- Joined
- Jan 14, 2013
- Messages
- 5,327
- Name
- Dave
Win, lose or draw, the RAMS will be the most badass team in the league in 2016.
I know what you are thinking. "The RAMS are ALWAYS the most badass!" And you are correct. This years team however is burning high-octane awesome sauce and cranking their badassery up to E-LEV-N.
Here are 16 reasons why every other team in the NFL just kinda sucks compared to the 2016 Los Angeles RAMS.
16 - Johnny Fucking Hekker.
15 - Best looking GM/QB duo in the league. No other team packs a 1-2 punch of stonecold ladykillers like Les "McConaughey" Snead and Jared "Gosling" Goff. And as far as HCs go, I can almost smell Jeff "Ron Swanson" Fishers raw testosterone-pipe tobacco-grizzly musk all the way back here in Missouri.
14 - They are young, hungry and mean.
Under Fisher, the Rams make two things: mistakes and Seahawks fans cry like the little whining pansies they are. I expect fewer mistakes and more tears this year.
13 - Seriously, those frappuccino sippin' hipsters in the Pacific Northwest are the whiniest, most obnoxious fans ever. I sustain myself on the joy gained from their defeats. Oh, yeah 13... umm.. Kurt Warner was a RAM.
12 - Speaking of Arizona QBs, we will continue our feasts of Redbird Tossers this year and that's always finger licking good.
11 - Tavon Austin. We have one. Nobody else does.
10 - William Hayes doesn't believe in dinosaurs, does believe in mermaids, goes homeless in St Louis just for kicks. He is overlooked, underrated, outlandish and intense. You gotta love him.
9 - The Golden Child. The California Kid. The RAMS went to Jared. He is like a blonde haired Sam Bradford if Sam Bradford was better.
8 - Our young, gigantic and athletic O-line has just enough experience to beat other teams and not know how they did it. Seriously though, this should be the best line we've had in years.
7 - Have I mentioned Johnny Hekker?
Yes, I have. And I'm mentioning him again. He's that awesome.
6 - Nick Foles might throw passes and Jared Cook might drop them, but it won't happen in a RAMS jersey.
5 - A new offense that is almost guaranteed to be as good or better than the last one.
4 - Deacon Jones, Jack Youngblood and Isaac Bruce were all RAMS. With that point alone, this team is officially more badass than any other.
3 - The Mighty Quinn Returns. He doesn't have to be at 100% right away. With less attention from opposing O-lines, Quinn at 75% of his former glory will be enough to squish Quarterbacks.
2 - Todd Gurley is for really real. He is healthier, faster and more prepared than last year when he announced his presence to the league. For an encore, he is looking to add some Faulk-esque receiving numbers to his Dickerson-like running abilities.
1 - AARON DONALD.
I know what you are thinking. "The RAMS are ALWAYS the most badass!" And you are correct. This years team however is burning high-octane awesome sauce and cranking their badassery up to E-LEV-N.
Here are 16 reasons why every other team in the NFL just kinda sucks compared to the 2016 Los Angeles RAMS.
16 - Johnny Fucking Hekker.
15 - Best looking GM/QB duo in the league. No other team packs a 1-2 punch of stonecold ladykillers like Les "McConaughey" Snead and Jared "Gosling" Goff. And as far as HCs go, I can almost smell Jeff "Ron Swanson" Fishers raw testosterone-pipe tobacco-grizzly musk all the way back here in Missouri.
14 - They are young, hungry and mean.
Under Fisher, the Rams make two things: mistakes and Seahawks fans cry like the little whining pansies they are. I expect fewer mistakes and more tears this year.
13 - Seriously, those frappuccino sippin' hipsters in the Pacific Northwest are the whiniest, most obnoxious fans ever. I sustain myself on the joy gained from their defeats. Oh, yeah 13... umm.. Kurt Warner was a RAM.
12 - Speaking of Arizona QBs, we will continue our feasts of Redbird Tossers this year and that's always finger licking good.
11 - Tavon Austin. We have one. Nobody else does.
10 - William Hayes doesn't believe in dinosaurs, does believe in mermaids, goes homeless in St Louis just for kicks. He is overlooked, underrated, outlandish and intense. You gotta love him.
9 - The Golden Child. The California Kid. The RAMS went to Jared. He is like a blonde haired Sam Bradford if Sam Bradford was better.
8 - Our young, gigantic and athletic O-line has just enough experience to beat other teams and not know how they did it. Seriously though, this should be the best line we've had in years.
7 - Have I mentioned Johnny Hekker?
Yes, I have. And I'm mentioning him again. He's that awesome.
6 - Nick Foles might throw passes and Jared Cook might drop them, but it won't happen in a RAMS jersey.
5 - A new offense that is almost guaranteed to be as good or better than the last one.
4 - Deacon Jones, Jack Youngblood and Isaac Bruce were all RAMS. With that point alone, this team is officially more badass than any other.
3 - The Mighty Quinn Returns. He doesn't have to be at 100% right away. With less attention from opposing O-lines, Quinn at 75% of his former glory will be enough to squish Quarterbacks.
2 - Todd Gurley is for really real. He is healthier, faster and more prepared than last year when he announced his presence to the league. For an encore, he is looking to add some Faulk-esque receiving numbers to his Dickerson-like running abilities.
1 - AARON DONALD.
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