Anyone else?

[Tron]

Now before I truly begin, let me just say that this does have to do with drinking. And this doesn't count out ex-alcoholics like prime time and others. This is a serious honest post, posted at a time of inebriation(ofc).

I do not consider myself an alcoholic, but I do indulge. I drink on weekends to excess, and if not for my wife I would drink a lot more.

Now I dont bring all this up to discuss alcoholism or anything like that. My quest in this post is much simpler(maybe).

How honest are you when you are drunk? Is the person you are when drunk the person who hides within you? The real person you hide? The true inner you....

Now I ask this because it is a serious issue with me. The same thoughts and issues fill my head when I drink, and basically have for many years more or less.

I dont become violent, dont sleep around, never have gotten arrested(except for a time in germany which was a day late and cause my friend was being a huge asshole). There have been some self inflicted wounds but besides that the worst I have done is being completely and utterly honest to the max degree.

Many times when I wake up the next day I regret what I said the night before, whether it be to one person in particular or to multiple people. But most of the time it isnt what I said that I regret, but that I admitted it which I dont like. mostly because I dont feel people feel the same or cant handle it and will effect my relationship with them.

So basically what I am asking is, is the drunk you, the real you? Or something more or less like that.

Its just the feelings that I get, deep inside, are pretty chaotic, but filling, whether good or bad.

Its hard to explain. I have dealt with many issues in my life, including depression and suppression and self infliction and holding things in till exploding, and especially not being able to handle with letting out my true emotions to the ones closest to me in a positive way.

So anyways, I have gone on long enough with this, just curious how it is with others I guess, and if this is how it is/was with you.

Thank you for your time and comments.

 

[fearsomefour]

I try to be honest all the time.
There is a difference between being honest and being a dick. It took me some time to realize this. Having kids cured me of this. It depends what you mean by being honest. Are the things you say about things that really matter? Or is it just drunk conversation that you go off on?
I hate to tell you this, but, if you drink and wake up having a bunch of regrets about hurting people with things you've said, you may not get violent, but, you're a dick when you drink.
Its like when I coach kids. If there is a kid that does not have much natural talent and is really struggling I may say, "Ok, we've got some ground to cover. But, we will work on fundamental stuff first, make sure your arm stays healthy and feels good. It will not be easy for you, but, eventually if you work hard I am sure we can get you to the point you are pitching much better." I could say, "Look kid, you are out of shape, short, your arm is tight and frankly you are wasting my Fing time if you think you are even going to play in high school. You suck." Both are honest. One is cruel.
If you are cruel in your honesty with people when drinking then all that inner turmoil is coming out toward other people.
Here is one thing to consider with males....this is just based on my experience with myself, friends and working with kids/teenagers. Males tend to lash out if they are depressed. Anger is a masking agent of depression. You may consider it being honest. Ask yourself, are you attacking people? Are you lashing out?
There are times people are way too sensitive or defensive or have their own issues. Sometimes a person can say something honest and the person hearing way over reacts. This could be part of it too. Bottom line, I get the thing with the ultra honesty. But, the people close to you need to matter more than the feeling (powerful, right, superior) you get my being coldly honest all the time.
Also, how much of the drinking is self medication?

 

[Mister Sin]

I quit drinking for the most part 7 years ago when I became sober from other vices, but I do still occasionally drink. Not to a drunkard state, but light buzz. I would say that the Drunk version of myself is one of which has ZERO fucks to give about anything. I'm all about fun and say and so what I please. I had however found that as I was drinking harder and harder that I would become increasingly violent. I don't believe that is the real me at all. I am naturally aggressive, but I would never say I was violent. I don't believe that we are our true selves while drunk. I believe that our true selves are in fact those that are kind enough to use filters and caring enough to not fight uselessly. I would in fact say that drunk people are the worse of ourselves because we take down what makes us....us.

 

[Prime Time]

Some say that alcohol is a truth serum. This might explain why some people get fired after an office party. They go up to the boss and tell them how they really feel.

My father was a kind, gentle man when he was sober but when he drank he became mean and violent. I was the same way when I drank. The alcohol revealed the hidden anger, rage, and frustration.

I met a young man in AA who was a terrific drummer. He wanted to play for the Ramones and could have easily fit in. He lived outside my house for a year in his van. His life was spiraling out of control so he decided to quit drinking. The problem was that when he was sober he became so introverted that he was unable to perform in bed with women. Alcohol brought out a side of him that was confident. He finally chose women over sobriety and I never heard from him again.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3zkkLckeyM&spfreload=10


I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

 

[RamBall]

Alcohol has different effects on different people, I've known people that become very social and the life of the party, and others that become instant asshole just add liqour, and others that isolate themselves and try to cover up their drinking. It wasnt so much the things I said or did that lead to me get sober, it was more the feelings and emotional pain that came with knowing I was not being the parent/husband/son/person that I should have been.

When I drank I was a different person than I am today, I still have the same personal flaws, but drinking multiplied them. Today I may think it, but not say it, when drunk I had no filter and didnt give a rats ass what people thought. I still at times say things I regret, but not very often and today I can admit when I am wrong and apologize and mean it.

