The Long brothers are at it again.

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Memento

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http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on...-long-start-zombie-apocalypse-survival-school

DISCLAIMER: Credit for this article goes to Jared Dubin of CBSSports.

Chris Long, Kyle Long start zombie apocalypse survival school
By Jared Dubin | NFL Writer
April 2, 2015 8:32 pm ET

zombie-school.jpg

Who wants to take on some zombies? (Twitter)
Zombies are all the rage these days, especially on TV. The Walking Dead is the highest-rated scripted show going, after all. Well, Rams defensive end Chris Long and his brother, Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long have apparently decided to capitalize on the zombie craze by starting their own zombie apocalypse survival school. Cost for one day? $20,000.

Pretty cheap if you ask me. Look at all the great stuff you can learn.

They're teaching barrel rolls and what looks like spear throwing.

And maybe another class on overhead spear throwing. Lots of options for anyone worried about zombies taking over the Earth. Act now while you can still get this great discount!
 

jjab360

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Lol, this reminds me of that documentary Joaquin Phoenix made where he pretended to quit acting to be an awkward rapper. In other words, celebrities being as ridiculous as possible to see how much the media actually believes.
 

Athos

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I'd roll with C.Long if the crap hit the fan.

lol. Yea.

My first thought though in a zombie apocalypse though would probably be to find the reddest redneck in the states. Dude probably has zombie killing shit up to his eye balls.
 

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lol. Yea.

My first thought though in a zombie apocalypse though would probably be to find the reddest redneck in the states. Dude probably has zombie killing crap up to his eye balls.
It's good to have something to work with in troubled times. ;)
 

blue4

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I would totally kill zombies with Chris Long. But really all you need to know is 2 steps.

Load shotgun.
Fire shotgun.

That'll be $20,000.
 

junkman

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Someone should tell @Ky1eLong and @JOEL9ONE that April Fools is on the 1st.
 

Memento

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  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #11
I would totally kill zombies with Chris Long. But really all you need to know is 2 steps.

Load shotgun.
Fire shotgun.

That'll be $20,000.

What happens when you run out of slugs and need space to reload? What happens if the zombies can hear your shots and a horde of them show up? What happens when things just get way too close to comfort? Those spears and the barrel roll may just come in handy. :p
 

fearsomefour

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Lol, this reminds me of that documentary Joaquin Phoenix made where he pretended to quit acting to be an awkward rapper. In other words, celebrities being as ridiculous as possible to see how much the media actually believes.
Like when Mr. Greer wrote about about needlepoint for men....oh wait, that was a real thing.
 

RaminExile

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I would totally kill zombies with Chris Long. But really all you need to know is 2 steps.

Load shotgun.
Fire shotgun.

That'll be $20,000.

Yeah but there's a whole lot more to survival than just slaying zeds! Man I wouldn't want to team up with you when the Zombie apocalypse strikes! You need to know AT LEAST 4 types of kung-fu, have proficiency in several "silent" weapons such as knives, throwing stars, baseball bats etc and you need to have stores/supplies, gas, ammo and a place to run to that is basically impenetrable. I bet you haven't even got a map and a compass stored away in the trunk of your armoured personnel carrier with chainsaws attached and a combine harvester grill on the bumper....

Now where'd I put that blue font marker??!;)
 

-X-

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I would totally kill zombies with Chris Long. But really all you need to know is 2 steps.

Load shotgun.
Fire shotgun.

That'll be $20,000.
You forgot the double-tap.
 

Angry Ram

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It's disturbing to think they are acting like children when they should be training for the 2015 season. It would be wise for their respective teams to trade them immediately. It's obvious they don't have priorities.

%sarcasm
 

RamFan503

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I'd be good with having them around but my wife has been planning for the zombie apocalypse for years. I'd help Chris and Kyle out and enjoy having them for their brute strength but I'm pretty well set on being able to survive and make sport of slaying the walking dead.
 

Pancake

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I would totally kill zombies with Chris Long. But really all you need to know is 2 steps.

Load shotgun.
Fire shotgun.

That'll be $20,000.

I think shotgun is a bad idea because of the zombie juices possibly getting on you and then you'd be infected. But then again that's old school zombies I'm thinking of. They were tougher back in the day. Took a clean shot to the brain to drop one. And they could bite right through your skull to get to your brain. They didn't even mess with your arms and legs and shit like that back then. They went straight for the brains every time. Now days you can take them down with just regular garden tools and get soaked in the guts with no infections.
 

OnceARam

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Lol, this reminds me of that documentary Joaquin Phoenix made where he pretended to quit acting to be an awkward rapper. In other words, celebrities being as ridiculous as possible to see how much the media actually believes.

I think he actually thought he was a Rapper. He lost touch with reality at some point.
 

brokeu91

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I think he actually thought he was a Rapper. He lost touch with reality at some point.
I think it was an act. It was the first time I ever respected him as an actor. I thought he pulled it off great.