- Joined
- Jul 10, 2010
- Messages
- 2,923
- Name
- Tim
It began with my wife calling me because she forgot something (she leaves for work before me) and she needed me to bring it to her at work. There goes my routine.
So I bring her the item, and now I'm going to be late for work. So I jump back in my car and hurry to the nearest freeway onramp. I'm just about to merge with rush hour traffic when I look to my left. INSIDE the front driver's side window less than a foot from my face is a complete web with a spider that I swear is bigger than a half-dollar.
Now I'm freaking, 'cause I'm a bit of an arachnophobe. With one eye I'm keeping track of traffic while the other is looking to the side of the road to see if I can pull over. Meanwhile my right hand is reaching for something to squish the fucker. It finds a paper towel. Now my focus turns to the spider as my right hand reaches across to the window and I press the towel against the glass. The spider slips around the side and I drop the towel on the floor and begin stomping with my left foot.
At this point I realize I'm holding up traffic and race forward to merge into traffic, all the while stomping with my left foot. Now I'm in rush hour traffic, adrenaline pumping because I can't tell if I killed it or not, and trying not to kill myself.
I stomp the paper towel some more, because that's the only target I can see. Finally, I reach down and pick up the towel and see that I won. But it's not over. I'm still trying to calm down.
I make it to work without a scratch on the car, then wipe down the window. My hand is just slightly shaking. That's about the time that a seagull poops on the hood of my car.
So I bring her the item, and now I'm going to be late for work. So I jump back in my car and hurry to the nearest freeway onramp. I'm just about to merge with rush hour traffic when I look to my left. INSIDE the front driver's side window less than a foot from my face is a complete web with a spider that I swear is bigger than a half-dollar.
Now I'm freaking, 'cause I'm a bit of an arachnophobe. With one eye I'm keeping track of traffic while the other is looking to the side of the road to see if I can pull over. Meanwhile my right hand is reaching for something to squish the fucker. It finds a paper towel. Now my focus turns to the spider as my right hand reaches across to the window and I press the towel against the glass. The spider slips around the side and I drop the towel on the floor and begin stomping with my left foot.
At this point I realize I'm holding up traffic and race forward to merge into traffic, all the while stomping with my left foot. Now I'm in rush hour traffic, adrenaline pumping because I can't tell if I killed it or not, and trying not to kill myself.
I stomp the paper towel some more, because that's the only target I can see. Finally, I reach down and pick up the towel and see that I won. But it's not over. I'm still trying to calm down.
I make it to work without a scratch on the car, then wipe down the window. My hand is just slightly shaking. That's about the time that a seagull poops on the hood of my car.
