manager. First time was a small company, this time is IBM.

Your call is important to us. We're fucking trying. We really are.

I always try to mention that I'm not mad at the person, but the situation or issue.

I finally got fed up with Amazon after them delivering my items to the wrong address 5 times in a row and was pretty damn rough on them. But I made sure to tell him, hey its not you, it's the company not doing fixing something they said they would.

 

[AvengerRam]

Social media sites claiming that they are content-neutral.

 

[RamUK]

"Handpicked" may be a poor term for this and I'm not sure what sky is (I thought it was just like cable over here?)

But Netflix, Hulu, YouTubeTV and others have mastered that algorithm for the "you may like this" section. Could be that's what they're trying to say

Oh yeh for sure even though there was zero I was interested in. Sky are like DirecTv, but much bigger.

 

[snackdaddy]

A big lie Target used when my son was a youngster. A certain bike he wanted had a great price. The sale started Sunday. They open at 9:00. I get there at 9:05. I ask for the bike and they say they must have sold out. I'm like "What? You opened 5 minutes ago. The sale starts today. I didn't see a line of bikes at the checkout. In fact no one is walking around with a bike".

Then he shows me this funky looking bike for not much more. I didn't want it. He said he'd give me a rain check. It was early December. I wanted it for Christmas. I ended up paying a lot more at another store for that bike. The rain check came in the mail two months later.

 

[CeeZar]

Social media sites claiming that they are content-neutral.

Pretty much anything the big social media companies and corporate "news" promote as the truth is a lie spun to help their preferred political institutions. Nothing else in the corporate world is as destructive.