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NFL Power Rankings, Week 3: Tron's Power Rankings

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Sorry for being late with this, was a busy week. I will get the next one in on time!!! I swear it!!! Ehhh who am I kidding, I'll post it late or not at all and you'll take it like the good whore you are!!!! ANYWAY...

Another week of football down. You know the hardest part in doing the rankings? Ranking the crappy teams. The back half of the rankings are a crap show and I changed them over and over again. Will want to change them again after posted but freak it. Here you go ladies and germs, your weekly dose of awesomeness!!!

*side note: I had the first half done before Thursday nights game and the rankings are a reflection of prior to the game.
Have I ever told you that I hate this team? If I haven't, well guess what, I freaking hate this Bukake fest of douchenozzles! No 1st string QB? No problem. 2nd string QB gets injured in first half? No problem....3rd string is a 3rd round rookie? Hey no problem, he'll just drive down the field for a td. Until this team actually loses or has way to many close calls I cant drop this team from the #1 rank. Sigh I hate these fucks.
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Big Mover: Gain of 1 spots
The Broncos show off their elite level defense that helped them win the SB, This time the victim was Luck and his merry band of scallywag pirate scum. Siemian is playing good game management football, and with that defense, thats all he needs to do.
Big Mover: Gain of 1 spots
Zona came back from last weeks loss in a big way. Costly mistakes from the Bucs kept this from being anything near a close game. Mr. Asshat worked his magic and the Cards kicked the Bucs asses.
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Big Mover: Gain of 3 spots
The Panthers showed up to their stadium but forgot to bring their bubblegum...that was bad news for Chip and the gang and the Panthers had another focus...
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Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
Looks like the Steelers could actually be for real like many pundits thought they would be. And they don't even have Bell back yet, not that it matters since the eternal DeAngelo Williams is still able to be a stud at 33.. They are tied with the Ravens at 2-0 in the division, and although their defenses are good and about the same, the Steelers offense is far superior.
Big Mover: Gain of 5 spots
Well I did not see that coming. Bradford played the best game in his career after hardly anytime with the Vikes. Turner and Bradford will make good music together. The only bad thing is that the Vikes will ride or die depending on Bradfords health. Hoping for he best for the guy. 2-0 and atop the division is a good start.
Big Mover: Loss of 5 spots
Down goes Frazier!! Down goes Frazier!!!!! The Pack looked lost Sunday against a surprisingly good(and APless) Viqueens squad. It all starts up front, as the O-line is letting everyone down besides the opposing teams defense. They need to get their crap together before the season takes a bad turn.
Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA freak you seabitches!!!!! right in your stupid cunty gaping asses!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Your team has looked like crap for two weeks now, hopefully 14 more are to come!!
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Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
Their offense needs to do better but they have been solid. The defense has been good and keeping Brees and Co. to 13 points is a big win. In the crappy NFC East, anyone can win it(except for the skins), so the playoffs could happen if their offense can do better.
Big Mover: Gain of 7 spots
Ravens get a big move up, half because they are one of eight undefeated teams, and the half being that a lot of teams above them sucked pure rectum this week.
Yet another team that will ride their defense but could go far if the offense shows up.
Big Mover: Gain of 1 spots
Texans look to finally have a QB and a good amount of weapons for once. The defense wont be elite, but will be good enough, mainly because of Watt. This could be good enough a combo to win the division again.
Big Mover: Gain of 3 spots
Jets had a nice week offensively against the crappy Bills. Defense needs to tighten up a bit but I think it will as the year goes on under Bowles.
Big Mover: Loss of 7 spots
Team red rocket misfired and they got stomped in the nuts then kicked in the face by the Steelers.

Here is a condensed version of the game...
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Big Mover: Loss of 6 spots
The Chiefs just couldnt do anything good on Sunday. They will bounce back. Thats all your getting on them. NO REFUNDS!!! Since thats all I got on this heres a double dose of big jiggly ass.

