- Joined
- Dec 22, 2015
- Messages
- 2,615
- Name
- John
Remember back in the day when the networks ruled TV? CBS, ABC, NBC...and then, you know Public Broadcasting. :flanders: "Why, young man, I remember having to get up off my keester to go turn the channel. It was brutal! Uphill both ways, back to the Lazy Boy."
That's right, Mortimer. And there used to be some really bad shows, variety specials, weird trick camera shows, and then there were those obstacle course shows. A guy would get pulled out of the audience, have to swing over water, crawl through tires, :homercrawl:and maybe get hit with a pie at the end. :burp: (mmm Pie!) All while a clock was timing him or her. Oooh the suspense. :mrburnsevil:
Well those shows were designed to keep your attention during lulls in the Starsky and Hutch filming, or Charley's Angels :yess:or something. Maybe during the summer. Then another show would take it's time slot, and we would all be the better for it's demise.
Well my friends, I have come to the end of my Top Ten season. The ROD executives called me into their office and declared that some punk blahblah503 has taken my time slot. "His show is more riveting." One of them said. "He doesn't use emojis as a crutch." another one...well...emoted.:rant:
"But...but...I was planning a whole series new Top Tens!" I declared. "Top Ten long snappers! What about the long snappers!"
"Roman, Roman. People want trivia polls. It's all the rage. Ramfan503 has captured the ROD demographic. Your lists..." CGI Ram looked at Prime Time for approval. Prime nodded, (It had to be said,) "Your lists are so early January.":headexplosion:
And so my friends, as promised earlier, here are:
Top Ten All Time Ram GUYS WITH FUNNY NAMES: (Short disclaimer: I tried not to go for the low hanging fruit. You won't see IPead, Jairo Peneranda, Fakhir Brown, Na'il Diggs, Rokevious Watkins,
alm: or Jermelle Cudjo, although they all came close. Fendi Onobun Michael Hoomanawanui, and Jeff Smoker were just ripe for the picking, but no.
These ten (actually 20, with honorable mentions) all have a humorous and unique aspect to their name. Not to mock them, you see. It's all in good fun.:mrburns:
I will also list my final top ten list in descending order, listing the player, or coach, and a small comment after their name. First I have 10 Honorable mention:
10. C Shag Goolsby. "Yeah baaaaby!" :banana:
9. WR Nick Toon. Hopefully he works his way onto our roster. I hear he plays great under the lights...wait for it...You should see Nick at Night.:shades:
8. RB Cleveland Gary. "Honey, isn't our little boy beautiful. I want to name his something wonderful. Something that when people say his name, they think, 'WINNER!"
7. QB Keith Null...and void.
6. DT Nate Hobgood-Chiddick. (Note: He could have been included with the "good" names if he wasn't so HYPHENATED!) "How's your chicken? Oh, we hobgood chiddick, as well as good pork and beef.":rockon:I did it! :yess:
5. OG Chuck Riffle. "But General, what do I do now. My chamber is jambed, and they are still charging!":wabbit:
4. Coach Hamp Pool. Usually happens this time of year. I recommend a heavy anti-bacterial product and good old fashioned chlorine.:jerkoff:
3. OE Red Hickey. Not the deep purple hickey you got last weekend?
2. DE C.J. Ah You Would lull unsuspecting Offensive linemen with the comforting letters on the back of his jersey, then BAM! :death:
...and the number one Rams GUY WITH A FUNNY NAME:
1. DT Jack Bighead. :baghead: Did I mention he only lasted one year? You know...the...equipment issue.
Thanks for sharing guys!:cheers:
That's right, Mortimer. And there used to be some really bad shows, variety specials, weird trick camera shows, and then there were those obstacle course shows. A guy would get pulled out of the audience, have to swing over water, crawl through tires, :homercrawl:and maybe get hit with a pie at the end. :burp: (mmm Pie!) All while a clock was timing him or her. Oooh the suspense. :mrburnsevil:
Well those shows were designed to keep your attention during lulls in the Starsky and Hutch filming, or Charley's Angels :yess:or something. Maybe during the summer. Then another show would take it's time slot, and we would all be the better for it's demise.
