Schottenheimer - through the screen darkly.

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RaminExile

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I'm not trolling - but after listening to that Russ Lande thing I followed a few links and found this;

http://miketanier.sportsonearthblog.com/schottenheimer-through-the-screen-darkly/

Welcome to my first gallery exhibit!
Some artists work in oils or acrylics. I work in Brian Schottenheimer play diagrams. Just as Andy Warhol made art from soup cans and Roy Lichtenstein made art from pulp comics, I take ridiculous Rams play concepts and turn them into museum-worthy showpieces.
Schottenheimer became my muse during this week’s Mandatory Monday, which forced me to watch seven consecutive games of Rams offensive film. After the dismay, nausea, and revulsion came an appreciation for the rich aesthetic of the over-engineered three-yard pass. My only hope is to give others the gift of seeing these plays the way I do.
All of the works of art in Scottenheimer: Through the Screen Darkly are slight exaggerations of Schottenheimer plays, true art being about finding the truth beyond our human perceptions of three-and-outs and whatnot. Mankind can make a clock, Salvador Dali a melting clock. Similarly, mankind can make a short pass, Schottenheimer a dripping burnt panini of a short pass, and me a picture of the dripping burnt panini.

Rams-Art-Everybody-Run-a-Smash.bmp


And so it goes on....

Anyway, gave me a cheap laugh.

For the record I'm not actually a huge critic of Schottenheimer - I think he deserves another year in this system with a healthy Bradford to be fairly judged - but I do accept a lot of people feel some of his playcalling (especially with Tavon Austin) left a little to be desired last year...so I thought I'd share!
 

Alan

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RaminExile with his latest masterpiece:
After the dismay, nausea, and revulsion came an appreciation for the rich aesthetic of the over-engineered three-yard pass.
Great job Exile!

Now that you've diagrammed his his three yard pass plays, can we expect a diagram of his short passes sometime in the near future? (y)
 

RaminExile

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You mean;


My second masterpiece is titled Surprise Austin Bubble Screen. I feel the action lines create an almost sensual flow of defenders in Austin’s direction, which is juxtaposed neatly with Austin’s near-stationary teammates.
 

RaminExile

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Don't forget the piece de la resistance Alan - the Bootleg - reimagined.


Bootleg, Reimagined takes a more complex approach to one of Schottenheimer’s most complex plays. As is always the case when interpreting Schottenheimer, most of the canvas is simply chiaroscuro, an inky nothingness which no light nor eligible receiver can ever penetrate. Yet within the shallow confines of action, there is a flurry of activity: blockers pulling this way and that, Lance Kendricks (88) running a doomed flat route. Themes of hopelessness are explored as Givens tries three times to beat a jam, then runs out of bounds in futility. The only sane reaction is complete confusion and abandonment of all we have chosen to believe, which is what Brian Quick (83) does.
 

Alan

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I really like that play! We should use it more than once a game IMO. I like those red things too.
 

kurtfaulk

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.

What a great thread. It's like I'm watching weeks 3 and 4 all over again.

.
 

badnews

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This is the funniest thing I have found on a Rams forum for some time... Thanks!!
 

jrry32

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Rams-Art-Everybody-Run-a-Smash.bmp


And so it goes on....

I don't really see an issue with this play depending on the situation. If it's 3rd and 20, obviously, it's not a good idea. But on a 2nd and 5 or a 3rd and 3...nothing particularly wrong with it. Pretty easy play for Sam. Based on the defensive alignment, you progress from right to left and it's a quick, timing based play.
 

Alan

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jrry32 forgetting a crucial fact:
I don't really see an issue with this play depending on the situation. If it's 3rd and 20, obviously, it's not a good idea. But on a 2nd and 5 or a 3rd and 3...nothing particularly wrong with it. Pretty easy play for Sam. Based on the defensive alignment, you progress from right to left and it's a quick, timing based play.
Except for the fact that everyone on the other team, the fans in the stadium, the broadcasters in the booth and the audience on TV knows we're going to be running that play. Except on 3rd and 20 where we'll run the bubble screen.
 

Username

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Except for the fact that everyone on the other team, the fans in the stadium, the broadcasters in the booth and the audience on TV knows we're going to be running that play. Except on 3rd and 20 where we'll run the bubble screen.

Mmmm... No.

3rd and anything over 14 is the inevitable everyone runs a fade, with the back on a delayed circle route with a forced check down from Bradford.
 

Username

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To be fair I don't think Schottenheimer is the worst in the world. A 3rd year of understanding of what he actually has to work with and molding his playcalling/game plan around it should help.

I would really love to see that PA roll out where Quick ran 10 yards behind the LOS. That and the Rams training camp play leads me to think the author is being a bit flippant or joking with the whole thing. Who knows though, if that really happened though then that would completely end the discussion on why he hasn't seen the field that much.
 

Alan

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I'm going into the season with a positive attitude concerning him. Mostly because I have no choice. :ROFLMAO: