The Lucky 09

[Badfinger]

So, I'm not really a jersey guy. Very few players over the years have inspired me enough to buy, much less wear another man's name on my shirt. I have a Nolan Ryan and a signed Jack Youngblood, the only 2 cats you could say were 'heroes' of mine from my youth. Then this last September, my wife starts putting pressure on me to come up with things I want for Christmas, as my mother-in-law (a real sweetheart) was determined to spoil me. After I delivered one of my famous, long blank looks, she asked brightly if I wanted a Rams jersey. (It was her mother, you see, that got me the Younglood jersey years ago. Of course, it being signed, I never wore it.) I rolled with this, as it seemed a promising way to shorten the conversation. Again, not being interested in wearing someone else's number, I suggested a personalized one. She asked what number, I told her '9'. Fast forward to Christmas Day, and with much fanfare, I open my package...and the beautiful, bone-colored Rams jersey, with my name proudly on the back...and the number '09'. Without skipping a beat, I donned the funny-lookin thing and rode out the rest of Christmas day. On the ride home, still wearing the jersey, mind you, I slipped up and revealed to my wife her inadvertent gaffe. I should have kept my fukin mouth shut, but I couldn't, because I'm stupid. So now she's all upset, kicking herself all the way home. And as the days go by, she won't let it go, and now I'm startin to feel bad. So I wear it for the Cardinals playoff game...well, you can probably guess the rest. The 09 jersey is now 3-0. The Lucky 09. And ya, I'll be wearing that goofy fuckin thing to work tomorrow, to show it off to all the Whiner fans. And I'll put it on again in two weeks, when we beat the brakes off the Bangles.