IMO there is no true answer to your question as different people have different reactions to alcohol.

But if alcohol causes problems in your life, you may want to remove alcohol for a period to see if the problems/thoughts go away. It is hard for me to talk about alcohol without atleast bringing up alcoholism, mainly due to my own experiences. I am not trying to say you may be alcoholic as only you can make that diagnosis.

 

[RAGRam]

I'm lucky, I get really badly hungover on relatively little alcohol, the knowledge that you're going to be projectile vomiting the entire next day if you have one more drink is a great deterrent to not overdoing it.

 

[LesBaker]

I try to be honest all the time.
There is a difference between being honest and being a dick. It took me some time to realize this. Having kids cured me of this. It depends what you mean by being honest. Are the things you say about things that really matter? Or is it just drunk conversation that you go off on?
I hate to tell you this, but, if you drink and wake up having a bunch of regrets about hurting people with things you've said, you may not get violent, but, you're a dick when you drink.
Its like when I coach kids. If there is a kid that does not have much natural talent and is really struggling I may say, "Ok, we've got some ground to cover. But, we will work on fundamental stuff first, make sure your arm stays healthy and feels good. It will not be easy for you, but, eventually if you work hard I am sure we can get you to the point you are pitching much better." I could say, "Look kid, you are out of shape, short, your arm is tight and frankly you are wasting my Fing time if you think you are even going to play in high school. You suck." Both are honest. One is cruel.
If you are cruel in your honesty with people when drinking then all that inner turmoil is coming out toward other people.
Here is one thing to consider with males....this is just based on my experience with myself, friends and working with kids/teenagers. Males tend to lash out if they are depressed. Anger is a masking agent of depression. You may consider it being honest. Ask yourself, are you attacking people? Are you lashing out?
There are times people are way too sensitive or defensive or have their own issues. Sometimes a person can say something honest and the person hearing way over reacts. This could be part of it too. Bottom line, I get the thing with the ultra honesty. But, the people close to you need to matter more than the feeling (powerful, right, superior) you get my being coldly honest all the time.
Also, how much of the drinking is self medication?

Pretty much summed up what I was thinking.

@iced you regret saying things, that means you are a little over the top drunk. Water down the booze maybe? I've done that on a night where I was drinking a lot. I've told bartenders to use a half a shot.

 

[iced]

@iced you regret saying things, that means you are a little over the top drunk. Water down the booze maybe? I've done that on a night where I was drinking a lot. I've told bartenders to use a half a shot.

Not necessarily that I regret saying it, more of the delivery. Not gonna lie I have indulged in drinking more this year since my best friend was killed - but I also have other things that don't help either (Side effects of Mefloquine, past concussions, etc. Past few months I've been a lab rat for the VA with the different medicines they have me on).

But I also don't sugar coat things and tend to call it like I see it - so I'm sure alcohol only helps remove what little filter I may have lol

 

[snackdaddy]

I used to drink a lot back in the day. At one point I would estimate that I didn't miss a day of drinking for two straight years. I averaged a 12 pack a night during weekdays and more during weekends. Why I never got a DUI is beyond me. Its been 20 years since I drank like that. Now, I have maybe a beer or two every other month on average. And close to bedtime. Just makes me sleepy when I stop drinking them.

I would liken my drunken state to be like that 6 month old lab you take to the park and unhook his leash. He's so friendly he's gotta make friends with everyone. For the most part, that was me at parties. And even today when I relay that scenario with friends they tell me I'm still like that.

But there was also another side. I was usually a happy go lucky drunk, but when someone does something personally directed to me, I changed. Especially when its something challenging my manhood. Someone tells me they could kick my ass and I don't think they're kidding, the hair on the back of my neck stands up and the adrenaline kicks into high gear. Once in my early 20's I became a raving maniac wanting to tear the head off the guy who antagonized me. I had to be restrained by 3 friends and they had a hard time. They told the guy to get the hell out cuz they didn't think they could hold me and he did. After that, I was my usual happy go lucky self. Alcohol can do crazy things.

 

[-X-]

So basically what I am asking is, is the drunk you, the real you? Or something more or less like that.

Absolutely not. I have a lot more patience and tolerance when I'm not drunk. 99% of the fights I've gotten into in my life have been the result of being drunk. I think I've only been in two fights where drinking wasn't a part of the equation, but I won't rule out being hungover at the time. I also get quieter the more I drink - which is kind of the opposite of most people. I don't know if I'm coiling up on the inside waiting for a reason to unload, or what it is. But I just tend to lock it down, and then I get annoyed by loud people. Which is probably why I've had so many fights. lol.

Glad I don't drink as much anymore. Too much drama, and I'm getting too old to swing on people.

 

[Ramhusker]

I think alcohol just puts you under the microscope, magnifying everything about you . If you are angry about something, happy about something, worried about something, that something will come to the surface. It can be good therapy to tie one on but it could make you not like what you see. Dangerous therapy but it doesn't lie.

