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NFL Power Rankings, Week 2: Tron's Power Rankings

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Guess whos back!!! You're favorite RoDer? hmm not quite right. lover of RoD? err thats worse.....RoD fiend? cough cough... umm well crap. Just call me you're favorite member of the best Rams forum. Yea...not flashy, but it works.

Week one has come and gone and boy was it a doozie!! A lot of close games that were very exciting. And some not so great games....cough cough....

Anyways I won't bore you any further, here you go!!!
Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
Sigh. I really freaking hate this team. No Gronk, no problem. No Brady, no problem. Starting tackles out, NO freaking PROBLEM!!! freaking piece of crap cheatriots!!!

Oh look at me!!!! Im Bill Bellidick!!!
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Im soooooooo coooooool!!!!!! I dont need my best players and starters to win!!! You wish you were this sexy!!!!

freak YOU YOU BALL GUZZLING DOUCHE TURD freak BOY!!!!! AND freak THE REST OF THE CHEATRIOT ORGANIZATION!!! freak YOU!!!!
It was a lot closer than I though it'd be but the Packers pulled out the win behind a solid (but not great) performance from the team as a whole. No one had a spectacular day but still won convincingly enough. I think this week vs. the Vikings will be a tougher test for them.
Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
2015 7th round pick Trevor Siemian wasn't stellar, but did well enough to not screw over the Broncos stellar defense to pull out a win in the SB rematch. I don't think he will be a stud, but he will do well enough to be better than Manning was last year. Cause Manning really sucked last year. Hopefully we dont see as many cheap head shots next week from the defense or suspensions might start occurring.
Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
They lost to a very good (pukes in mouth and swallows it) team by two points, Albeit a team without its top two best players. I still think the Cards are the team to beat in the West (NFC). Especially because of that Ass hat HC.
Big Mover: Loss of 2 spots
I want to rank this team lower but just doesnt feel right (yet). They sucked (offensively) for 56 minutes before deciding that a TD might be in their best interest. Russell Wilson hurt his ankle but he won't need it next week when playing the Rams, because he has of course....

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I wonder if he drinks that water to recover after his new wife straps on the strapon (nicknamed The Fister 3000) and fucks the crap out of him......
Team Red Rocket actually did make the fg at the end of the game and won! Thats all I got on them....oh, and this.....

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Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
Cam got hit so many times in the head last week he thought flossing while on the sideline was gonna help increase their chances to win.

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It didnt....
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They are still a good team that played down to the wire and came down to a missed field goal.
The Chiefs were rusty the first half, which led to a 21-3 halftime deficit. But being a good and above average team that they are, they actually made adjustments and fought back and tied the game to go into overtime, in which they scored a td and won the game. They arent ready to move up the ranks, but if that second half can multiple into two full halves, they very well could.
Steelers kicked the Skins' asses, Even without some of their top playmakers Thats really all I have to say about the stupid lame ass Bitchburg Steelers...so I give you the best gif ever!!!!

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Big Mover: Gain of 2 spots
If not for the overall talent being above average on this team they would have lost. I tip my hat to them to not only survive the ass whooping Brees gave them, but to come out with a win. Del Rio has one massive set of cajones going for 2 points and the win instead of forcing some overtime!!

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Vikings offense didn't do jack crap. AP had a crappy day. When I say crappy, I mean shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiity!!!!
19 carries for 31 yards. If you take his long run of 9 yards out of that, he was 18 for 22 yards. YIKES!!!!!! Shaun Hill was Shaun Hill. Didn't do anything to win them the game, but didn't hurt them either. Its a good thing their defense showed up. They scored two touchdowns and Blair Wlash added four fg's to the party. Maybe the offensive production will rise once Sam Bradford gets the start.
Big Mover: Gain of 1 spots
The Texans smacked around "Da Bears" with ease on Sunday. The offense was efficient and the defense was as well. This next week vs. the Chiefs will be the real test to see whether they are contenders or pretenders.
Big Mover: Gain of 7 spots
The Gnats made a big leap this week. Eli looked really good and the team did well against the Cowpokes. Not much to say about the Gnats really so I give you this to distract you....

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Big Mover: Gain of 2 spots
Hold up, the Jags LOST and I moved them up two spots? What kind of ass backward bumpkin bullcrap power rankings is this?

The best kind!!! maybe....well its good right? You are at least looking at it so it can't be that bad...right? crap, thanks for making me so damn self conscious now!!! Wheres my damn teddy bear Mr. Bubbles Von Tiddlywink...

Anyways... The Jags played a very good game against a very good team, and I felt they played to this ranking. THE END!!
Big Mover: Loss of 1 spots
The Jets played a good game against Team Red Rocket but Gang Green just couldnt do enough to amputate them from a win. A late fg was their undoing as was with a few games last week. They are heading in the right direction though and could be a big headache to many teams this year.
Big Mover: Loss of 6 spots
Skins move down 6 spots this week after getting a boot kicked so far up their ass they could taste the soles on their tongue. Kirk Cousins is going to have to do better if he wants that big fat contract!

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Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
The Ravens didn't play great on offense but their defense did well enough to help them get the win. Thats all you're getting out of me on them.
Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
Captain Neckbeard set his sails on plundering the Lions. He actually did a great job. The only problem was that he didn't bring any Crew with him to hold back the other band of merry pirates. Until the Colts defense decides to actually suck less than a $3 Thai hooker, Captain Neckbeard is on his own.
Big Mover: Gain of 5 spots
Yup, I did move the Lions up 5 whole spots!! Why you may ask? Screw you, I don't have to tell you crap!! These are MY power rankings!! Not yours!!!

Anyways....

The reason why I moved them up so far is because they played a great game against the Colts. Stafford was great throwing over a 75% completion percentage on 39 passes, to go along with 3 td's and 0 int's. Who misses Calvin Johnson? Not this team.
Big Mover: Gain of 8 spots
The Bucs kicked some Falcon ass, Jameis played a great game and the entire team showed up to kick the Falcons straight in its coin purse!! Bucs look legit under Koetter.
Big Mover: Gain of 2 spots
The Saints moved up even in a loss. Brees is the bomb!!!! If the defense can do anything, and I mean anything at all this year, they could win a good amount of games.
Big Mover: Loss of 3 spots
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! freak you cowbitches!!!!! Thank you Terrance Williams for making the dumbass play of the week!!!!

Found some footage of a Cowboy fan watching the last play of the game:

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Big Mover: Gain of 4 spots
Yay.... Carson Wentz played good and you won......Yay...
Big Mover: Loss of 7 spots
Hey Rex, you suck!!!! Nice stinker to lay. Werent you going to make the playoffs this year? yea........not happenin foot boy!!!

Tyrod Taylor had a stellar day though, going 15-22 for a whopping 111 yards!!!! ouch!!! Seriously, when you can't even throw for more yards than a Rams QB, you kinda sucked a big fat one!! 6 years for $90 mil and that's what you do? Ouch again!!!
Big Mover: Gain of 6 spots
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I can't talk about this team right now, just can't.
This is how I imagine Whiner fans after the win though...

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Moving along...
Big Mover: Gain of 1 spots
Phins move up one spot for making the Seahawks offense look like crap for 56 minutes. To bad the game is 60 minutes....

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Big Mover: Gain of 2 spots
Chargers are moving up as well even in a loss, Mostly cause of the garbage behind them and because they came out guns a blazin and smacked the Chiefs in the mouth. To bad they aren't a better team though because a better team would have held onto that 21-3 lead you had at half-time.
Up 10-0 at half-time. Lose 25-16.

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Big Mover: Loss of 7 spots
You guys got crap for defense and your running game was horrid. Not a good combo for winning...But great for losing!!!!!!!!!

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Hey, guess who still sucks? Yup, DA BEARS!!!! They really didn't do anything good at all.
Big Mover: Loss of 13 spots
Yup, moved the good ol' Rams down 13 notches for laying the biggest stinker of the week. They were Shut out and inept for the majority of the game. You freaking pathetic ass crap eating underoo stains!!! you freaking twat pissing, ass sniffing inept bunch of baby back suck fucks!!! Way to renew the rivalry with the goddamn crap eating whiners!!! way to start off your first season back in LA. What a freaking joke of a game that was. Most of us think it is one of the worst games by the Rams we have ever seen, and we've seen some very very crappy rams games! I turned it off at half time and I have never done that in my life to a Rams game!!!

I wont talk to much about them sucking massive chode...

Even Ty Burell thinks you suck

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RG3 got hurt and is out for half the year maybe. Does it matter if he returns?

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SierraRam, flv, Dodgersrf and 6 others like this.

Comments

  1. tavian
    Tron excellent job once again.I do however have one request.
    If we lose to Seattle this week,would you mind throwing in a
    good ole fashioned "Fuuuuck You Jeff Fisher"?
    You know? Just for the Rams fans who have drank themselves
    unconscious and are lying in the floor of their Rams den in a
    puddle of tick with snot bubbles coming out their nose.Just for those guys.
    Thanks in advance.
      Tron likes this.
    1. Tron
      I will see what I can do
      Tron, Sep 17, 2016
  2. SierraRam
    'one of the worst games by the Rams we have ever seen, and we've seen some very very crappy rams games!'

    This was almost my exact quote after that debacle. Unlike you, I've been unable to comment or think sports since Monday. Thanks Tron for bringing me back before Sunday...

    Great job. Go Steelers
      Tron and CGI_Ram like this.
    1. Tron
      It wasn't easy trust me lol.
      Tron, Sep 17, 2016
  3. CGI_Ram
    That was a fun read!
  4. Jorgeh0605
    freaking media gives us no god damn respect and consistently rank us way too low.
      Tron likes this.
  5. DaveFan'51
    Well Tron, I have to admit it, I was wrong, last week, when I advised you to " Don't Quit you Day JoB!" :)
    With this piece you have proved to me " You've found your calling!!" (y)(y)
    This is the Best Ranking I have ever Read! It ranks right up their with @Prime Time and his Rebutal Posts of Jim Thomas's Show!!
    To steal a line from a " Bond Film" to describe your work! ... " No Body does it better!"(y)(y);):D
      Tron likes this.
    1. Tron
      Thanks kindly!!! Now when you guys gonna start paying me???
      Tron, Sep 16, 2016
  6. jetplt67
    I can't imagine how bad the Browns must be if they are ranked lower than us. I expected us to occupy new spot, pushed back into the NCAA rankings just above the TCU Horned Frogs but below the Fox Valley Tech Fighting Foxes of Appleton, WI
      Tron likes this.
    1. Tron
      It was close, and If the Rams play Sunday like they Did last Monday...well yea...
      Tron, Sep 16, 2016
  7. RhodyRams
    Well done again, and you included boobs gif



    I give you 1 like !
      DaveFan'51 and Tron like this.
  8. Rambitious1