Fishing for thoughts - RE: Family and moving to a new city (maybe)

[Angry Ram]

Hey guys, so for the month of June I was in Houston trying to find my first real job. I had some success (I potentially can be one of the new hires for a brand new facility) but for the most part, almost all positions required a decade of experience or more. However, that isn't the point of this thread.

If I get hired at that new place, or another company I would obviously need to relocate there. Which normally wouldn't be a problem, because I have family in Houston. Sounds great, right? Family, so I have a place to stay. WRONG. I do not co-exist well with my family. My cousin is an egoist. Everything he thinks he believes is the only and right way. He's on this juicing diet, and said I should go on it. I go, no. I rather just eat the vegetables instead of doing the work to blend all the stuff together and not feel full. He didn't like that. I told him I'm needing a new laptop, he was hellbent on me getting a MAC. I wanted and needed a PC laptop. Disagreement there. Also, his constant obsession with job talk. There is a time and place for work, and a 4th of July picnic during the fireworks is not the time for it (yes that really happened).

There is also a lot of anger and tension in his house b/w him and his immediate family (wife, parents, daughter) thanks in part to his ego. His wife is actually really chill and normal, and my niece just wants to have fun. Cousin always talk about work or school with them. Constant lectures.

My uncle? He has an ego AND is a douchebag. The dude honestly thinks he's God's gift for job placement. I went to his house one last time and he basically rode my ass that I was "giving up" when I wanted to go home and apply from there. Then proceeded to bash my hometown (sound familiar?).

Yes, if I get hired there I would eventually get my own place. My question is, would you immediately find your own place from the get-go or wait a while? I'm fortunate where I have my savings stash from my part time job, new income, and parental support where rent wouldn't be a problem. I love Houston, it's a fun city and know my way around it. My family, however, is tempering my excitement.

 

[ScotsRam]

You can make a life wherever you go dude. You can't make an opportunity so easily. I would take the leap and get involved in clubs or hobbies or something to meet new folks. Then you won't have to hang out with your douche relatives after work!

 

[LesBaker]

ScotsRam is right, you can be happy anywhere.

Your cousin sounds like my older brother who has essentially driven everyone away because of his asshole antics.

I don't wanna hear anything about asshole antics being fun either and yeah that means you @RamFan503

especially you!!

 

[Selassie I]

Moving in with him sounds fucking fantastic. :argue:

 

[Angry Ram]

You can make a life wherever you go dude. You can't make an opportunity so easily. I would take the leap and get involved in clubs or hobbies or something to meet new folks. Then you won't have to hang out with your douche relatives after work!

Making a life is the easy part. My question is despite them being family, would you immediately look to move in to your own apartment or deal with them while you look for one. These days its easier to find a place. Thanks, internet!

Moving in with him sounds freaking fantastic. :argue:

I did it for the past month. Had to get out everyday and go somewhere. I don't judge other people's lifestyles, just don't get in my face and critique mine.

 

[ScotsRam]

Making a life is the easy part. My question is despite them being family, would you immediately look to move in to your own apartment or deal with them while you look for one. These days its easier to find a place. Thanks, internet!



I did it for the past month. Had to get out everyday and go somewhere. I don't judge other people's lifestyles, just don't get in my face and critique mine.

I would get my own place. You can sell it to the family as you making an effort to put down some roots and really commit to the move. You'll need to be careful about singing a long term lease if there are e.g. Probationary periods at work or if you decide it's not for you and want to move back. Not sure what the law is stateside but it can be hard to get out of a lease. Apart from that, take the plunge - you've nothing to lose!

 

[CGI_Ram]

If you can; I would recommend renting an apartment.

This will buy you time to save more and decide where to move longer term.

Me personally; I need quiet time at home after work and on days off. It's the only way I recharge enough to be on top of my game. So... Living with people that would impact my work (due to the distraction you describe) is a big "no go" for me.

 

[RamzFanz]

I'm in the apartment crowd for the most part but, like as has been said, beware the lease you can't escape. You can also look at just renting a garage apartment or some such out of a family's house month to month to ensure it's all going to work, no lease, save money. Airbnb might help you.

