My wonderful mother

[ScotsRam]

We found out today that the cancer has already spread to her lungs. We only got a confirmed liver cancer diagnosis on Monday. It started as bowel cancer and has spread rapidly. It’s now clear that Mum has been very unwell for a very long time and has gone to great lengths to hide it from us.

The days are getting easier but evening visiting hours at the hospital are still my weakness. It breaks my heart all over again every time I have to leave her to another night alone in there, although we normally wait till she is sleeping before we go.

I’m hanging in there but this is comfortably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

 

[VegasRam]

Can't say anything that hasn't been said, but I do believe sharing helps.
Try not to let her see you sad - I'm sure she knows - but it will cheer her up.

 

[Faceplant]

So very sorry brother. She sounds like an amazing and caring woman. We need more people like that on this earth, but perhaps she is needed elsewhere. I lost my mom to breast cancer 10 years ago this September. Most brutal week of my life. She told me Monday and was gone Saturday and I took care of her all days in between until I had to call in help from hospice Friday night. Spend as much time as you possibly can with her and just make sure they keep her comfortable. You are in my thoughts. Hang in there man. Fuck Cancer.

 

[Pancake]

So Sorry Friend. Been through it over the last 2 years with my wifes mom. We lost her on April 20th to Leukemia. It's a rough road ahead emotionally for you and your family. My wife and I will keep you in our prayers

 

[ScotsRam]

Mum passed away peacefully this morning. Dad was with her holding her hand. It’s only 8 days since we got a confirmed diagnosis, I can’t believe how quickly this has happened.

Don’t feel sad that you’ve lost but happy that you’ve loved. I love you Mum.

 

[HX76]

So so sorry to hear that mate. Thoughts are with you.

 

[LumberTubs]

Sad news @ScotsRam. Thinking of you and yours.

 

[FaulkSF]

I feel awful for you @ScotsRam. Keeping you, your family and friends in my thoughts.

 

[-X-]

Sorry brother.

As you said, keep that love alive and her memory vibrant.

 

[Farr Be It]

Sorry @ScotsRam

My prayers for you and your family are that the Lord comforts you and walks with you through your grief, and gives you joy as your moms legacy inspires your life.

 

[RamFan503]

Mum passed away peacefully this morning. Dad was with her holding her hand. It’s only 8 days since we got a confirmed diagnosis, I can’t believe how quickly this has happened.

Don’t feel sad that you’ve lost but happy that you’ve loved. I love you Mum.

So sorry about this man. I always keep hope alive in these cases. My wife's mom passed away last year and it still doesn't seem real. She passed after a routine knee operation. I know she knows we love her just as your mom knows. Nancy is still leaving us dimes (long story) at key times during our lives to let us know she is watching and loving what we do. Don't be surprised if your mom figures out a way to do the same. Cheers man and keep the love alive.

 

[Dodgersrf]

Truly sorry for your loss @ScotsRam
Hopefully you can find some peace, knowing your Mother is at peace.

 

[~lyser]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

[LesBaker]

Positive vibes to you @ScotsRam

Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?

 

[Memento]

I'm truly sorry for your loss, @ScotsRam . My utmost condolences go to you and your family.

 

[Faceplant]

Hang in there buddy. Cherish her memory and do your best to be there for your father and family. You all will find strength together. You are in my thoughts.

 

[ScotsRam]

So I had tickets for the rams game in London this weekend and had planned a great weekend with a few friends. All the funeral arrangements will be finalised by tomorrow and my dad and sisters are all at home at the weekend with various family members and well wishers dropping in and out.

My question to you guys - if I go on my trip, spend a weekend with my friends and get some respite from all of this, given that the arrangements will be made and I’ll be back three days before the funeral - does it make me a bad person if I still go?

What would you all do?

Dad has told me to go for what it’s worth. I didn’t ask him, he just said ‘I hope you’re still planning to go’. I would feel guilty about leaving them at this time though.

 

[HX76]

Firstly your Dad sounds like a top man telling you to still go, but maybe for your peace of mind you should sit down with him again, and your sisters, just to clarify that they are happy for you to go (which I'm sure they are).

Personally I think it would do you the world of good to getaway for a couple of days and that certainly doesn't make you a bad person. The mere fact you're asking us here what you should do proves that.

Finally, I'm sure your mum would want you to go and enjoy yourself as much as you can in what must be a really hard time for you.

 

[RamFan503]

So I had tickets for the rams game in London this weekend and had planned a great weekend with a few friends. All the funeral arrangements will be finalised by tomorrow and my dad and sisters are all at home at the weekend with various family members and well wishers dropping in and out.

My question to you guys - if I go on my trip, spend a weekend with my friends and get some respite from all of this, given that the arrangements will be made and I’ll be back three days before the funeral - does it make me a bad person if I still go?

What would you all do?

Dad has told me to go for what it’s worth. I didn’t ask him, he just said ‘I hope you’re still planning to go’. I would feel guilty about leaving them at this time though.

I don't think anyone can put on your shoes right now but my thought is that your mom wants the best for you. I can't imagine that either decision would be easy. I think though that if you were to look at it from the view point of someone who really loves you, they'd want you to go. It's going to be tough for a long time - maybe forever. Even though my wife's mom wasn't mine by blood, I still weep from time to time. Most of the time it is thinking of her smiling back though and that helps me get through it. My wife will never get over it I know. But that's ok. You live and you feel.

 

[ScotsRam]

I don't think anyone can put on your shoes right now but my thought is that your mom wants the best for you. I can't imagine that either decision would be easy. I think though that if you were to look at it from the view point of someone who really loves you, they'd want you to go. It's going to be tough for a long time - maybe forever. Even though my wife's mom wasn't mine by blood, I still weep from time to time. Most of the time it is thinking of her smiling back though and that helps me get through it. My wife will never get over it I know. But that's ok. You live and you feel.

That’s what we keep saying to each other - this pain is the price of love. It’s worth it.