Well my friends, I have come to the end of my Top Ten season. The ROD executives called me into their office and declared that some punk blahblah503 has taken my time slot. "His show is more riveting." One of them said. "He doesn't use emojis as a crutch." another one...well...emoted.:rant:
"But...but...I was planning a whole series new Top Tens!" I declared. "Top Ten long snappers! What about the long snappers!"
"Roman, Roman. People want trivia polls. It's all the rage. Ramfan503 has captured the ROD demographic. Your lists..." CGI Ram looked at Prime Time for approval. Prime nodded, (It had to be said,) "Your lists are so early January.":headexplosion:
And so my friends, as promised earlier, here are:
Top Ten All Time Ram GUYS WITH FUNNY NAMES: (Short disclaimer: I tried not to go for the low hanging fruit. You won't see IPead, Jairo Peneranda, Fakhir Brown, Na'il Diggs, Rokevious Watkins,
alm: or Jermelle Cudjo, although they all came close. Fendi Onobun Michael Hoomanawanui, and Jeff Smoker were just ripe for the picking, but no. These ten (actually 20, with honorable mentions) all have a humorous and unique aspect to their name. Not to mock them, you see. It's all in good fun.:mrburns:
I will also list my final top ten list in descending order, listing the player, or coach, and a small comment after their name. First I have 10 Honorable mention:
- OG Ritchie Incognito. In-cog-ni-to: The act of concealing one's identity. Oh the rich irony. :fighting:
- DB Claude Crabb. I tried that, but ultimately had to go see the ships doctor for an ointment.:snicker:
- RB Trung Canidate. Please don't pull the lever for this Canidate ever again!:huh:
- WR Yo Murphy. "Yo, you suck. Coach wants to see you. Bring your playbook."alm:
- CB Dre Bly. Is this some awful word scramble...uh...Blerdy?
- DT Leger Douzable. Wow. Thanks mom and dad.
- RB Skeets Quinlan. Sounds like a street tough in a '40s gangster movie.:double:
- DE Charlie Toogood. Really, is there such a thing in football as "too good"...he lasted one year.
- RB Joey Goodspeed. Due to a misunderstanding in the reporting of his :40 speed at the combine, he was passed through. His name belied his talents.
- RB Owen Goodnight. "I'm sorry son. You didn't make the team. Oh-and-goodnight."
10. C Shag Goolsby. "Yeah baaaaby!" :banana:
9. WR Nick Toon. Hopefully he works his way onto our roster. I hear he plays great under the lights...wait for it...You should see Nick at Night.:shades:
8. RB Cleveland Gary. "Honey, isn't our little boy beautiful. I want to name his something wonderful. Something that when people say his name, they think, 'WINNER!"
7. QB Keith Null...and void.
6. DT Nate Hobgood-Chiddick. (Note: He could have been included with the "good" names if he wasn't so HYPHENATED!) "How's your chicken? Oh, we hobgood chiddick, as well as good pork and beef.":rockon:I did it! :yess:
5. OG Chuck Riffle. "But General, what do I do now. My chamber is jambed, and they are still charging!":wabbit:
4. Coach Hamp Pool. Usually happens this time of year. I recommend a heavy anti-bacterial product and good old fashioned chlorine.:jerkoff:
3. OE Red Hickey. Not the deep purple hickey you got last weekend?
2. DE C.J. Ah You Would lull unsuspecting Offensive linemen with the comforting letters on the back of his jersey, then BAM! :death:
...and the number one Rams GUY WITH A FUNNY NAME:
1. DT Jack Bighead. :baghead: Did I mention he only lasted one year? You know...the...equipment issue.
Thanks for sharing guys!:cheers:
