Name something you should never do when you're completely drunk

[Selassie I]

I think everyone might be safe from the danger I'm going to share nowadays. Mainly because I don't think I've seen one of the monsters that I tangled with in a very long time,,, I wonder if they even exist anymore.

The reason I stopped drinking bourbon is because of the following horror scene. I was completely shit faced with some buddies in downtown Orlando. This was back before cell phones. I was setting up a booty call on a payphone right outside our watering hole. Everything was perfect, had the girl on the phone giving me directions to where the party was... When the fucking payphone cut me off. I had no more change, and neither did my friends. I proceeded to commence to whip the ass of this fucking thieving payphone. I gave it my best shot, and I mean I really hit that POS with some big time blows.

Well,,, that payphone took every shot I gave it, and my efforts delivered basically zero damage. Meanwhile, I was beat to hell... at least my hands and knuckles anyway.

Luckily, vicious payphones are apparently a thing of the past... but whatever you do, don't ever think you can whip one's ass. Especially drunk.

 

[RamFan503]

I think everyone might be safe from the danger I'm going to share nowadays. Mainly because I don't think I've seen one of the monsters that I tangled with in a very long time,,, I wonder if they even exist anymore.

The reason I stopped drinking bourbon is because of the following horror scene. I was completely crap faced with some buddies in downtown Orlando. This was back before cell phones. I was setting up a booty call on a payphone right outside our watering hole. Everything was perfect, had the girl on the phone giving me directions to where the party was... When the freaking payphone cut me off. I had no more change, and neither did my friends. I proceeded to commence to whip the ass of this freaking thieving payphone. I gave it my best shot, and I mean I really hit that POS with some big time blows.

Well,,, that payphone took every shot I gave it, and my efforts delivered basically zero damage. Meanwhile, I was beat to hell... at least my hands and knuckles anyway.

Luckily, vicious payphones are apparently a thing of the past... but whatever you do, don't ever think you can whip one's ass. Especially drunk.

I saw one the other day. It was a real WTF moment. I almost pulled over to take a picture.

 

[RamFan503]

on Fridays after finishing a big siding job and getting the final payment I am...got done at noon and took myself out for lunch and a few (2) cocktails

Ah - the ole two martini lunch. Those used to be common place. Had many a boss take me to lunch and no one thought twice about having a couple cocktails along with it.

 

[Rynie]

Is that what you told your sister?


oh..why did I even go there? ...must be the vodka I just finished !!!

That's what I told your granny before I put her back in the coffin and buried her again. She didn't even put up a fight. opcorn:

 

[Memphis Ram]

What does this mean?
--------------------------------
Btw according to my buddies I went hang gliding during a blackout. Seeing as how I've always been afraid of high places, I don't see how that was possible.

Should have worded this better.

1) Don't drive of course.

2) But, as far as one's head facing inside the vehicle, I'll never have another drunk in my car who does not keep his head facing or even hanging out of the passenger door window. I never, EVER, want to experience getting puked on (especially while driving) or have anyone puke inside my auto again.

 

[Tron]

I've done way to much bad shit while drunk that I won't even go into it, also cause it could put me in jail lol.

I will say this though:
A long time ago in a six month period I was on crutches and couldn't walk at all. I got wasted and with the power of alcohol walked(this was at about the 2 month mark and only moment I could walk without the crutches) and also lost my virginity that night.

More good memories than bad while drunk(thank you baby jesus), though still many bad.

 

[LesBaker]

I've done way to much bad crap while drunk that I won't even go into it, also cause it could put me in jail lol.

I will say this though:
A long time ago in a six month period I was on crutches and couldn't walk at all. I got wasted and with the power of alcohol walked(this was at about the 2 month mark and only moment I could walk without the crutches) and also lost my virginity that night.

More good memories than bad while drunk(thank you baby jesus), though still many bad.

you lost your virginity when you were on crutches and you are withholding details what the fuck is that

sounds to me like alcohol helps you do more than walk

 

[Tron]

you lost your virginity when you were on crutches and you are withholding details what the freak is that

sounds to me like alcohol helps you do more than walk

Didn't know you had a cripple porn fetish

Alcohol has helped me more than its hurt me when it comes to sex(luckily), though it wasn't easy lol.

That was a crazy night and fun night.

 

[RocknRam29]

NSFW - Dave Chappelle - Don't Fall Asleep Next To White People

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB0MteYsQw8

 

[Mojo Ram]

Go floating down a river in an inner tube with a cast on your leg wrapped in a trash bag with 10 other drunk friends and a few hundred other drunk strangers.

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

Don't ever get drunk with your hot, always horny, cousin. That's all I am saying on that matter.

Never try to dial 411 while drunk. My brother in law did so and it ended up in a scary run in with police. Yelling at a 911 dispatcher and talking about standing outside some house with a gun is no way to make friends with authorities.

 

[brokeu91]

Don't ever get drunk with your hot, always horny, cousin. That's all I am saying on that matter.

Alright, we NEED to know the story behind this post

 

[RamFan503]

Alright, we NEED to know the story behind this post

Yeah - you can't just hang that out there without elaboration. Fuggin tease.

 

[RhodyRams]

Don't ever get drunk with your hot, always horny, cousin. That's all I am saying on that matter.

Alright, we NEED to know the story behind this post

Yeah - you can't just hang that out there without elaboration. Fuggin tease.

yup..I gotta agree with Broke and 503 here...need details @Elmgrovegnome

 

[LesBaker]

I'll bet money that happened in West Virginia

 

[Memphis Ram]

Uh... WHAT? That would have made college pretty boring.

 

[DCH]

Try to pull out in time.

 

[Faceplant]

Anal?

Lolz. U should change your screen name to Hynie, haha.

I know this sounds redundant, but do NOT do shots of Fireball when you are already on retardo street. Never ends well......

 

[Rynie]

Lolz. U should change your screen name to Hynie, haha.

I know this sounds redundant, but do NOT do shots of Fireball when you are already on retardo street. Never ends well......

True story. ..I drank 5 angry-balls (fireball & angry orchard) on my birthday 2 years ago...got into an argument with my brother...then walked 14 miles home. It took me 4 1/2 hours. By the time I got home, I was so dehydrated, I could barely walk. Good times.