You might also look at renting a trailer temporarily or buying an older RV. Many RV parks will rent by the month.

BUT, you could live with them and just stay the hell away except for sleep for awhile to pump up the bank account. Uber at nights or find a part time gig that keeps you away.

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

I would put up with the family until I had the job. Living in a city can be expensive. Just go out often and use it as a bed. Your cousin sounds like mine. I have two of those kind. You just have to go into it confident that you are superior and give off the vibe that you think they are amusing. Eventually they will stop.

I know a few people that got jobs at New businesses. If the place takes off there is great possibility of promotion when it grows.

 

[Angry Ram]

Thanks everyone for the input. Nothing is set for the immediate future I'm just pondering options.

I would put up with the family until I had the job. Living in a city can be expensive. Just go out often and use it as a bed. Your cousin sounds like mine. I have two of those kind. You just have to go into it confident that you are superior and give off the vibe that you think they are amusing. Eventually they will stop.

I know a few people that got jobs at New businesses. If the place takes off there is great possibility of promotion when it grows.

I think this is the way it'll happen, for better or for worse.

 

[Faceplant]

Lots of good advise in here. Definitely put up with fam as long as you can while getting started. My family is kinda kooky too, in fact I think most peoples are, haha....that's why I have a tight group of longtime friends. Friends are the family you get to choose yourself!

 

[RamFan503]

I don't wanna hear anything about icehole antics being fun either and yeah that means you @RamFan503

especially you!!

Oop - Sorry Les. Didn't mean to get you all chubbed up.

 

[RamFan503]

@Angry Ram Get your own place if you can at all afford it. Life is too short even when you are young. Not only that but family relations if strained only get worse with perceived financial obligation. You likely would be willing to offer a place to stay without thinking about costs but others often don't. It can make things worse - a lot worse - if they feel you now owe them.

You are striking out on your future. My suggestion is to do it without being saddled with any extra baggage you don't need.

 

[Selassie I]

Plus,,, how are you gonna bring the ladies back to YOUR place Brudda ?

 

[Angry Ram]

@Angry Ram Get your own place if you can at all afford it. Life is too short even when you are young. Not only that but family relations if strained only get worse with perceived financial obligation. You likely would be willing to offer a place to stay without thinking about costs but others often don't. It can make things worse - a lot worse - if they feel you now owe them.

You are striking out on your future. My suggestion is to do it without being saddled with any extra baggage you don't need.

That's another aspect I didn't even think of. Food, water, utilities. Plus I don't really like organic almond soy milk.

Plus,,, how are you gonna bring the ladies back to YOUR place Brudda ?

Yup. I'm sure that's a big hell no, considering I couldn't even watch the freakin Simpsons at their house.

 

[bluecoconuts]

I'd get your own place, keep a few in mind and if you get the job offer you can apply for one of the ones you are looking at.

 

[Angry Ram]

I'd get your own place, keep a few in mind and if you get the job offer you can apply for one of the ones you are looking at.

Sorry blue, didn't see your reply until just now. This is the route I want to take. I hope it works out. Living on my own in Houston would be awesome. With them...not so much.

 

[Force16X]

i've spent too much time in "bad" family situations. i avoid it like the plague if and when possible, and at this point in time its actually when, not if, since if is no longer an option. if money is an issue to where you need to do something you dont like , then i'd reconsider the situation that leads up to you having to make a decision like the one you're considering.
life isnt worth being miserable in, nor escalating a situation that's probably never going to improve. i stopped speaking to my aunt & uncle 23 years ago because i could no longer deal with them on a personal basis, (they raised me for over 6 years as a teenager). the relationship was so poisonous that i had to do something about it. so i walked from what could have been a financially beneficial situation career wise so i could enjoy my life instead. havent regretted that decison once. a new career, new surroundings, leaving something familiar,etc are hard enough emotionally to deal with let alone adding on "instant *ssholes" and top of it. so i vote, find your own abode. good luck.

 

[Angry Ram]

Good advice, thanks @Force16X

 

[Rynie]

See if you can get a job in another city. Literally any other city. Houston is a giant shithole.

Sorry, Dallas and Houston don't get along.
Haha.