 

[snackdaddy]

I remember a few years after I quit drinking I told my wife I thought I was a very manageable drunk. People probably didn't even know when I was drunk. She told me "Who you think you're kidding? It was obvious. Your nose would get beet red and your eyes were so glossy. You were the only one who thought it wasn't noticeable". alm:

 

[Tron]

Man, you guys have had some bad times it seems. Im hardly ever a dick when im drunk. Every once in a while I will be but usually only happens after someone else who is drunk is being an asshole. As per the honesty part, I think i just take the locks down on my secrets and blabber on and on like an idiot. Never have gotten into a fight while drunk either, usually calmed people down so that they wouldnt fight. My brother on the other hand is a combination of a lot of you. He has been any many fights, been arrested many times, dui's, domestic violence and more, but he doesnt drink much if ever anymore which is good.

A lot of good posts in here though I must say.

 

[RamzFanz]

I'm a "stages" drunk.

Stage 1 - I get pretty funny for a while if I'm in a good mood. People who know me like to feed me booze. If I know I'm with friends and I can say anything, I can make people laugh uncontrollably.

Stage 2 - Not as funny as I was. A little quieter. People watching.

Stage 3 - The best stage for burying the bone, watching stars, discussing deep thoughts.

Stage 4 - No chance of burying the bone. Would rather be alone. Go on line and troll (not ROD anymore!)

Stage 5 - I don't go to stage 5. It involves passing out where I sit.

I never get sick, I don't mind hangovers much, but I do have blackouts where I have no idea what I did and have to launch an investigation. Fortunately, I'm not violent in the slightest and I tend not to make really bad decisions. I would drive before I woke up one morning and remembered driving with solid double vision and having to point the car between the two roads.

There are certain people I will never drink with. The instant floozy, the glazed eyes "he's not there anymore" after 2 beers guy, the shit stirrer, the drama queen, or the puker.

 

[Rynie]

I quit smoking weed a year ago. I started drinking more at first, but now I drink once or twice a week (on the weekend). For the most part, I'm a fun drunk, and easy going. I've had some dumb, drunk moments. Once I walked home 14.2 miles after drinking 5 angry balls (angry orchard and fireball). It took me 4 hours, and I got hit by a car (barely). And that was how I spent that birthday.

*edit. I'm drinking right now.

 

[Force16X]

20 years ago i would split a case with my best friend/co worker every night after work. this year, i had my first beer this year at a restaurant during dinner in May. there's much better ways to live than story #1. as for behavior, depended on the day and present company. (that goes for when i'm sober as well).
the only thing i cant drink is whiskey because it makes me very mean. nowadays with my diabetes and the thought of nasty headaches i leave it alone. i dont miss any of it, except for the bantering with friends and pool shooting.

 

[ozarkram]

I am one of the lucky ones. (I guess) Come from a long line of drinkers. Hollow leg, drink you under the table types. I could drink as much as I wanted an for the most part you would never no. Never any hangovers unless I mixed. As long as I stuck with what I started with I was good to go. I do know drinking changes some people completely. One lady I knew couldn't drink. After a couple she would end up in the ER her body just wouldn't tolerate it. A guy I knew happy-go lucky sober became a demon drunk wanted to fight everybody including his friends. We as his friends always tried to protect him cuz he couldn't fight worth a dam. One night he went into a very nasty little bar and was almost beaten to death we weren't there to help him. He was never the same. Brain damage. You see beer bottles don't break on your head like in the movies. Your head breaks. And then there was the lady I dated for several years. Three drinks and she was taking off her clothes and wanting to screw everyone in the room. Normally she was very prim and proper. But if we went somewhere and they were serving drinks I had to be right by her side or all hell broke loose. I finally solved the problem by keeping her home and keeping her drunk.

 

[dieterbrock]

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

[Debacled]

Alcohol does make people "honest" in a way I guess. If we all walked around without a well adjusted normalized filter, we would all be "honest". You will say stuff and do things that you know better of when drunk as opposed to sober. Rationally, we think of the consequences and the bigger picture when sober. Fearsomefour hit it on the nail head, we are much less eloquent about how we phrase what we think/feel and are much more willing to toss our opinions out in the open when drunk.

You are pretty much always you, its the "rules of social interaction" or human decency or whatever else you want to call it that most people, myself included, lose sight of when drinking. As I mentioned, the impact of repercussions of said actions is lost when alcohol is involved. Then again we all know there are different levels of drinking. A good buzz is usually pretty harmless. The more consumed the bigger the oopsies seem to be made. To rhetorically answer your question, is the true inner you the buzzed you or the so stinkin drunk its hard to form a coherent sentence/thought the "true" you?

I tend to believe as alcohol is a depressant it tends to take away from a person. If you take a part of them away, that really isn't them. Still doesn't mean its a free pass or that I think alcohol is the devil, I just don't think when someone is on something (alcohol or otherwise) that it should be a complete representation of that person

 

[Rmfnlt]

I become a super hero!