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Big Mover: Gain of 8 spots
Wentz and the Iggles have played some solid football. Wentz was great in week one, and more than decent in week 2. It is still early and we wont see how good he really is till he doesnt play a bottom 5 team, but regardless, he has played good for only playing half a preseason game. I dont see them winning with ease, and see many losses this season in the second half, but for now they are 2-0 and should probably rate them higher. Beating up on crap doesnt mean much though. Except for it coming from a rookie QB.
Big Mover: Loss of 6 spots
Beat an NFC South team in a close high scoring game in week one. Lose to NFC South team in a close high scoring game in week two. The defense needs to step up its game, If it can, they will do good things. Like I said in my initial power rankings, they are a couple years off. Once this defense gets going though as a whole, they will challenge for the division.
Big Mover: Gain of 5 spots
They beat the Skins....good for them. They dont look like anything special and dont see them going far.
Big Mover: Gain of 9 spots
The Chargers kicked the snot out of the Jags and had a great overall game. They have no chance of winning the division or even a wild card spot IMO but for now they are scoring points so gratz to them.
Big Mover: Loss of 5 spots
The Jags went full Jags this game and got dominated by the Chargers. You're 0-2 but somehow not even the worst team in your bad division.What??? Whos worse than the Jags in that division? Well let me tell you!!!
Big Mover: Loss of 4 spots
Cousins is still playing for that big contract, let's take a peak and see how thats going....
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Big Mover: Loss of 2 spots
You lost to a bad Titans team!!! Proud of yourselves?
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Same ol' Lions...
Big Mover: Loss of 4 spots
Yup, thats right!! The Colts are absolute hot garbage with a side of crap stained briefs!! They were actually only down by 6 with a couple minutes to go in the game till Von Miller strip sacked Luck and it was returned for a TD. Captain neckbeard started the game off by going 5-18.......Good "Luck" this year Colts!! Get it!!!! It was a pun!!!!! Yea freak you to!!!
Big Mover: Loss of 2 spots
The Saints lost yet another close game. It feels like they are close to getting over the hump, but until they do they will continue to slide.
Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
Titans beat a good team....hmm ok maybe not good but decent? Yea lets go with that one. It was a close game in which the Titans came from behind in the 4th quarter which is a nice thing for a young team to do.
Big Mover: Loss of spots
A team that shutout the Rams let the Panthers hang 46 on them a week later. They might be looking for a bounceback win but it will be a tough match going against that Hawks who are looking for their own bounceback win. I hope they both lose. Yes, somehow, someway. freak them both.
Big Mover: Gain of 5 spots
Good job by the Rams to score some points this week and win their super bowl!!! Those field goals were enough to not screw over the defense. Now they need to work on getting a TD..yea, that sound like a solid idea to me.
Big Mover: Gain of 2 spots
Hotlanta won in a shootout over the Raiders. Nice win for them. Lets see if they can keep it up, I have my doubts.
Big Mover: Loss of 8 spots
Winston forgot his crab legs in Tampa but left his manhood in AZ after that torture session.
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What a massive beatdown they took. Maybe they will have better luck Sunday against the Rams.......
Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
Miami lost to the cheatriots. Yea thats all I got. The dolphins freaking blow.....or do they just lick....
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Big Mover: Loss of 6 spots
Bills lose again. Sexy Rexy aint so hot anymore. Not that he really ever was. Their defense sucks ass so they do the natural thing and fire the OC......wait...what???? What a bunch of fucktards.
Big Mover: Loss of 1 spots
Hey, guess who sucks!! Da Bears!!!!
They are starting their 5th QB in 5 games. Now if they were the Patsies that wouldnt matter, they'd still win. But since it's the Browns, it doesnt matter either, since they will lose no matter what. The Browns are the Debbie Downers of the NFL..
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Comments

  1. Roman Snow
    :burp: I don't even watch the games anymore. I just read @Tron 's Power Rankings....oh yeah, and eat a whole bunch of pork rinds.
      Tron likes this.
  2. Corbin
    LMAO love the Game of Thrones references! Good Job Tronner!
  3. FaulkSF
    And the Rams are all out of bubblegum...
  4. LoyalRam
    "Ranking the crappy teams. The back half of the rankings are a crap show and I changed them over and over again."
    "Rams at #26"

    Hey Tron, you dirty rat bastid, you trying to tell us something?
    :poop:
      Tron likes this.
    1. Tron
      I plead the fifth!!
      Tron, Sep 25, 2016
  5. dolphinlover123
    I think I'd probably swap the Cardinals and the Steelers. But can't argue much with others (y)(y)(y)
  6. DaveFan'51
    Thanks for finally coming up with your report!!
    Now I can make my weekly picks having been Fully informed by our resident Football Guru!!(y);):D Nice Job Tron!!
      Tron likes this.